He said he fells like an empty shell and can't find enjoyment in anything. I don't know if he realizes these things have a lot to do with him using. He has had a problem with perks for about 2 years now and recently started experimenting with heroin. I found this out along with the fact that he had cheated on me with at least two different women in the past. When I finally got to sit down to talk to him about him using and the cheating he ended it with me. Said he just didn't feel the same anymore and that I deserved more than he had to give right now. He said he loves me and can not fathom why he can't stick with putting the effort i deserve into the relationship. I really honestly believe all of this if the drug use talking, but I am afraid he doesn't see that. I love him very much and when he is sober we are very happy together. I know I need to give him space, I understand that. I also know I can not help him get clean, he must do it for himself. A lot of my close friends have recently fought with this same addiction, so I kind of already know. I guess I am just looking for some advice. I don't want to give up, but it seems like he already has...
5 years into the relationship, hes addicted to opiates and broke up with me. Should I give up?
Added 31 Oct 2011:
I guess really what I'm wondering is it the drugs talking? We were great when he was sober... he has only cheated and done bad things when he was using heavily.
Added 2 Nov 2011:
So we talked last night. He said he did not mean what he said about no longer being in love with me. I had been yelling not to give me any hope for us when he broke it off, he was just trying to say what he thought I wanted to hear. He said he still loves me just as much as he ever has and he still thinks I am the person he wants to be with for the rest of his life, but he wants to get clean for himself and by himself. He said he doesn't want to obligated by anyone else right now and that he plans on just doing things for himself for a while and doesn't think he is going to be able to treat me the way I deserve. Although he can't absolutely promise we will get back together or work out forever, he believes that is what he wants and thats what will happen once he gets his stuff together. He wants to make sure he is quitting for himself not for me or anyone else. He said he didn't want to say that he sees us being married one day (because marriage freaks me out), but thats basically what he sees. He just needs to time to himself to start feeling again and I have already been through enough he doesn't want to put me through his withdrawal again. Any input is appreciated. It felt genuine, but as we know addicts can be incredible liars...
first im sorry for your pain, opiate addiction is horrible, im on a taper off of percocet and its horrids, it ruins you. the one thing is not excusable is he cheated on you, not cool. just be a friend to help him get the addiction if he wants, but dont allow him back in your heart, hell do it again
It very likely is the drugs talking - they sap all the enjoyment of life out of you. You need to ask yourself if this is what you want for your life? He could get off the drugs and your lives would be great, but if he isn't 100% committed to doing that and to you - it could be a lifetime of heartache. I would give talking to him one more chance - is he willing to get off them? Can he accept that you see hope when he can't, and is he willing to do what it takes to get off them? it's going to be very hard for him to resist the temptation - but it can be done and has been done by many here on this site. Tough questions for both you and he to answer. My husband and I are celebrating our 30th anniversary in Nov - I can tell you that it's been a lot of ups and downs. Life is hard and so much harder when fighting addiction. Just make sure you know what you want for YOUR life. I wish you the best -
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