... her father w/glioblastoma. If you can talk to me that would be great. I am on dial up. Maybe you can suggest something. She now has him in the hospital. Doesn't seem to recognize her. Please help. Thank you, . I wish to be able to support her better. I live in another state.
I am so, so sorry that your daughter Sandra is having to deal with this horrible disease. I am a survivor of incurable cancer, multiple myeloma. To be perfectly honest, the best you can do is to be someone she can call when she needs to decompress. Just be a good listener --- let her get it all out. She will be sad, depressed, angry, hopeless, happy about small accomplishments, and every other emotion you can think of. Although her father is still living, she has started her grieving process. It is human nature to grieve for the person her father once was. To help her, perhaps you can make phone calls to check into hospice, nursing visits when he goes home, a sitter for a few hours every week so she can get a break and have some "Sandra" time. If you were close by, you could do more, but from another state you are limited. Encourage her to talk to her doctor about an antidepressant. When you talk to her, try to focus on and recall happy and/or funny memories of her father. That's especially important now that he doesn't recognize her. Jeanette, your daughter is going through a living hell right now. Unfortunately, as his cancer progresses, it will get worse. Cancer affects everyone who loves the person. Be her rock, because she will need someone whose strength she can draw on. I will add you to my friends list so you can send me a private question if you want to talk. Just click on my name in blue and you will be taken to my profile page where there is an option to ask a private question. My prayers and thoughts are with your family and Sandra's family. Stay strong for her.
Hello. The best support for a caregiver is to give them a break. Let them have a day to go out and take care of errands or whatever they need. Have someone sleep overnight instead. Does she have sibs? They should be there. You should be there if at all possible. The plane ticket is worth it. This is a very frightening thing to go through alone. Gather as much family as you are able. Doesn't matter if you divorced. She is the one you are there to help.
I hope he had a medical directive. This sounds like he is at the last stages. Has he been transferred to Hospice? They can do so at the hospital with their social worker. That would also help her.
Send her flowers. Call her. Have others share their love with her.
There is one very dangerous thing you have done. Never, ever use a real name on a web site. People will find you, her home or cause tremendous grief. I suggest you take down this post, tell the administration to erase it and start with a fake name. This truly is dangerous if the wrong person shows up. And they will.
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