Hello members (new friends) I recently found out my 3 soon tb 4y/o is ADHD & ODD. this is my first & only child. I am losing it trying to deal with him & his outburst/hitting/ & plan out rudeness... he is only 3 but we have changed his school to a smaller setting. still no avail! he is very rude to adults & other kids his size or bigger. NO FEAR WHAT SO EVER of nothing!!! Thats y im so afraid for my baby... Phsyc says look into tryn Tenex.. see her again in 4days!! This will b the 1st med we have tried. Just lookn for encourgagement :)
Hi, sorry to hear your having such hard time. How do you feel about starting your little boy on the medication? Have you considered having a child behaviour specialist visit you and your son at home? She/he would be able to assess your usual daily pattern and suggest improvements or changes to help dealing with you little boy a bit easier and put him in to a routine to promote a more stable temperament. You could also seek advice from a nutritionist to plan a healthy diet for your son witch eliminates foods/drinks that promote hyperactivity/energy. It is surprising how much of an impact a persons diet can have on their physical and mental health. Also it might be advisable for you to seek a little help for yourself so you can share your concerns and have someone that you can talk to when you're having a hard time with things.
I would recommend you doing a bit of research on the medication suggested for your son, type it in to the search box at the top of this site. You can get some good info there. Also it might be worth researching the effectiveness/success rate. This has some good information about it; http://counsellingresource.com
Don't be too put off by the side effects. I hope this has helped a little?
Bless your heart, I know exactly what you are going through! I could have written your post several years back. I had the same kind of trouble with my sons. The second one more so than the first. He was something else back then. I knew other people couldnt stand him and thought he was an awful brat and I loved him so much. I tried EVERYTHING with him! We tried behavior modification, we tried diet modification and other things to no avail. I used to dread picking him up from daycare because they would have a long list of all the things he did all day. He was the same. NO FEAR!! I was always afraid some bigger kid was going to really wallop him one day and they may have if it wasnt for his older brother watching out for him! Finally, in first grade, I was at my wits end and in a meeting with the principal, teacher, school psychologist and others about what we were going to do with my son, I told them I had decided to take him to a psychiatrist to have him evaluated for ADHD.
We decided to intervene again after the Dr visit. They did determine he had ADHD and we decided to go ahead and try medication. The psychiatrist told me if he truly had ADHD we would know right away when we started the meds. OMG! About 2 hours after the first dose of Concerta he was a different kid! The fighting between him and his brother was better, we werent having to get after him every minute, he would listen and look you in the face when you spoke to him! A month later he was student of the month! It made our lives SO much better. The real thing that made me realize his behavior was something he couldnt control was the night after he has hit some child at school I took away his stuffed penguin. He LOVED this penguin. He took it everywhere with him and he slept with it. Thinking back now, it was probably kind of cruel to have taken it away but I didnt know what else to do. I had to get through to him that he couldnt act this way and HAD to curb his behavior!! He cried ALL night for that penguin. Begged me to give it back, said he'd NEVER hit another kid. It just tore my heart from my chest but I wouldnt give it back. Then he went to school the next day and punched another child!! I knew then that this was beyond his control and I decided then that we had to medicate and it was the best thing I could have done! I wished I'd done it sooner! In studying about ADHD and ADD I realized my younger son had ADD so we medicated him for awhile too. Their grades went up. (I knew they were both very intelligent yet their grades never reflected that until after the meds) My oldest started refusing his meds once he got into high school. His grades did drop some but he was able to pass. My younger one is now 16 and just finished his 10th grade year. I gave him the choice of trying school without meds but he has decided to continue. He knows his focus is just not the same without. We are at a point now where he can go weekends and summers without meds which earlier in his life we could never do. I think maybe soon he will be able to get by without the meds but if he doesnt then well, so be it. It wasnt the absolute end of all his difficulties. They (teachers and school officials) did continue to have an attitude toward him until he got out of grade school and he still had his days and instances of trouble. He still doesnt let anyone walk on him at all and still has no patience for stupidity and doesnt let anyone treat him unfairly. Consistency is really a key thing for these kids. They thrive on consistency. I made sure bedtime was at a certain time, meals were at certain times, everything was scheduled. Read all you can about these disorders and never let anyone make you feel bad for doing for your child what you need to, to make his life better. The better informed you are the better you will do for him. Take a lot of deep breaths and count to 5 because if you count to 10 he'll be long gone! lol Good Luck with your treatment and I hope your outcome is as lucky. We were lucky to hit on something that worked right away. For a lot of kids, it is a bit of trial and error before you come up with the right combination of meds. Fell free to send me a private message if you need to talk to someone! Dzoo
