anything. I have noticed I get a lot more anxious around any kind of holiday.I feel like no matter what I plan, its just not going to be good enough, so I isolate. Know that is not good, nor the answer to my problem, but have been sick with Crohns, etc for so long I just feel like I am letting everyone down. If, when I isolate, at least the only one I am letting down is myself, as the festivities will go on, with or without me. Does any one understand this??
Anxiety - Hi all, hope you are enjoying the 4th. Does anyone else feel sad, like they can't?
Yes I do. And I did the same thing for many many years. And I can tell you that the worst person to let down is yourself. I don't think you let people down even tho you might feel like this. I used to think that too, until I after many years asked a few people I trusted if I had let them down. It was all in my head. Hope you get better, because it is horrible to feel like this!
Yes I understand how you feel too ChelleKay
Holidays are very hard emotionally and I tend to expect the worse to happen and for me to screw up somehow and I do because I am so anxious about it. I don't have Crohns but I do have IBS and a friend with Crohns. Anxiety is the worst thing for both of them so somehow I need to stop myself from getting so worried about everything to do with a holiday.
I have done the isolating thing too but then everyone worries about me so that really wasn't the answer either.
Have you talked to your Crohns doctor to see what he/she suggests? It can't hurt to ask and maybe there is an answer for you.
Take care and Happy Independence day
Hello Chellekay. I do understand what you are saying as I am very isolated with my disease. Being immuno suppressed means if someone has a sniffle I can't see them. I do feel sad at holidays. But I also feel sad in any other day. For me a holiday marks it better in my mind rather than trying to figure out what day was the most recent sad day. That is all.
We have expectations from childhood. They are really day dreams as life doesn't go as planned. Some were good and some were not. The real thing we miss when dealing with our private pain is the joy and happy chance that something new or interesting can happen with the group. We cheat ourselves from a rich experience. Falling into the trap of less than perfect is our perception, not someone else's. after all we are adults now, not kids being told to quiet down.
Each of you deserve the best and the respect you give to others. I mean, really, are there people who tell you to go away, or just nosy friends and relatives who want to know all about you so they can tell you the story about someone else? They do get bored quickly enough. Then go join a conversation or play cards or enjoy the summer weather. It is all in your hands. You aren't worthless as that is depression speaking, not you. You are not a klutz, as that is anxiety speaking about something that hasn't happened. You are a person with problems just as everyone else in that group. You might even hear someone talk about things you can share or help. You might even be thanked for coming and how happy they are to see you again. You won't know by looking out a window wishing. There are no heroes on white horses. There is your spunk and desire to change things. They will stop asking. They hurt thinking you don't like them. You hurt thinking they don't like you. Does this make any kind of sense?
Don't miss the next get to gather. Maybe it will be boring. Change of pace isn't it? Karen, at home, with dog and husband, also wishing for the good old days and happy that I still have days.
I totally understand! I've avoided many social situations because if pain and depression. Even planning to get together gives me stress and anxiety then when the actual event arrives, I usually don't want to go or find an excuse to back out. I do some things because of my kids but not as much as I should. I get easily irritated, cranky - would rather stay home many times! This website has helped me a lot, thanks to everyone for making me feel not so isolated because my family and friends dont understand! Thank you for expressing yourself on here! Christmas is my worst times - I watch my kids open gifts then go back to bed most of the day, I get so depressed. Why? Maybe this year will be different?'
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