i have been dating him for almost a year now and i am absolutly in love with him..the problem is lately his depression has gotten so bad. i feel its because of his past with using heroine..hes away at school now so i onlly see him every other weekend but we talk multiple times a day so i would really not have a clue if he were still using..he still brings it up occasionally and it makes me nervous..i have been holding in my feelings abt all of this because know one can seem to understand/relate. im just becoming depressed myself and i am afraid i will fall back into my past depression.i would really appreciate some input
I'm in the same position. I started dating this guy whos on methadone and said hes stopped using heroin. However, he still drinks and occasionaly sells drugs. He ended it with me sayin that he changed his mind about us. In the beginning he wanted to see me all the time and was so sweet always called me and got insecure when i didnt want to see him and i thought it was cute. But now he got mad that i asked him about his drug use and asked if he ever stole from his family. That pushed him over the edge and now hes not talking to me. Im heartbroken. But I think he may be using while on the methadone.
hi pnp,when u asked that question,first thing that went through my mind is you can replace the word with soooo many diffrent substances. the one i was dating was an alcoholic.at first i thought no big deal,just a couple of beers and maybe a shot or two. then i got hurt and was put on pain meds.for some reason if i took my medicine it was ok for her to get drunk.i would even stop taking my meds just so she wouldn't go out and get trashed.finally i had to say enough is enough,and we broke up.8 years with the same person is like loosing part of yourself.so now i guess im half a person,trying to get over it.
Heartbreaking stories, yours, subzeros, and bellerinas. I can relate with some of the issues but not the heroin or the methodone parts. The thing is, no matter what you say, or try to do, it will always come down to a matter of trust. Not being able to trust someone is a relationship killer. All the other things can be dealt with. Like coming here for support, I know it helps just getting your stories out there. There are programs for people who have loved ones who are addicts. And as far as your boyfriend bringing the subject up, it may be his way of dealing with it. It's like the stories you hear about a spouse cheating. The one who got cheated on needs to hear every sleazy detail, however hurtful it is. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Both of you should try couples counseling. Deal with the depression too. How can you help him when you're so down? Maybe he's depressed because he feels you may never understand. Try listening to him when he brings the subject up.
Encourage him to talk about it. It will help you both understand things better. I sure hope it works out for you. Be proactive in helping yourself, then you can deal with his issues better. I really wish you the best!
I dated a user of about 5 years and started using myself. It lasted for about a year until I decided to get clean and shortly there after so did she. Our relationship has never been better and nothing like it was when we were both using. Chances are, any negative or poor behavior that is displayed now, that is similar to while he was using, he's probably using again. Its happened to me 1 time and I was right. All
you can do is truly love that person and don't give up on them. Hopefully 1 day that awful drug will be so far in the past and all that will remain is the two of you and a bright future together. Good Luck!
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