... when I was 15 and I've never gotten to talk to another person like me so if anyone would care to talk with about us then please feel free to respond
I had my first hallucination last week-end and it was a long week-end for me and my family. Eight years ago I was diagnosed bi-polar but my insurance only limited me to 2 visits per year w/ therapist so I just didn't go. My mom passed away December 13th of 2011. Very recent. The doctors think that was the big trigger for me. During most of my hallucinations, I was blacked out and don't remember doing the things that I did. I was hallucinating that there was a couple here that was trying to get me in trouble and drive me crazy. I thought they were running from room to room and hiding under the beds. I was flipping mattresses and getting really mad, my husband and kids told me. I was smoking imaginary cigarettes too. I'm sure there is a lot more to it because it went on for two days before my oldest son called the ambulance and told them I need help. I went to the hospital where I received the best care possible. Attended group therapy sessions and learned a lot. I just got out of the hospital yesterday and it's really weird because I feel like I returned home a completely different person. So I'm going to just talk it out with whoever can listen, try not to let the shame I feel get in the way of therapy and healing, and get on with my life. Hopefully I will be able to do that soon. I want to be free of this, but I know it's a illness and you have to take medication just like with any illness. I just hope the medicine keeps working like it has. Then, maybe, I can start working with children again as a day care provider. Caleb won't be little forever. He's already 9 yrs. old and already checking his own sugar. He's my brave little man. I also have a 15 year old son, Jacob. Very smart and handsome too. My oldest son is Zack. He's 18 turning 19 next month already and he graduates this year and will be leaving for boot camp July 9th. (This summer won't be the same without him). Well, that is some information on me and my family and when my hallucinations started. My husband has told me he was keeping an eye on me and going to take care of me. I'm scared, but I trust him.
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