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Stopping Suboxone: what to expect; when to expect it; what to do?
  1. #1
    troublefunk is offline New Member
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    Apr 2012
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    Default Stopping Suboxone: what to expect; when to expect it; what to do?

    Well, I am an idiot. Let me just get that out of the way. I thought I had done my research, but I started really reading up on Suboxone during the course of taking it for a week. People reading this who are in similar positions are probably going to think I am being a baby, because the dosages and durations I am going to to talk about are lower than what I have read in other threads on this site. But bear in mind, I am here, reading and writing, and it took the feeling of "no escape" to even start searching around for this kind of support. Maybe I am just more sensitive to opiates and opiate withdrawal than other people, I don't know, but I hope you can take me seriously.

    So, that said, the title of this post are my questions. Here is the story:

    I last took Suboxone (approximately 1mg if I guessed correctly) 40 or so hours ago. I had been taking about 1mg per day, split into .5 mg doses only about 4-6 hrs apart, for 6 days. As you can guess already, I had pretty much no idea what I was doing. I was given 6 or 7 8mg Suboxone pills by a friend, who just kind of thought I might like them. At the time that he made that offer, it had been 24 hours or so since I had last used Oxycodone, which I had been abusing consistently for at least two years, although at relatively low doses.

    I had become a master of "chipping away" I guess. I'd abuse oxy for about three week or so every month, finding all kinds of ways to supplement my supply. During peaks, the dosage would be about 20 mg per day, and I'd always taper down to about 5mg before it ran out. After three days or so of mild WD (a handful of times I misplayed the taper and the WD's became at the very least moderate), I have a handful of days free, and then I would get offered more oxy's, the supply being tied to someone else's prescription.

    So I was at the end of this cycle when I my friend offered me the subs. I could feel the dull beginnings of WD's, and didn't want to deal with them. They would probably have been relatively mild too. But I knew nothing about suboxone at all at the time, and read just enough to understand the dangers of precipitated withdrawal, which I calculated was unlikely. They were; they didn't happen.

    The first night I took it (1mg), I felt great, though it kept me up all night, and I slept like someone had poured concrete over me through the entire next day. After that I tried to split the one mg up into .5mg doses spaced a few hours apart. Don't ask me how or why I arrived at this interval, I just did. The euphoria backed off, but it kept me feeling normal, like I had slipped past the WD's I was trying to avoid, so I kept doing that over the next few days, while also reading more and more about it, which eventually scared me to death.

    I had made plans to visit a friend last weekend, so I knew I was going to stay on it at least until then, which I did, and at the about 1mg a day give or take the fact that I was eyeballing the dosages, so somedays I could tell they were lower (just enough to keep from feeling the onset of WD) and some days I could tell they were higher (slight euphoria, followed by that crushing sleep I just referred to), but anyway, day six I took that last 1mg (it was probably a little more, I have to say, judging by how I felt), and have been waiting and wondering since.

    Again that was 40 hours ago, probably 41 by the time I actually post this. Objectively, the one side effect that tells me the sub is active has been constipation -- not severe, but real. That hasn't quite gone away yet, nor has it turned into its opposite, which has happened to me every time I have gone into WDs for real.

    I guess I am hoping I can bite the bullet and get through whatever is to come. But when should I expect it to start, and how long should I expect it to last. I am hoping that the relatively short duration of use will help me out. I actually don't consider the dosage all that low. I had no idea how powerful this stuff was. I wish I had read all of the posts I've read here before deciding to try it. They would have scared me off, I think. i have to admit that if reason prevailed when it comes to me and opiates, I wouldn't have a problem in the first place.

    I can deal with physical pain. It's the emotional side that I have a harder time with. In fact, this whole cycle of abuse got started when I noticed that oxy's made it easier to deal with a very painful breakup. They in fact allowed me to more or less pretend I was over it, except of course they also kept me stalled at that exact emotional moment, so every time they wore off, even over a 2 year period, I would find myself beginning to go through the emotional anguish of that break up, despite the fact that years had passed.

