This is my quick history info. I was on h. for about 5 years, clean for 8 years. Started on loratabs, then went to suboxone for w/draw off loratabs. Had not heard of suboxone at the time and had no idea 2 years later I would still be on the subs.
Then in Feb. I started back on h. - could not get any sub, and said to myself, I will just do h. until I get the sub. back... Well, now at the end of April, I'm still on h. I am killing my family financially, (80-100 a day) killing myself emotionally by constantly hiding this secret. I desperately need to quit NOW. Not later, when I am able to get into a detox program, but NOW.
I have only four 8mg. of subs and wonder if I can kick. I am scared to death - start having anxiety where I feel like I can't breath. But I have to do this, I have to do this. I am able to get more subs if needed, but really really would like to do the subs to get off the h. but not enough subs to where I then have to w/draw again. Is that possible?? I know its possible... is it do-able, I have no idea. I am a BIG BIG wimp when it comes to going thru withdraw.
I am planning on waiting til I start feeling sick, take 4mg. and see how I feel. I am suppose to work this week and have no idea how I will feel - like I said, the least amount of subs possible - I want to not be dependent upon any drug. I want so much to be normal with out having to take a damn pill every day.
I see how many others have been successful by using the support of this forum. Thank you all for being here.