I have been diagnosed as having bipolar 2, ptsd, and gad. My ptsd is from a very rough childhood and adolescence. I have always had night terrors but lately they are every night without fail and its affecting my daily life. My anxiety is through the roof and days like today I'm barely functioning because I can't shake the fear. I currently take lexapro 20mg daily, seroquel 200mg at night and klonopin 1mg one to two times daily as needed. I really don't want to add any more medications but, I need to function. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated!!
While Minipress no longer provides me with any real relief, it did at one point when I was getting flashbacks on a regular basis, making life hard to even function at all. I almost had to check into a hospital. After being prescribed the Minipress, all of the ptsd symptoms had stopped, and it was like magic! The only side effect that I experienced was a sudden drop in blood pressure if I stood up to quickly, but that really only happens if you're taking a large dose.
After getting my feet put back onto the ground, I was able to be rational enough to see a therapist who specialized in trauma. Over the course of a year, I had seen some remarkable results. My depression, anxiety, and everything was starting to evaporate! It really was amazing, and my health insurance covered it all.
Back in 2010 I became unemployed due to company restructuring (what I was told anyways... ). Now, with a combination of time, a mortgage, no health insurance due to my classification of being "high risk", two young boys that need to be cared for, and an attack from a pitbull from an owner who also has no money at all. Due to this fact, no layer will represent me in court in order to try to get the thousands of dollars that I currently owe reimbursed by the... yah, ... I have some very choice words for that man... Instead, I have the pleasure of getting regular phone calls asking for my money, money that I simply don't have. Anyways, all the progress that had been made has now been unravelled. The Minipress also as of late has little to no effect on me. With enough time and pressure most people will crack a bit, however with me, due to my collection of conditions, I now have troubles seeing the point in life altogether.
My kids at one point was the primary source of happiness, they however no longer are. This is not due to me not loving them, but due to the fact that I really feel like the world is caving in on me. It's just the combo of pressure, pain (all the time), and time. I have troubles seeing any future that isn't anything but a wasteland. Any hope that I do get has always been stomped on like a glass bowl. I don't mean to !%@#%#@%, but I guess that I am also looking for some advise as well.
I am having troubles keeping it together, especially due to not only the ptsd and flashbacks, anxiety (general + panic), depression, the kind that is typical of ptsd, sad, narcolepsy intensified due to the medications (fell asleep at one point with my face completely submerged in a bowl of corn flakes... I'm not sure how my wife would have explained that one), also a defense mechanism that will also put me to sleep if talking about unpleasant things (I'm writing a book about my life with ptsd, and the biggest challenge that I've had to face is simply staying awake while writing the book, and even now while writing this response I keep on nodding off!), a memory that to this very day will delete any event that is emotionally negative (not only do I have no memory of anything from birth to fifth or sixth grade (outside of a couple family vacations), thanksgiving a couple years back was completely deleted from my memory. The day after I had to ask my wife what had happened. Between my collection of various mental issues, I also have chronic pain. It makes the thought of living harder and harder... ankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk (see, just fell asleep right there, normally I'd delete the repeated k, but this serves as an example of what I was just talking about)
Lets try this again... There is however no way that I would kill myself for the simple reason that I refuse to continue the cycle that would only be carried on, especially with the two boys of mine being only 4 and 7 years old. Life has been brutal and hard as of late, and while the minipress very well might be of some help to you, if anyone has any other suggestions, I would as well love to hear them!!
Key28, I also have PTSD caused by multiple traumas in childhood and my teenage years. I have never been good at sleeping through the night and suffered severely from night terrors for a few years. I have been on too many different meds to list here and I really don't think that any of them helped lessen the night terrors until I, like the poster above, went to a therapist who specialized in trauma. I participated in what was called a reconciliation group and also had individual sessions with the therapist. I had to work through a lot of trust issues, extremely painful memories (I also had flashbacks) and unrealistic fears and panic. It was a mentally draining and emotionally exhausting process, and while I was in it I thought it was only making things worse but ultimately it was one of the best experiences in my life. I learned many tools to stay grounded, in the moment and realize that what happened to me then was past history and reliving it in victim mode was not an option.
