My husband is addicted to Roxies (roxicodene). He stole many things out of my home and pawned them, wrecked 2 cars because he was high and driving (thank goodness that no one was hurt!), punched holes in the walls, lied and manipulated me to no end, and failed a drug test and lost his job. After he did all of these things, I kicked him out because I will not have all of this around my 3 year old son. After I kicked him out, he started shooting up. Not to long after he went into in-paitent rehab which I really pushed him into doing because he didn't have anywhere to live. Since he has been out, things were really good at first. He got his old job back making $19 an hour and everything was awesome. But now I am starting to question if he is using again. He has stayed in bed all day on a few different occasions, not showering as often, acting weird but not like before so I am not sure if it is drugs, and he has called off work on a few Mondays. I think that he is using on Fridays and calling in on Mondays incase his job gives him a drug test, he will be able to pass it. I just dont want to accuse him and push him to think "well she is accusing me of doing it already, might as well go ahead and do it." What should I do? I love him and want him to be in my life but if he is using I just can't do it. I have to put what is best for my son first, and if that means that I have to leave him, I will do what I have to do.
Find the loval Al Anon meeting and get yourself going to the meetings. You must have the support and the right information on how to live with an addict. Clean, sober, or not, we're still addicts. You will be amazed at how much information, help and support there is for people in a position like yours.
Based on what you say it certainly sounds like possible relapse, and please, after all the previous activity you documented here it wouldn't take much for him to relapse, if he ever really stopped, there should or would have been ongoing recovery meetings and efforts. $19.00/hr could work against just as much as for.
That's why it's called rehabilitation, as the habits we indulge for years in our addictions take years to remedy, and that's with a lot of hard work and will-power.
You really need to help yourself right now, do it for your child as well. Best to you, I really hope this will help steer you in the right direction. Blessings.
I'm hating to say it but he is showing some suspicious signs. Poor personal hygeine, staying in bed either sleeping off the effects of the drug or because of withdrawals, and missing work are not good signs, as you well know. You can be sure that his work notices that his absenses occur only after the weekend! Is he going to any support groups like Nar-anon? It is very difficult to fully rehabilitate once you are back to the normal pressures of life that cause a person to use without some kind of support. Nar-anon will assign him a sponsor to call when he gets the urge to use and this sponser can help him resist the drug's lure. If he is not going to Nar-anon meetings then perhaps it is time he goes so he remembers why he wanted to be clean in the first place. If he wont go then you should be going to the meetings for families so that you can learn to deal with him and not enable him in any way (not that I think you are but it is easier when you get support from folks who are or have been in your shoes) Once you are going to meetings, encourage him to go too. Relapse is not unusual in addiction. Being a part of a support group really helps a person keep on track with the goals of becoming clean. People there KNOW all the excuses and mind games that an addict uses on himself to justify the reasons for using. Sometimes an addict will think once he is clean that he can use "just a little bit, on occasion" without becoming a full blown addict again. In the majority of cases this is far from the truth. He has to really want to be clean himself and he will have to battle daily for the rest of his life and that can be very overwhelming in the beginning and that is why support is so necessary. Getting detoxed is just the beginning. He has to learn what factors precipitate his use and he has to learn to deal with these issues without drugs. Most users have to totally change their lifestyles and friends to stay clean. I would see if you can get him to go to the meetings just to re-enforce what he learned in rehab rather than accuse him of using again. Hopefully, he realizes he is backsliding and will go without a fuss and start getting some support that is so crucial! If he flat out refuses to do anything then it may be time to leave for the sake of your son. Perhaps that will wake him up again. Good Luck!
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