So let me first start off by saying, I am a 19 year old male, healthy and in a regular teen age; freshly out of high school life style, BUT my mind isn't. Some background info is; my grandma, dad, older sister and brother have pretty bad anxiety. I know this, because I have talked to my brother and sister about it; and I have saw the pills my grandma and dad takes for it. I started noticing this all in early stages when I was about 16 and I got my first girlfriend. Well, I quickly noticed, it was hard for me to trust, be ignored, or even see attention shown to other people instead of myself. The girl didn't really give a reason for me to not trust her or anything, it was like I didn't even trust her before I knew what she even looked like. I'm sorry but this will probably be a really long paragraph, but that's because I want to give all the info and get a good response; because I need the help. Well anyways, that relationship lasted for about 2 years and we broke up which is besides the point but it was basically hell. Worrying 24/7, freaking out if I didn't get a text after a while and just constant mind games with myself. Well maybe I can shorten a lot of what I was going to say up. Anyways, I moved back to where we moved from in the first place to graduation, which it was the same area but a different school. My whole high school years I felt worrying getting worse and worse; so I went to the doctor and she diagnosis me with situational anxiety and prescribed me a medicine generic to "Lexapro", this was before the panic attacks. My mom being a overprotective mom, read up on it and saw how if you don't really have depression; lexapro isn't really a go to anxiety medicine. Which I have no idea, I didn't read up on it, I just listened to my mom. The doctor even said it would take 6 weeks to get into my system which I needed it then, it made me have anxiety even thinking about having to wait that dang long! So anyways, getting out of high school I required something new, which I kind of always had but it's so incredibly hard to explain but I'm going to try my best. I have had panic attacks before and I have had what I call "my freakouts" or what my new girlfriend I have(which I been dating for 8 months and she understands my problem) "my episodes". So as I started getting older, I always felt like I have just something else in my mind, like this is going to sound weird but another brain. Anyways back to explaining it more in an example way, I get flared up so easily now and get mad or go into a panic'y stage that I can't control at all. Used to I could hold back the other "brain" inside of me that wants to say what it wants; but now its like it just says it or freakouts out. Whats really weird is after my "episode" or a panic'y situation I go into a dream like stage; where I'm confused and everything I just said is a blur and it legit feels like I'm in a dream. It doesn't feel like me anymore when I have one of the freakouts and I feel like I didn't say any of that it just happened.I'm so incredibly confused on what is this, but I know I need help because I can't control these episodes at all anymore. Its like I have no control.