I lost everything! My husband turned into someone I didn't know at all after a long amazing relationship! He became emotionally, verbally, and even financially abusive after I got sick. Before that we were best friends, workout partners, loved each other and treated each other with respect. We loved spending time together as a family, especially at the cottage! We spent every weekend there in the summer. We had our dream home built for us and the kids but after I got sick after my youngest son was born everything changed pretty qquickly. I had so much pain that I could not work and was unable to do a lot of the household chores. Walking up and down the stairs was excruciating! Like I said he became very abusive verbally, emotionally, and financially. One night after he had a couple glasses of wine he told me about a fantasy he had. He wished every day while daydreaming at work that I would get hit by a bus and die. Eventually the inevitable happened and a family "friend" who was cheating on her husband and planning on leaving him (my husbands best friend) swooped in and you know the rest. He made me leave our home and moved her in. They are now married and living happily ever after in the house we had built for our family. I lost everything because I was too devastated to go to court for the divorce and face him/them. I am now on disability living cheque to cheque in a rental. I literally lost EVERYTHING!!! We were together for 16 yrs. I just can't move on... we have been apart for almost 6 yrs now. The first 3 yrs. I dated NO ONE. Didn't go for coffee, nothing. After the 3 yr. mark I decided to try and had a few short term relationships that didn't feel comfortable so I stopped trying and now I've been alone/celibate for another 3 yrs!!! I honestly haven't been attracted to anyone or 'clicked' with anyone. I am a young 44, getting back into shape and weightlifting again. Eating gluten free has really helped me along the way. I feel much better and energized. My depression is almost non- existant compared to before and the diet has helped with inflammation and pain and also stomach/digestive issues. So I feel pretty great compared to where I was before but I am very lonely. I still miss my ex and really miss what we had together before my illness :(.
I'm doing everything I can to move on and better myself. Just can't seem to let go and perhaps that is exactly what I need to do to be able to actually let someone in. Just don't know how (or I guess I would have by now lol)
Anyone else been thru this and have any ideas for me??? I would appreciate any input. Thanx for reading if you made it to the end!
Cher :)