... wrong but this drive and need I have to act on them is getting hard to fight off
You can see your Doctor while you can still recognise they are dumb ideas; if you have been there and done that before you should know it's probably just a matter of time before they start seeming like good ideas. That tends not to end well for me when my judgement is so impaired that idiocy seems sensible.
Do yourself a favour and see the Doctor as soon as possible.
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