... by wanting things.
He will badger for hours. My family is falling apart
I cannot get help
He is on celexa ability and depakote
I am sick over this
He lives like a mess, just drops stuff on floor
Cruel to his sisters
Inside he's hurting
Bipolar Disorder - My son is 13. He is bipolar. He avoids depressive thoughts and responsibilities?
- 2 May 2011 by annie10
- 1 Feb 2013
- celexa, depakote, depression, mania, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, anxiety and stress
... by wanting things.
Do you have your son in behavioral therapy? The medication is going to help but changing behaviors that have become habits must be addressed cognitively. You mentioned that you can not get help, why not? Learning to redirect innappropriate behavior is a must. Letting these behaviors go will only make his life more miserable. He is crying out for help, like you mentioned, and needs someone unbiased to talk to. If he already is in therapy, then may be you need to try a different therapist if they are not making progress.
I feel for you, raising a teenager is difficult, let alone one with a mental illness.
I can only encourage you to keep trying. Never indicate that you are frustrated. Your unconditional love is paramount but not enabling his inappropriate behavior is the key.
Laurie is absolutely right!!! Now is the time to start working towards a goal of improving on setting limits, what is and isn't acceptable, teaching him what he has can be lived with and he can overcome, He dosen't have to be this way, things will get better for you, the therapist here incorporates family into a cousin of mine who has a problem similar to his, it is to where certain times it is just for my cousin and then they bring the family into the picture, she has made changes that I can hardly believe, they have even been able to reduce her medications, She looks responsibilities as something that she needs to achieve and she has used therapy as a tool that has been positive for everyone that interacts with her. Please keep us posted, you will find that this will be well worth the investment!
Laurie as always has a fabulous answer! Children want boundaries! They will push and misbehave just to see where the boundaries are! Even though he has a mental illness doesnt mean he shouldnt be held accountable for the things he does! You do not tolerate this kind of behavior in any child! As Laurie said, you cant expect the meds to do everything for you. You must establish the boundaries of what is allowed and what isnt. Dont let him use his mental illness to get by with unacceptable behavior! If you cant find help locally, read up yourself on his illness so you know what to expect from this. Try National Institute for Mental Health or Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration websites. SAMHSA is a great site. The American Academy ofChild and Adolescent Psychiatry has a resources for families section you might look at.
There is a bipolar resource section under the family resource section. Read up on all the info you can so you are armed and ready as to what behaviors are the illness and what is teenage boy!! It is easy to want to excuse certain behaviors when you know they hurt inside but there are certain behaviors that must not be acceptable for anyone. Being cruel to his family is never acceptable. Dropping stuff on the floor is not acceptable! I truly think you both could benefit from counseling and I hope you are able to find a resource to get the counseling. I dont mean to sound harsh to you. I have two sons, one with ADD and the other with pretty severe ADHD and aggresion so I do know some of what you are going through and how it breaks your heart and makes you feel guilty but on the other hand you cant allow certain behaviors. Trust me-he wants those boundaries and you must set them! Be strong and read all you can get your hands on. the better informed you are the better for your children-all of them!!
Hopefully you had a neuropsychological test. Don't over medicate him for one thing. Try mayoclinic.com great Web site I've used it for my son with bipolar. Any questions feel free to ask. It his hard with them, stick it out! My son is now 22, takes no meds and is doing great. Learn about his disability then educate him. They have to understand it to help themselves. Good luck, keep in touch I'm at metashootie.netzero.net.
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