Hello Shnard - I hope you are able to get some enjoyment out of life. Even with pain... I have been able to convince myself that it won't kill me. It doesn't matter to me that I am in pain... it matters to me how I act on it. I do take medication and where a fentanyl patch. I also have an implant in my spine "neuromodulator stimulator" which helps tremendously and helps me sleep through the night... especially on my back.
It is just there and I don't dwell on it. I cannot fix it but I can try different methods to see what works and what doesn't. "Hanging" in a heated swimming pool feels FABULOUS to my back. That decompresses the spine. Gel packs are a given and so are heating pads. I go back and forth with those. Staying active helps my mental outlook, too. I went back to work recently and that just feels wonderful. I can work in pain...
Meditation is another wonderful tool. That clears out the cobwebs in my brain also. Lots of things to ponder here. I want you to know that you do not have to suffer silently... that is what is so great about this community. We all deal with pain and we all have our various methods and techniques to cope with it. I do hope that you will find what helps you the most. Don't forget about about physical therapy or "healing" sessions with specialists or "spiritualists".
Be well and take good care of you.
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