When I started living in the solution and not dwelling on the past events the night terrors began to fade. I had to remember I was no longer a victim, now I was a survivor on my way to becoming a "thriver." The "thriver" not only stops defining him/her self by the trauma(s) but also begins to see how he/she can help others by sharing their experience(s) and teaching others survivor/thrivership. This gives new meaning to the experience(s). They are no longer horrible episodes that fill us with fear,shame, guilt and remorse; now they are merely obstacles in life that we have overcome and used as building blocks to transform into strong, compassionate, caring and useful human beings. I never thought I would say this but I consider my traumas today to be assets that helped make me the person that I am and that person is pretty damn good! Not perfect, mind you, but pretty damn good!
Suggestions that may or may not work for you: Before sleeping--
Go over your day and visualize at least 2 things that went your way or that you are happy about and give yourself credit for your accomplishments(only do this daily, do not allow yourself to go back multiple days, weeks, months or years!). Make sure you remind yourself that your sleep space is comfortable and safe. Try a little meditation or prayer or use a mantra that goes something like this (in your own words): "Tonight I will have restful, peaceful sleep. The demons of the past can no longer hurt me and will not disturb my dreams. Today I am a survivor, a strong and worthwhile person. That is who I will allow to thrive in my dreamscape." It may sound corny, but if you memorize your mantra and repeat it quietly in your mind until you fall asleep, it may help. Try to be as active as possible during the day, avoid daytime sleep so you are ready for good sleep at night.
I probably know more if I think about it but see if any of that helps you first. I cannot emphasize enough though, how important it is to seek out a good program/therapist that specializes in trauma. The right meds are important too so use all these tools together and hopefully you will soon overcome your fears and enjoy the peace of "thrivership!" I really hope I have been of some help to you, please keep in touch and let me know how it's going! Wishing you all the best, Lisa Z.
My psychiatrist told me that it is necessary to feel safe where you live. It has a big impact on our physical, emotional, social and spiritual balance. I don't know if this has anything to do with your situation or not. It certainly does mine.
I want you to know I understand and respect what your asking. The night tremors are not my friends. I've been blessed to have just a few of them the last few months.
It's my opinion that you need to have a chat with your Doc asap! Why should you go on like this when it's ruining the quality of your life? You sound miserable, key28. If you need medications to relieve the symptoms your having, then it might be a good idea to make a med adjustment. Most people in our shoes, given our conditions, do need meds.
I've tried searching for meds for my conditions that didn't have the side affects, but they didn't help. We're all so different.
You'll find your magic combination.
If you have to work away from home with other people, it's difficult to try out meds because they affect your chemistry, and when that happens, you're not yourself. (No kidding, huh?) I had to go to a hospital and have my behavior monitored to try to find a med that fit me. It worked. It took some time in the hospital to find out what was effective.
It seems like changing meds is every day life. I'm delighted we have choices of what we can take and not take. Aren't you?
Stay with us. There are people who are well versed on this site. Their exceedingly helpful and knowledgeable.
I wish we could have more conversation, but this is a Direct Question and I only have one shot.
I pray you are healthy and happier,
I have had night terrors first when I was a kid, & as an adult and still do occassionally.. I have sorta handled it by myself. Not sure when I started to be able to do that or if I read about it somewhere. Okay this is what helped me as a child. 1st I had to realise that they couldnt kill me. Something or someone was always running after me or shooting me but I didnt die & the night terror continued until I woke myself up or woke up because I was afraid and couldnt get back to sleep, but knowing I wouldnt die from it gave me a sense of power over the terrors, I began to fight back & do whatever it took to save myself, thus kill who or what was running after me. That is when I began to take control of this.. I still have them but NOW I can continue with the terror until the end or wake myself up. A friend of mine said to watch comedies not violent movies, but what does she know, right?
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