I am ready, and this is ricidulous. I have had an affinity for nacrotics since a young age. I remember my mother having to throw the bottle of codine down the sink when I was just 9 years old after I got my tonsils out. But since my husband and I moved to Colombia where you can get Vicodin by just asking the pharmacist have I realized my problem. Since I got the flu in late September I have been abusing codine and now Vicodin regularly. Anywhere from 4 to 8 tabs of 5/500 a day. I have a slew of reasons to justify my abuse but none of them are good enough anymore. So here I go, the next few weeks should be no fun. But I want to feel normal for christmas and enjoy watching my children and interacting with them without inference from this drug. I have taken all the meds in my family's homes, I have stolen from them and from myself. I have so much shame. I know I can do this but I know it will be difficult so I am looking for support from where ever I can find it. I plan on telling my husband when he returns from his business trip on Sunday. That also happens to be our son's fourth birthday party so I hope I don't feel too lousy and can enjoy it a little bit. At least it will keep me busy... God help me please.