so i have a husband who doesnt understand a dam thing about my mental health issues, depression, panic attacks and anxiety, i was doing great then he has to tell me how he feels hes losing me to this, and that all i do is go on the computer to my support group, or to my church friends. i do this cause i dont want to push him away, ive also been asking him to read up on my illness, cause its real. sometimes i wonder, am i selfish for expecting him not to dump unnecessary garbage on me while im still trying to get out of this whole im in, with my depression and anxiety and panic, or is it selfish of him to know im going thru this yet expect me to be the same. i also talked to him and told him im thinking about getting into kahi mohala, a behavioral help resident treatment center, or queens behavioral health, that way im around the rite people who know how to support me, and that way at the same time i can be put on medication for my disorders. i also came to the conclusion that if hes gonna continue to not read on it and understand that i dont need the added stress , that for my mental sake, i will have to leave for a bit. has anyone ever gone thru this, tonite he pushed me backwards i feel, started to get a bad panic attack and took a double dose, making it 1mg of my xanax, what to do ?
Rather feel sorry for your situation and the additional stress, panic attacks that you have, maybe you should consult a specialist (doc) & request your husband to accompany you so that he is able to understand your condition, because the doc would be advice best & perhaps he (your hubby) would be able to understand your condition.
Please do not overdose on xanax, its not a good idea to give up without trying to salvage a hopeless situation, you shall be in my prayers, please take care.
Your hubby needs to learn as much as he can about your illness!! He is being selfish and immature in my opinion. He really needs to get on the computer and read up on what you are suffering from!!
You are most certainly NOT selfish for wanting to be around ppl suffering the same thing as you do. That's just natural !!
Maybe get him involved, as Rajive suggested? Have him go to your doc appointment with you? Is he willing to do that for you? I hope so!!
Best wishes gurl,
Hello helpmehawaii. I think that if anything, your husband needs to understand that you've an illness. Might not be physical, and thats a major problem when it comes to mentall illness. It often doesn't show itself. I mean it does, some people eat, put on weight, others lose weight, become thin. You answered one of your questions, medication. Xanax is not going to help you in regards to the depression, so theres a big opening for you. Once on the right anti-depressant, things will always most certainly begin to look better, more positive to say the least. You'll be out of that black hole. You'll feel so much better, and then, you'll beable to handle, say your husband dumping his problems issues on you. It sounds simple enough and often, its just as it is... simple. You might download from this site via the printer, some articles on anxiety, panic disorders.
Or pick some up from drs offices, clinics, ask himt o just glance at them. Try and keep talking to each other, because thats important. Talk about sports, tv shows, anything but keep talking, try not an clamp up. well, its still very early here, in the south eastern united states (6am) and time to make a second pot of coffee. I suffer (thats the word) from insomnia. More often than not, always up and about. Sad to say! Ha! could be worse, that my secret along with patience. Theres always that tomorrow. And thats whats kept me in the game, the game of life. best wishes to you helpmehawaii, and if I am late in responding to a thread or comment by hours and yes days, don't take it personal, I'm very tardy, lateness is my achilles heel.
Hi help me,
I feel for you with what you are going through at the moment,dealing with anxiety,panic attacks and depression is so hard but when you dont have the support at home,its even harder! Your hubby needs to educate himself on what you are going through,although saying that,mine is the same when it comes to my anxiety and all that comes with it,i've tried to get him to read up on it with me,even gave him leaflets to read up on that my therapist gave me to show him,but they were left on the table for over a week til i got angry and burned them in the fire after an argument he brought up about me not leaving the house.It's been 2years since i was diagnosed and he still has'nt a clue what i'm going through or how to "cope"with me when i'm "like that".
Its gone to the stage now where he will just walk out of the house and drive off in his van,rather than help me through it! He refuses to see its a problem and just brushes it off by telling me to take my pill's.
I can so relate to you on this one hun,i'm going through hell at the mo,and i feel so alone,i have'nt been on site much becoz of my lowness but i came across your post once again and i needed to answer it to let you know there are men out there who will read up on things when they have to and give support but ones like ours just dont know how to deal with it,and mine's idea is to let me get on with it!! Its a selfish way to deal with things and i'm left wondering would i be best if i was alone,i have a son who's nearly 3 and we're supposed to be getting married in march,yet i have my doubts on that!
I did'nt mean to make this answer about me,I'm usually private with my situations but i wanted to answer your post honestly,I've added you to my friends so if you want to post me privately,i would more than willingly speak to you more on this!
Helpmehawii, I do feel your husband not understanding Is kind of this way of coping with your illness. Although it doesn't make sense to us women cause women are more find out the problem and nurture it kind of people. Men are more oh there's a problem get out the tools or whatever and fix it so I don't have to worry later. Some of them are so afraid when it comes to emotion problems or medical problems since they can't fix it with tools or know how to help they try to ignore that its there and hope since the emotional part of the relationship a lot of times is the womens understanding of the relationship that you will handle it and everything will be all fine. Its just the way that their wired. When your trying to talk to your husband try not to tell him you need to understand or why don't you try to help me or why do you just excpect me to deal with this.
Try a new approach when no other convversation is going on let him know honey I realize this isn't something that neither of us can fix but with you by my side I know we can get through this I'm so glad you are here. this is not your fault or mine but if you stand by me I know we can get back to normal. I know I may smetimes need more help than you can provide so I try to keep your anxiety down so we both aren't going out of our minds with stress. I love you to much for that. But if you think I'm pushing you out of the situation I'm not I would me be more than happy to talk to you about it more cause as my partner I know you are always here for me. I just want to sometimes give you a break so I goto the computer trying to save you grief. Let try together. Try that I hope it helps did for my husband let him help fix it and try not to lay blame on each other for faults or lack of understanding he is prob having anxiety as well just they try not to show it as a mans job to be the rock you lean on mat be afraid f that rock crumbling and the whole thing falling apart. Y/f jaime so for typos and rambling 8;30 am here I'm not a mrning person
Hi helpme, I was going to post almost the same post. Reading these post have helped me some. In the beginning of my melt down, my wife was very supportive. I evolved her in my treatment plan, she would go to some of my doctors visit's. She never really did any reading on Bipolar, but remained supportive for about 2 years. When I lost my sex drive I could still function on Viagra. Then I lost that, I lost all desire for sex, and anything else. She started becoming very distant towards me. She has started staying away from the house as much as possible. We have a lot of good friends she, drinks beer and smokes pot, that what we call the club house,everyone gathers over there. Comes home after I have gone to sleep. Now she is actual hostile against me. I haven't worked in over 3 years now. I am no longer bringing in the big money. She is spending like there is no tomorrow.
last month I had to pay $3,700 to a doctor for her to have some moles taken off her back. 2 days ago as she was walking out the door she informed me that She and 3 of her girl friends (neighbors) were going to Hawaii for 2 weeks. She does not want hear anything From me about my disease. She has come home drink a few times and just screamed at me calling me names making fun of me being on this computer so much. I could say more but, I DID NOT mean to hi-jack your post, got a little cared away sorry. Hey they could stay with you in Hawaii LOL I just wanted you to know you are not alone. This disease we have is a very lonely disease, no one understands it and more so they do not want to hear about it. I am doing my very best to get well,and you are too. I don't guess our spouses to ever understand! My flair up came over night. I am not the man she marred. I can not hold that against that. On the other hand we did not choose to be this way! I know how much it hurts you for your husband not to understand and not wanting to understand. I am alone here most of the time and that really hurts. I only wish I had a better answer for you. Take care Dave
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