I just want to say you are not alone. They diagnosed my son with ADHD at age 5. He just wasn't like the other kids and it broke my heart. We had him evaluated by SDSU physchologist who confirmed ADHD and ODD. Oppostional Defiant Disorder. Sounds like what you are describing about his behaviour. We went through it too. At 6 he started Ritalin. He can't take pills so we crushed it every morning. But the afternoon teachers were complaining of his impulsive behaviour, not paying attention, etc. So we tried Adderall XR. It's been very hard. The medication was great but it didn't address the horrible behavioural problems. We coudn't control him. So we looked into ABA - Applied Behavoural Analyisis. Pshychologists come to your home and teach you skills to change the home environment for the better. It's like a SuperNanny lol. It really works. These kids i learned, need a lot of structure, and knowing a head of time what is expected. We use a star chart to get even small things done. They thrive on a reward based system instead of punishment when they do something wrong. They call it "catch them being good and praise praise". My son is 8. We still struggle, so it's not going to be an overnight fix. He is getting better. I hoped I helped in some means to calm your fears. ADHD kids are very unique and at times very funny and very creative. Sorry I went on. please write me if you wish, cathleen
Hang in there... my son was the same way at that age and he is now 8 years old... my biggest greatest advise is to try the natural remedies first!!! I didnt and wish I did... now I am struggling with the psyc. trying to overdrug him and more than one med at a time... he has been on every kind of med since the age of 5 and almost everyone--- EVENTUALLY- will cause aggression and then the dr. will want to up the dose or try another... I have been down that road and am now searching for a natural alternative... also a grandmother of 2 teens said that she gave the 2 teens (when they were little and labeled ADHD) one cup of coffee in the morning, a half a hershey chocolate bar in the afternoon and a bottle of Mountain Dew in the evening and she took them off meds and it worked... I KNOW this sounds crazy but when I was young I remember my Aunt giving my little cousin who was ADHD coffee so...
it sorta makes since being that caffeine is a stimulant and thats what all these ADHD drugs are... just last night I gave my son 3 Mountain Dews and it seemed to calm him some and for once he didnt hit on his siblings or fight so... give it a try if ya want... let me know how it works for ya... I am going to try the coffee and chocolate tomm... but the best advise I can give to you is since your little one is young yet--- before school age--- try out the natural things first!!! Once they hit the school system they will push you towards the medication and then if you dont they will make you feel like a bad parent..trust me I know... things like biometics.com... plus the neu-bcalm... products like that is now what I am looking into... dont let the dr's make a guinea pig out of your little one... it is also hard for me... I am 47 with 5 adopted kids ranging in age from 3-10 and 4 out of 5 have mental issues... its just my son who is 8 is the hardest to deal with with the aggression and lack of respect and now his label of ODD... let me know what you deside and I will be hear for you... hang in there!!!
I know everyone has their own opinion about this, and you must make up your own mind. But, anyone who has NOT had a child with ADHD or Oppositional Defiant DO, in particular, cannot possibly know that this IS NOT a normal part of growing up, not a "boys will be boys" type of DO. Two of my nephews have it, and it goes way beyond ADHD, so the combination is more than tough to handle. Both sets of parents are terrific, structured, loving parents, who come from loving families. These two DOs are actually the result of medical, physical changes in the structure and processing of the brain.
The ADHD person's brain is different! Because the brain does not process thoughts as quickly along the synaptic sites, which transfer electrical & chemical "messages", they get an overload of "brain chatter", and its nearly impossible to focus and remain still! Yes, they are creative, intelligent little beings, that if truly needed, can benefit greatly with medications. This can be done in addition to nutritional and behavioral mod. therapies. And, yes they love consistency & structure, but they always continue to "test" us. My son and I are both ADHD. Along with that DO comes low self-esteem, which is exacerbated by the negative reactions from others. This can cause the cycle of "acting out" for more attention, in any way, shape or form possible. I had NO fear when I was little. You could take anything away from me or punish, and it just plain didn't work. I gave my son the choice of meds. when he was 8. He didn't like them. He struggled terribly when he opted off until he saw how they helped him and the positive reactions by others. I'm happy to say that, although he was a late bloomer, he is now finishing college on the Dean's list, loves to read (which was hard for him before), and is a genuinely wonderful son. And, when he has a tough project, he will take his meds. Good luck, and remember that there is NO pat answer about who should or shouldn't be on meds. Your answer will come from research, open-mindedness, and experimentation.
