i will be doing pretty well , then start going down quickly . istart to wonder why ??? could i have been a better mother , friend ? why did i make the decisions i made ? would my son still be alive ?
You have an illness, whether situational or physical, you need to give yourself the opportunity to heal. Therapy along with the correct medications should help you learn the tools to deal with the emotions and the triggers which prompt them. We can't change the past, but we can live for the future. Please, if you aren't already, seek the appropriate therapy and begin to heal so these emotions don't continue to haunt you.
I know it sounds tough, but since we can't control our obsessive thoughts, its very important for us to keep doing positive things and not dwell on things. Don't sit and stew about stuff or question anything about the past. We can't change that, but we can certainly change what we DO about our thoughts or how we act on them today. Instead of 'entertaining the thoughts', keep moving... to therapy, call healthy friends that you've met at local mtgs. for bipolar/depression, take a walk, listen to music, start a project, do anything but ask about things that can't be changed. The answers will come if we work for them, by being productive, active, helpful members of our community in whatever form... just do it! (Nike quote). Yes, many things are sad. Feel it and move on, but the overthinking gets us every time! :)
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