... a newly fractured wrist from one of her seizures. Right now she is stable. They have her sedated. She has not relapsed back into the coma, she is just sleeping. The doctors are still refusing pain meds. At first I didn't know why. But now I understand. First off, the coma damaged her kidneys. She will need a transplant. And secondly, she is pregnant. Now you can imagine my shock when hearing this because it was just a few days ago that they informed us that children were not possible. She is two months along. I do not understand how they missed this. She has been in this hospital for two weeks now and they are just now finding out that she is pregnant. I don't know where I'm taking her yet, but I am getting her out of this hospital. They are all good people, but I think they are over their heads with Melissa and don't know what to do for her anymore. So now I have to worry about not only losing my wife, but my child too. They sedated her very early this morning. She should be waking up sometime soon. She does not know yet that she is pregnant. I was so afraid last night. I really thought I was going to lose her. So again I do apologize for not responding sooner. I love messaging all of you and I will continue to answer all of your comments and questions. I love you all. -adam
Adam, if they can stabilize her, see if your insurance (VA?) will medflight her to a major hospital. I suggest a university teaching hospital or one of the big cities. I agree with this completely to get her out of there. The issue would be her stability.
Your hospital social,worker should work on this for you immediately. You do not have to do the leg work completely. If you have family to trust or pastor, they can also help. Your job right now is to be there when she awakens and caring for yourself to stay strong. are you remembering to eat?
I do not know either of you, but have read all the posts Melissa has posted ever and yours as well, and will add to the prayers for all 3 of you. In hospitals in the northeast (not sure of your physical location), there is a "hospitalist" which is a doctor assigned to complicated cases and deals with discharges/coordination of care, and there is a case manager you can request who they can page to come talk to you about insurance issues, care issues, and potential hospital transfers... hang in there, and make sure you are taking care of yourself, as you go through the rollercoaster of emotions. There are also counselors they can page for you to talk things through, as self-care is the only way to make it through this as individuals, a couple, and as potential parents... Terca
Thank you all for the advice. I am starting in getting her transferred. As for myself... I'm trying. I'm trying to take care of myself too but its hard when she is so sick. I ate at around 2 yesterday. Haven't had anything since. Its hard to remember to eat when she is seizing over and over. That can't be good for the baby.
Omg! Oh my well in light of everything I would go to the biggest hospital within a 2 hour drive and sign a release for her record from there. Who knows you may need to get an attorney! I think a congratulations is in order and just profound disbelief that maybe that should have been one of the first tests?! I pray and have kept her and you in my thoughts and just resorted to begging God to please have mercy this is heart breaking on so many levels.
I truly appreciate you taking time to post as I could only imagine the torment right now. I wish I was there to somehow advocate for you. I have hospice training and just seems like they are taking chances with her and not looking at all the options. I'm so sad. When she does wake I would ask her where would be best.. I imagine she had some thoughts once she was diagnosed of where would the best hospital could be to fight this. You all hold onto each other and talk as much as possible, and get a doctor or a couple to commit to her.. for everything. Sometimes there are too many running and asking questions that none are truly answered and I pray that you have at least one now speaking English and making sense. I'm praying you all. I pray this gets better and soon.
You might want to take a look at MD Anderson Hospital. If you are transferring to a oncology center MD Anderson is one of the best. From information shared above I am assuming you are in Oklahoma and by air transport it would be less than two hours. I pray for all three of you. That said sometimes you have to help God in getting what you need. The social worker at the hospital can do all the leg work. If you get support from the physician caring for Melissa it even makes it easier. As far as food, Mark you are already paying for a tray for each meal... just ask the nurses to get you Melissa's they will. You won't have to feel like you are leaving her but yet you will be keeping your strength up to help her fight the fight. I would really evaluate whether you need the chemo for the next few days, and maybe let her recover. Hope always.
Well congratulations on the baby. I know you both wanted a child. I will be praying for all three of you now! This will make it harder on Melissa now regarding meds and all. Adam try to have granola bars or nuts with you in the hospital with water or juice drinks. You have to take care of yourself, to keep your strengh too to take care of Melissa. I wish you well on finding a place for Melissa. One day at a time!
Oh my gosh Adam; I don't even know where to begin... My heart is with you both so very much as I know anyone who's read about yours and Melissa's plight heart's are with you: every second of every minute of every hour of every day... I will keep envisioning that a feeling of peace and strength resides deep within your core. And Melissa's. That Melissa's being is somehow enhanced by the love being sent her way. AnnieB(Happy)Hopeful
I realize that there have been some questions raised about whether Melissa story is real or not. I am here to say, yes, it is real. I also realize that people notice inconsistencies with the times that Addison was born and what not. Melissa was an amazing person. Very loving and affectionate towards everyone. But she has a real hard time keeping to the facts. She was attacked while she was in high school by four boys, one being her date. Shuster is how she got pregnant with Addison. She was so young. She always had a hard time dealing with this fact. Sometimes, in telling her story to people, she would change the dates of what happened to make herself seem as though she were older than she really was at that time. She was always ashamed at how young she was when she had Addison. And sometimes she would tell people that Addison was a much younger age. She did not intend to hurt people or upset people by doing this. It was just her way of coping with things.
The truth: Melissa was diagnosed with leukemia in the middle of her pregnancy with Addison. She held off treatment until after Addison was born. Which was four years ago. Melissa was 15 when she had addison. This was when she done her first rounds of chemo. She went into remission. It is true that Addison passed away last year. But not in the same way Melissa portrayed. We were in the car. Going down the interstate. Melissa was driving. Addison unbuckled herself and was standing up in the backseat. Melissa took her eyes off the road and turned around to get on to Addison. The car quickly went off the road. Flipped about 3 times. Addison was killed on impact. Melissa blamed herself. Hated herself really for what happened. So she created a fantasy where Addison was sick too and her death was no ones fault. Again, she did not intend on hurting any of you. She just couldn't emotionallly handle the truth. So she altered it. Melissa passed away. She did not wake from the coma. I just couldnt tell you all that she died. Figured if I said it enough it would come true.
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