I'm bipolar, have ptsd, and severe anxiety. I currently take 20mg lexapro daily, 200mg seroquel at bedtime, and 1mg klonopin 1-2 times daily as needed. I am currently going through a manic episode and my anxiety is through the roof because of some of the careless decisions I have been making. I'm scared to visit my dr. because I don't want to be put in the hospital. The last time I went to see her I was in a depressive state and it took a lot of promises on my part to stay out of the hospital then. I'm worried that if I go now while in a manic state, she will definitely want me hospitalized to get me stable. I guess I'm looking for any suggestions on how to cope with this phase and also, I don't want to feel so alone...
You are not alone, but you are isolating yourself by believing your Dr is something to be feared.. This worry and fear is the culprit, most of it brought on by you, so, just as easily relieved by you. Changes your perspective on your DR, face these "careless" decisions for what they really are. You made these decisions and you can take that same decision making power and use it to NOT make those decisions anymore, and also to make the decision toward wellness by cutting this stuff about fearing the DR, and embrace Truth and the Dr, Without this resource that is right in your grasp you'll wind up pouring your soul out to strangers on a website when there's real live flesh and warm blooded help within your grasp. Come on now, you know the truth here. Reach out and decide to get well. Best to you, hope this helps.
Having been bipolar for many, many years, I suggest you are honest with your doctor. Sounds to me like you need to be on a mood stabilizer so to prevent these episodes. The big problem with mania aside from the poor decision we make while manic is that the mania is followed by severe depression. Your doctor probably wanted to put you in the hospital because you were suicidal. This will happen again once the mania subsides.
You have made the first step in addressing the mania by admitting to it. Now follow through by asking for the appropriate medication to control it. You will be glad you did.
I strongly suggest you reach out to your doctor. Write all these things down & strongly advise your doctor you don't want to be hospitlized. If he insists it is only for your own good, & others you are around & interreact with. For instance, do you have children that you are responsible for? How can you make decent decisions or be 100% positive you wil make the right choices for all involved especallly yourself. Sometimes to get a person straightened out on their meds it takes a hospital visit to make sure they don't injure themselves or others around them. It's a safety net if you will. Please copy what you have written here, & call your doc ASAP, & see what he has to say! It surely can't hurt anything, & listen to his reasoning for why if he so chooses to have you take a vacation for a bit in the hospital. He is only trying his best to help you & the other people you interreact with on a daiy basis.
I know this to be true because my husband is also bipolar with manic issues. I have been the brunt of his mania, & suicidal tendancies. I sure wouldn't ever want to go through that again. Please, heed your doctors advice & be as honest as you possibly can be with him with what is going through your thoughts right now. That is why I suggested writing down notes until you can call him. Be sure to tell him of your concerns, & hey, what a few days vacation being waited on hand & foot? I would love that kind of attention once in a awhile! Best wishes to you, & let us know how you are doing...
Hello Key darlin, I empathize with you totally. Ive been where you are. What the ladies Laurie and Mary said and even balbanese are right on, however, I think you need a friend right now.
If you would like to talk privately you can PQ (private question)me anytime... my heart goes out to you dear. My only hope in this world is my creator, so I shall pray for you... praying all will work out for you with comfort and peace ... pamee
Hi there Key,
Sometimes we need to be hospitalized to get our meds and ourselves all fixed up. I had to go to the hospital when I had a major depression/psychotic episode. It was rough but the best thing for me. The doctors found the right meds for me to be on. It took awhile but now I have been fine and have my life back. It's been 5 years next month. Now I can enjoy my family and friends again. Thank God!
Don't be scared to talk to your doctor, that's why she is there to help you.
