Background: I've been on multiple benzos for almost 3 years, never going more than 3 months without any. I was up to 8-12 mg's of Xanax a day (was rx'd 4 mg/day, but escalated after a year)... Switched to Clonopin, and now am on Ativan. I am rx'd 2mgs twice a day, but after 6 months, this isn't working. I also have agoraphobia (which I didn't always have) that makes it VERY hard to even leave my front door... In order to leave the house, I have to take at least 4 mgs of Ativan at once. I've told my psychiatrist this, but he doesn't want to keep upping my dosage... Neither do I. The other day the anxiety and agoraphobia were so bad I had to take 8 mgs of Ativan in order to simply go to the grocery store. And no, it didn't make me loopy, tired, and it didn't leave me feeling "high". I'm just stuck... I shouldn't have to take 8 mgs... That would make most people pass out. And I can't take Xanax, as I was previously addicted to it. And I can't take any SSRI's, as everytime I've been on them, I've attempted suicide, and only when I was on them. I'm on Adderall XL 15 mg, once a day for ADD and depression, but it isn't helping. I don't know what's worse-- the depression, the anxiety mixed with agoraphobia, or being medication resistant. Any hope for me?! Thanks.