My boyfriend of 3 years is in rehab for the next few months or so. . We used to live together and now I moved out into my own unit.
I love him and wish things could work out but I doubt he will love me when he is sober. Or that he will stay sober. I want to break up with him. I can call him twice a week for ten minutes but he is in a phone room with no privacy and he also sneaks calls to me.
How do I break up with him while he is in rehab when half of me doesn't want to but my brain says it's no going to work out as the last time he came out of rehab he stopped loving me. Now he says that was because of the drugs but I know that's bull.
I just want to be free and if it's meant to be he can peruse me once he is out. How do I tell him that? He will be angry that I may start dating other guys but I'm 25 and my clock is ticking so I can't put myself on the shelf for a maybe..
Why do you call him twice a week if you want to break things off? I would just quit calling him and not be available if he calls you. You should tell him face to face once he is out that you no longer want to have a relationship if he is too thick-headed to figure it out when you dont call him or answer his calls. What you describe doesnt sound like love. Dont get love and caring for someone's well being mixed up. They are two very different things. Perhaps he will be sober once he gets out. If you really do love him, maybe it is worth a chance. If you dont want to give him that chance, then just stop contact and once he is out you can tell him that you no longer want to pursue a relationship. Or you can try to stop all contact and if he is persistent and doesnt get it, just tell him that-"I no longer want to pursue a relationship with you. I care for you and I hope you do well in the rest of your life but I feel it is time for me to move on." Then get on with your life. I never have figured out why women have trouble breaking up. You all make it into some kind of a game. Men are straight forward. They are what you see and usually say what they mean (unless it is "I love you" in the throes of passion or they are trying to get into your pants) Men dont play mind games like women do. Just tell him your are done and be done with it (if you really are). It sounds to me like you have been hurt and want this man to chase you and beg for you to come back. Dont play mind games. It isnt fair. If you want to get out, get out!
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