So, I am a 20 year old male studying Actuarial Science. As you can imagine, I have some pretty difficult examinations to take. I've also struggled with depression and anxiety for the majority of my high school and all of my college career, and so that makes things hard. Right now, I'm prescribed 75 mg Wellbutrin 2x daily (150 total). It works, but I still struggle a lot with focusing. I can usually only study for about twenty minutes until I feel like I'm going to explode. So I'll study for about twenty minutes, do something else, then something else.. Until it's about an hour and a half later and I feel I can put my brain toward studying again. (Sidenote: While I know that, because of the nature of this website, it's pretty unlikely for anyone to chime in 'just suck it up and study', I still feel like I have to say that that's pretty much impossible for me and if that's all you have to say then please keep your reply to yourself). I'm a pretty smart guy, and so I've been able to skimp by on that for my easier classes, but it's killing me in my harder classes where two or more hours of studying per day is expected. The Wellbutrin doesn't change my focus level even if the dose is doubled. It didn't change anything, in fact.
So that's my background. Now here's my question; expanded.
A couple weeks ago I had a particularly important exam and the stress of it was keeping me more focused than usual but still well below what a 'normal' person should be able to do.
A friend of mine is prescribed 20 mg Adderall XR and gave me two; told me 'take one when you wake up and one four hours later.' So I did, and I was expecting to feel hyperfocused and jittery and on top of the world, because that's what I've read happens at similar doses to some people.
Instead, the exact opposite happened. I took the two pills at 7 A.M and 11:30 A.M. I could definitely feel the adderall working, but if anything it made me feel in control. If I had to put the feeling into one word it would have to be 'centered.' The adderall didn't hyperfocus me, but instead subtly removed distractions from my thought process and allowed me to focus on one thing at a time. I could still switch tasks easily, but I got to choose when to switch, my brain didn't make that choice for me like it usually does. I was also surprised that instead of feeling jittery and anxious, I felt a sort of calmness. I was able to prioritize things that I had to do, and because of that, I wasn't thinking about the ten things I had to do at the same time, and so as a result I was less stressed and less anxious. I was able to slowly whittle away at my to do list at what I think is a normal, not superhuman, pace until it was done and I felt confident about the material on the test. After all my work was done, I decided to go to dinner with my friends. Instead of zoning out and staring off into space like I normally do during conversations, I was actually engaged. I wasn't manic or anything (yes, I am aware what being manic feels like.) I just felt more present in the convo and able to contribute more. Words also came out much easier, because like I said before, I was able to control my brain.
So that's my story. After that experience, I'm wondering if I have latent ADD and when it manifested, I became anxious and depressed because I couldn't get stuff done and knew I could be better. The adderall helped me feel like myself, in my opinion.
So, do you think I have fair reason to get a prescription?
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist a week from Friday (April 3rd) to discuss all of this and talk about options, but I don't want to come off as 'drug seeking'. Of course, I really would like to be written a prescription for adderall because I feel it really helped me in a lot of ways, but I'm not sure I can ask without it sounding fishy. Do you think if I lead with that story and the effects he might be more inclined to take me seriously? It's also worth noting that he doesn't care I took someone else's pills. I've told him something similar once before and basically got a 'well don't do that again but how did they make you feel?' kinda thing.