My boyfriend of a yr and 1/2, told me in the middle of the night that he has had a problem with cocaine and adderall off and on since high school ( and is now 25). I knew he had an addictive personality. When we first started dating we would do them together on occasion, but I dont do that kind of thing at all really. I just wanted to let him know I was ok with it and not trying to change who he was. Until he stared hiding it from me and lieing about it. That was several months ago.
Just last night he drops this on me. My first reaction was, "is there anything else you need to tell me while I finally got you open."(and have noticed He of course took it like I was implying he was cheeting as well. Now he says "Inever should have told you, all I wanted was help." Of course there are many thought running through my head at the time, "How could I be so stupid not to see it?, Is this why he never has money 2 days after he gets paid?ect.." And now he cant understand why I reacted the way I did. I told him I was sorry and should have reacted differently but all I needed was to process what he just told me in the middle of the night while im half asleep. Now he doesnt even want to talk about it.
I have always been the optimistic person in our relationship. I guess he expected me to be like, "oh baby its ok, come cry on my shoulder after you have been hiding this from me for over a yr. and God knows what else he is lied about." I guess my question is should I just give up on trying because I feel like He is being very selfish and anytime I have a problem he basicaly say I dont wanna talk about that right now. Or should I just put on my fake smile with this hugh knot in my stomach and act like it never happened?