... by family because they don't know how to interact w/ me as a human being and not a disability w/ constant yelling & labeling?
Hello Steph. You don't sound stiff at all. You have been asking questions and looking for support. I don't recall if I said this before, but there is nothing wrong with gaining distance, assuming you are an adult, while staying away as you rebuild yourself.
You know you want confidence and respect. You can get that that much better from those who see you as you without the baggage. I did that for about ten years. Sure at first it was sad. Funny thing, after ten years I had done a lot of therapy, found myself and ended up marrying a wonderful man. Sure I was in my thirties, but we have been married almost 30 years. It never would have happened if I kept trying to get approval from people who don't change. Remember, you were born there. Would you have chosen them? Besides, you have developed great strength just waiting to bust out. You can be well on your way to real happiness. Friends helped me more than anything. They just took me as I was. Friends don't knock you down. And you can change your mind. I did. They stayed the same.
Stay with therapy. Try new things, only you know it is new, right? Volunteer for something you enjoy. Kids need to read, they accept you unconditionally. Kids need mentors. Or adults need help when disabled. Or a non profit would sure appreciate someone with their fund raisers. Use your talents. Everyone has them.
Since you feel left out, they said I was the black sheep and I never did anything wrong. Real nerd in high school. My response when twenty was to shut them out. A therapist can help you figure out your best idea and then will support you through it. We will be here as well. And i am suggesting one path. you will find others. to get healthy is the goal. You can find your happiness. Karen
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