    Right now, 40 hours or so in, I can feel that ache returning. That's how I know I must be surfacing toward something. In just about a week, I know, I will be offered those oxy's again, and I have what seems like plenty of subs. I don't exactly know what to do. I can imagine me (because I know me) taking the subs again when their WDs kick in, or taking it every other day, to sort of sling shot myself back to where the oxy's would be available, then try to deal with that taper rather than this one.

    i don't know. I realize how silly this must seem when you look at the numbers, but I am completely at a loss for what to expect, when to expect it and what to do. I implore you for any advice or insight you may have.

    Thanks so much for listening.

  2. #2
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Default

    I am not judging you, so take what I'm saying the way it's intended please. You need to go back and read your post again. You have NOT decided whether you are really going to get clean, use again when an oxy script becomes available or what! Subs are just a tool for getting clean, not to hold you over until you score again. Lots of people get into trouble doing this, trust me, I've seen it right here for years. You need to decide that you're going to get clean NO MATTER WHAT, with or without subs being available, then I can help you and will be more than willing to give you my full attention. Let me know how I can help you. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  3. #3
    troublefunk is offline New Member
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    Apr 2012
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    I know what you are saying, and I know why you are saying it. You read my post with more insight than I had when I wrote it.

    It is only in the last month or so that I have begun to admit there is a genuine problem at all. Just telling the truth. It was easy enough for me to pretend there was no problem, as long as I continued to stay employed, etc . . . In the back of my mind, I knew there was an issue, but it only recently that I have begun to take a clearer look at things.

    Everyone I ever knew who had a problem with opiates used WAY more than I have, even at my worst, so I turned a blind eye to not only my own behavior, but what it was causing me NOT to do and NOT to accomplish. I am only just recently trying to make myself see this.

    I heard this: "Subs are just a tool for getting clean, not to hold you over until you score again. Lots of people get into trouble doing this, trust me, I've seen it right here for years."

    I do not want to get into that kind of trouble. I have no intention of taking the subs again. I don't know if there will be WD or not at this point. I guess we will see.

    The harder part for me, and I realize I am swerving out of the precise theme of this forum, will be turning down oxys when they are offered.

    When I first did the subs I told myself I was doing exactly what you say is the correct thing, using them as a tool to get away from oxys. But as I observe myself -- and listen to what you are saying -- I realize that is not true. It has been the second thing you suggest, the hold over idea, that was actually operating in my head.

    It will be a week before anyone offers me anything. I am pretty certain I have scared myself well enough to not take the subs (I'll let you know if I back my talk up by actually flushing them; thus far I haven't). The real challenge in front of me now is to build up some kind of resolve in the face of more oxys being available. I tell myself all the time I will say no, but then I don't. It's massively frustrating.

    To be honest, looking at my pattern of abuse, I'm not sure subs are for me at all. I don't (yet) have the kind of addiction where I FEAR WDs; I just don't like them. I think I have always had the potential to become seriously addicted (I think this is genetic; my brother died from >>>>>> addiction); I just never really had the access.

    Now, somehow or another, I do. I think I've ranted enough and wasted enough of everyone's time. I'm just really bummed that I can't seem to slap myself awake enough to commit to leaving all of this stuff behind forever.

    At any rate, it's now more like 49 hours, and aside from feeling emotionally a bit low, nothing . . .

    From what I have calculated and read, I suppose it is the next two days where I find out if I have dodged this bullet or not. We will see. I certainly have to take responsibility for aiming it at my own head.

    Thanks for even taking the time to read this. I have read many of your posts and many of your interactions with other people on this site.





    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    I am not judging you, so take what I'm saying the way it's intended please. You need to go back and read your post again. You have NOT decided whether you are really going to get clean, use again when an oxy script becomes available or what! Subs are just a tool for getting clean, not to hold you over until you score again. Lots of people get into trouble doing this, trust me, I've seen it right here for years. You need to decide that you're going to get clean NO MATTER WHAT, with or without subs being available, then I can help you and will be more than willing to give you my full attention. Let me know how I can help you. God bless.




    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    I am not judging you, so take what I'm saying the way it's intended please. You need to go back and read your post again. You have NOT decided whether you are really going to get clean, use again when an oxy script becomes available or what! Subs are just a tool for getting clean, not to hold you over until you score again. Lots of people get into trouble doing this, trust me, I've seen it right here for years. You need to decide that you're going to get clean NO MATTER WHAT, with or without subs being available, then I can help you and will be more than willing to give you my full attention. Let me know how I can help you. God bless.

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