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Pretty scared, waiting for withdrawals. New to Subutex
Pretty scared, waiting for withdrawals. New to Subutex
I've been reading this forum for a long time. This is my first post. A quick note about me. I'm addicted to painkillers. Mostly Vicodin. I take about 60-80 mg a day and have for, this time, 6 months. Before that I had been for about 3 years until I became pregnant. I quit cold turkey and was pretty sick for about a month. It could have been the pregnancy making it worse but, it sucked. After I had my C section, I was prescribed Norco. I took them as directed for the 2 weeks and felt pretty confident I wouldn't be going that route again. However, 2 people in my family are on pain management and they don't like their meds so they give them to me. It's not their fault, it's mine. I'm not pointing blame.
I stopped a couple of times for a day or so in the last 6 months and it's torture trying to take care of an infant. She's great, I don't mean that I can't handle her or take them because of her. Just with the body aches and carrying her and getting up to move around is so rough. So, I contacted a local Mental Health place. My insurance covers this type of treatment and the place had a nice website. I had very high hopes. BOY WAS I WRONG!
I went in there not in full withdrawal because when I called they could only do the next day, or in 10 days. I wanted it right away so I went in. It was supposed to last a couple of hours. Part of it was a therapy session with a psychiatrist and part with a group and part of it was them giv ing me the meds there. I told him I wasn't in with drawal but wanted to keep my appointment and at least attend the counseling part and come in for the induction near a weekend so my husband would be home for support.
This guy is completely unorganized, never looked me in the eye, laughed at me when I told him how much I was taking, threatened me with a drug test over and over and kept pushing me to say I was suicidal. Kept asking me if i was sure I wasnt in trouble with the law. I am not any of those.. I Just lost control of myself for a bit. I told him everything I was taking and said drug test me but, I'm not sure what it will do since I am there on my own accord. He has to keep leaving the room to ask the lady out front questions, or to ask where my stuff was and he aske dme the same questions that I spent 30 minutes writing on papers when I came in. Then he says 'so tell me about your childhood" . So I think this is the start of my counseling session as I had some things I was ready to talk about. I tell him, not so good. he writes that down and says "well I'm going to send you home with the 8 mg, wait until you withdraw and take half in am and half in pm, come back in a week" i asked about the counseling and he says, ask the lady out front for the group schedule. That group is mostly people that are in trouble with the law and required to be there. I'm so disappointed I didn't get some counseling and just sent home with a script. I'm not sure what to do. I took my last vicodin tonight at 4 and that should time it right so I can take this subutex when my husband is home.
Two things, I'm scared to death to take this stuff in general. I read so many things about death, horrible withdrawals and addiction. He was very unclear and everytime I try to search for information, I get "can you get high on bupe?". I don't want that, I have easy access to drugs if I wanted to, I don't!. I want my old self back, i want to be completely present for my daughter and husband.
The COWS sheet is rather subjective. I start to analyze myself. Am I really that sick, or am I weak? Am I going to give myself major withdrawals if I don't wait longer? Etc etc.
OH and one more thing. I am being weined off Zoloft (post pardum blues) and am on Ambien. 5mg 1 per day. I've never abused either. But I have seen it says not to take with that stuff. I specifically asked and he said its fine.
I need to start this this weekend while I have support at home but, I'm scared ????less and feel like I'm completely on my own with little guidance from a medical professional.
Sorry so long winded... any advice? I NEED to do this now, this weekend.
He gave me subutex 8mg
I say take the subutex as prescribed and get off the Vic's. What other option do you have that is more attractive than the sub.?
Hi Helena, I'm Inducting onto subutex from Herion I have abused opiates fir ten years and I have the same fears as you but have found people on the site who have been so helpful with my fears and my limited knowledge if subutex. I was lucky enough that Robert_325 has been there for me and helping me with my induction and tapering plan. Alot of the correct information and answers for your questions are on my thread jimmy 36 sub thread. I dud not know anything about subutex and was fearful bc of all the horror stories I had heard, if you ask anyone on this site they all know Robert_325 and he has helped over a thousand people get clean using the proper procedure, from induction to tapering down and coming off subutex in 8-12 weeks. You are most welcome to join in on my thread and we can both do this and get clean. And I am sure even though Robert_325 us in much demand he would be willing to help you, he has been there and done it himself aswell as helping others. Wish you all the best. Jimmy
Helena one thing I forgot to mention one thing that I have heard from many knowledgeable people including Robert is that one of the biggest problems is the amount if subutex drs prescribe and longer than they need to and this is what can create uneccessery problems. You may not need 8mg to induction and stabilise, 2-4 mg might be sufficient saving you from having to taper from a higher dose. Do visit my thread and that will give you more detailed info and you can always ask Robert anything that us not already in the posts on my thread. Robert has over 10 years experience and lots if people in the site who clean bc he helped them to take subutex correctly. I was in your exact situation no so long ago and know how stressful it us nit knowing what us the right way to go about starting subutex. And just like someone was kind enough to take time out and point me in the right direction I am doing the same.