... tramadol ER for 7 years and kept abusing them (crushing up so the ER part would be disabled; thus getting all of the meds in a rush) anyways, I finally decided enough was enough and went in to a detox center after significantly weaning myself down first. I got out and went to visit my mother for a week (lives at the beach and it seemed like a great place to go before returning to reality) Problem is: she is terminal and has more drugs than a pharmacy: morphine pump in her, but also oxy's, fentanyl, duragesic patches, etc etc. She gave me a bottle of methadone 'just in case' I had any withdrawal symptoms. I just couldn't make myself go to a clinic every day. I am a single mom of three with a full time job. So here is the immediate problem: I have one left. I made an appt with a subox dr yesterday, but he cannot see me until aug 5th. Guys, I cannot go through withdrawal: besides the regular withdrawal crap people go through, I am bipolar and the depression that kicks in is a killer. I tried last week to stop the methadone and had to call the suicide hotline. I have one bottle of tramadol 200 mg I could get filled today in order to make it to the subox appt, but I completely understand that is the last thing I should do. Can anyone please help me. Please don't condemn me: I know I have made some horrible choices. But I am trying. thanks for any advice at all. peace to all