Wow..I'm so impressed by the responses you have received. These people really care. I care. I don't know how to use fancy proffesional words. I'm just a southern girl lol., but I will say that I too have suffered with bipolar my whole life too. Unfortunately I was hospitalized twice in the phsychiatric unit for one to two weeks in my earlier years, do to some unwise things I done, or didn't do. I am a completely different person now, but when I was in a severe depression/panic eppisode I would do self harm. This is the first time I've shared this on the site. But I want you to know you are not the only one who struggles with this, and you are not alone. And there are many people on here that have had or are experiencing the same thing as you. I'm going to be carefule about giving you advise right now. I don't want to give the wrong one. It doesn't appear that are anywhere close to being stable right now. I'm concerned, because I've been there and done that, what will happen if you don't see you're doctor in the condition you're in. Sometimes you can be given all the advise in the world, and it won't do you one ounce of good if you don't take and use the advise you have been given. Honey, don't you want to feel better? I've been there. It's hauntingly miserable. That's what the doctor's are there for. To get you stabilized. Your mind is spinning around like a globe right now, and I bet you , you can't even hardly think right now. Please Please Please listen to what all the other people wrote to you. Listen to what I am writing. I can give you advice if it were regarding some mild depression or something like that. But my advise and suggestion is to see you're doctor before something bad happens to you. I'm not trying to scare you. I am just concered and want to help you sooo bad right now. I hope I havent said anything that you might take the wrong way. I meant every word I wrote to you out of love and concern. Get off that ugly train, and get to a better ride. You're worth it. And you can do it. It was very brave of you to write here. I'm proud of you for that. Many prayers will be said for you. Your friend, Ruthie. And I'm here if you need me.
Hi - I had many years dealing with PTSD. It can take you all over the map with mood swings! I've gone to several different hospitals for 1-3 weeks - one thing you might do to have some control in a shaky time is to research inpatient places that specialize in trauma disorders and see if there are any in your area. Once I got past being sent to the closest impatient pysych unit (who didn't have a clue on what to do with a PTSD patient - oh do I understand those trust issues! I did SO much better when I was inpatient at a place that knew how to help trauma patients! I know in my area (Maryland) there is Shepphard Pratt in Baltimore and Pyschiatric Insitute in DC. Try doing an Internet search and talk with your doctor about this - he/she can make the call to get you in should you need to go. Sometimes just knowing we have some say in our care can be all that we need.
And to encourage you: I was diagnosed bipolar some 28 years ago and was in/out of psych hospitals and on so many meds! Thanks to 5 inpatient times at a trauma psych unit, and to many years of working with a trauma therapist, I no longer have any PTSD problems - no mania, rapid mood swings, flashbacks, anxiety - all of that - gone! I just have depression triggered by changes in pain meds, and that isn't bad compared to how I was before. So be encouraged - and find a good therapist - and stay alive. That is the most important thing!! I "friended" you - if you become my "friend" we can talk privately. I'll be praying for you - ElizaJane
Many people care about you, pretty obvious wouldn´t you say.
Before I share my thoughts; I read all of the answers and they are as someone put it "spot on", and I also read your profile. I am glad you are happily married and how you describe him, your hubby... "he is my rock!" really made me think, you must his. Key you must be stronger than ever, you are young and have a full life ahead of you, so do not be afraid , because that fear will only do 2 things keep you alert, which with all due respect is not your case and immobilize you and make you weak and it will cloud your vision by taking the wrong decision, be a warrior, you want a family, fight for it, prepare for the future.
I am trying to say go to the Dr., you at this very moment need it more than ever, and if you are hospitalized use it to your advantage, learn from it, you need to be in a safe environment and take it as another experience.
I know so out of my own experience, what you have lived so have I, it is hard for me to talk about myself, but here it goes.
I am 43, male, suffer from bipolar disorder, ocd, ptsd, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, insomnia, my last manic episode was 2 years ago and it lasted 4 years, I have been in mental institutions 4 times, the longest one for 1 year, and it made me strong. So if you have read this far, thank you... go with your head up high to the Dr., and leave that fear behind you.
I wish you the very best in your prompt recovery,
I have had manic episodes and phsycotic breaks due to bipolar disorder and protracted klonopin withdrawal... I was extremely productive but anxious as hell during the episode... I was always compulsive and grandiose as well... I was bedridden for months with the withdrawal during which time I researched researched researched... these forums are a great place to share... people who know what you're going thru are
here to help... just remember " this too shall pass" I went from bouncing off the walls on friday to covering my head when the sun came up on Saturday I was so depressed... it was SOOO hard to function... I found that being able to recognize the symptoms allowed me to deal with them better..I had a psychotic break recently.and was able to recognize it for what it was while it was transpiring... helped me cope... the break was caused by sleep deprivation stemming from the withdrawal..I still have it but its getting better slowly... time my friend... call your dr. They may have to change your meds... everyone needs a "tuneup" once in a while... God Bless. I feel your pain
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