... I convinced the Dr. to up the dose to 80mg daily. Now I have one doctor prescribing 60 and another 80mg. Sometimes I even run short a couple days between fills. I don't know how it actually began and don't know what to do to stop it. I can't tell anyone I know, but if I keep this up it will likely do harm to my health. It probably already has. The truth is that my ADD is much worse now. Every area of my life is spinning out of control. I don't drink or do anything else unhealthy. I thought about telling my wife so she could keep me from getting more than one script and maybe even issue my doses daily or something. We have been married for twenty two years and are very happy and solid. She is a terrific person but I just can't bare the humiliation and shame. I also thought that I could find someone to act as an accountability friend or something. Maybe go to a local drug addict group or online. I want to stop this insanity. I really can't even begin to explain when, how or why my ritalin use started to change. When I took the 60mg daily, it actully did a great deal for my ADD. I was able to become self employed and make five time the income that I made previously as a Police Officer in a major Ohio city. I'v had my own business for 12 years and still make great income but everything seems so much harder now and I feel like it is going to implode due to this ritalin abuse. Some days I take up to 450mg. On average, I will stay up all night 4 or 5 different times per month. Just typing the words in this post is freaking me out. It never seemed quite as bad as it does right now. I feel like a crazy person as I type. Please help me.
Thank you, Gerry