I am here to try and encourage you, I have a little cousin who your son and her sound very similar as far as behavior, her mother left decided dealing with a child wasn't what she wanted thus her grandfather and I are 1st cousins and she is my 2nd cousin, his parents went to visit one day on instinct her mother's room mate told my Aunt she is gone and has decided she no longer wants the little girl, she has had problems with being rude, she has an appetite that she seems like she's starved, for awhile she put on a great amount of weight so much so the doctors were concerned about her becoming diabetic, she has lost loads of weight (now has thyroid problems)
she of course now is almost 12, one of the first drugs she was placed on was Tenex, her problems are more severe but having her mom do like she did sure was of no help to her, she has a complicated history I just want to assure you that psychiatric doctors see loads of children with these types of problems, It can and is very frustrating you try and remember you are not alone, you are trying to see that he gets the best that he can get, Mya has more serious problems than your son we did not find out till she was older how complicated things really are, My cousin (Mya's Grandfather) mid 40's has found it to be so hard! Tenex was the last drug Mya was put on Mya was thought to have ADHD and it's more serious than that, they probably will utilize other drugs and they will probably work well for your son, one thigs for sure you have good instincts (Mom's usually do) you just hang in there and know it may take some time to get your son started on the right path but I have a very good feeling that you are very vigilent and concerned and you love him thats a big part of being ahead of the game to see that he gets the best care possible, So my first name is Billy my site name is I am here and just know that I am praying that things will move in a positive way for you, you need someone who's been through this and cares to just keep you focused on the fact that you are working and doing your best, I am here (along with a lot of other good caring compassionate people) if you ever need a friend who's been through a lot of this then I am here, I have been very close to Mya from ages 5 to just recently she comes to my house and visits, I've worked with helping her through schoolwork issues that have been so very hard for her, I am going to friend you and if you ever feel the need to talk to someone I will have friended you and you can click on your avitar and you can always talk with me and I am always willing to help in any way that I possibly can. Please take good care and remember you're a mom trying her best to see that your sons gets through this difficult time in his life, believe me that says a lot!
Hi there dlittle1mom, I have a son who just turned 18 and a daughter 15, both with adhd and worse of all odd. I dont want to be too pesimistic but your son is only 4... It is going to be hard for the next 14+ years. If I could go back in time I would not spoil them at all ever(though thats what you want to do), I would have consequences for the bad behavior... every time. I dont think medicine is going to solve his issues, except for the adhd. You should read as much as you can about odd. If he is actually odd you are in for years of shock. You will blame yourself, your family could very well fall apart(because of him), especially if there are sibblings. Im talking from experience here. I really dont want to bring you down little mom. Have structure like crazy for him... let him know the punishment "if you do this, then I'll do that" and always follow through. Always let him know that he's your pride and joy and loved. He will have enough non acceptance from the world.
I truly believe in adderral or ritalin along with an antidepressant for treatment. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 years old. I recently had to stop working due to a mental breakdown and had to go to a county doctor for help. I've been having to resort to a huge sort of antidepressants along with sleep aids. I feel like I am taking way too much medication for treatment but the county Psychiatrist and the free clinic does not believe in prescribing Ritalin or Adderral. I suffer from depression and sleep disorder as well as unwanted outburst of anger. I only wish I could afford my private doctor again so i could go back to only two medications. So, for me a combination of Ritalin or Adderral and an antidepressant for a successful prognoses. Good luck!
Hi dlittle1mom, This answer is coming in a little old, but I just wanted to say that my son was dx (ADHD) at 5 years old. We had him treated and checked by every specialist you can think of. Eventually we settled on Adderall XR 20 mg for school because he couldn't focus, and Ritalin for anything outside of school. He took Risperidone .75 mg for the tantrums. I'm happy to say that now he is 10 and doing great. We are off all stimulants and use the Risperidone on occasion. You can get there too, grab on tight to hope, and prayer never hurts.
i agree with Concentra. In my generation it was a quick fix. Back in the 60's they didnt know what they know now. My mother in an attempt to lose weight from my brothers birth a year earlier was prescribed a potent diet pill called biphetamine. This seriously complicated her pregnancy of me. I was told the other 6 she had were not so bad. Once again she got pregnant after me and this one my younger brother was wracked with health problems.he soon dies after birth. anyway. i took a was given a cocktail of ritalin and an anti depressant which worked out quite well. the ritalin i guaranty you will calm him down and a anti depressant will help him focus. I just recently gave up adderrall and cymbalta at age of 50 for Conentra. it has no amphetamine in it at all which is a good thing.I wish it had been around sooner. i no longer work so i have no health insurance and dont really need to concentrate as much. good health to your baby,i will light a candle at my church.
- Tenex Information for Consumers
- Tenex Information for Healthcare Professionals (includes dosage details)
- Side Effects of Tenex (detailed)
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