I have GAD OCD MDD severe panic disorder with agoraphobia. I'm disabled. Have had panic my whole life, many medications. 3 years ago my parents both unexpectedly died 7 months apart. I ended up homeless, estranged from all my family, my kids and I was terrified to go to the doctor. I withdrew from all my medication. Effexor 600 mg day klonopin 4 times a day plus 2 if needed. Risperadol ambien and trazodone. I thought I was going to die. I thought I had a stroke, but because my agoraphobia, I couldn't get to a dr. Now 3 years later, I'm in my home, just got to a dr last week, and got medication. The same ones.. I can't bring myself to start it again. I know I need them, but the fear is so intense. I am very iscolated. I don't see my family unless they are taking care of my trust funds. I don't let them in my house though. My daughter is 23 has her son and isn't good with me. I'm pretty alone. I have a fiancé and he's amazing, but he can't do it for me. I don't do therapy anymore and never did do well with it. Advice on how to do this? I've read a lot of websites, but nothing to really help this situation. I have nightmares from this withdrawal. The medication actually worked the best I have had. I've tried everything I know