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My diary from my jump on suboxone.
Well I have found a few other's diaries and I've decided to do my own, I'll begin with my story. I first started on percocet when I was 19 years old. I hurt my back at work and had two herniated discs. I have drank occasionally when I was in high school, nothing serious, never had a problem with it. I've never done drugs, I've tried ONCE to smoke marijuana, but it freaked me out so bad I never touched the stuff again. When the doctor gave me percocet (5 mg) I took it occasionally, didn't have a problem when I started out. My boyfriend of 3 years who had never treated me very well, had cheated on me, this was in January of 2010 I was 20, and that's when I hurt my back again at work. He left the city we had moved to which is across the country from where I was from, and where I had been my entire life, and I was alone. I was off work due to my injury, and that's when the percocet abuse began. I would only take 2-3 (5 mg) a day and that would get me the "high" I needed, but soon I had begun to see that I was taking more and more and more, and actually buying from a VERY close family member of mine, whom I live with. I didn't say they were for me, but for a friend. That's when I got the taste of (100 mg) morphine pills. I was taking 100-150 mg of morphine, plus 60 mg+ of percocet. It spiraled out of control VERY fast. This went on for two years, but I wanted to stop, I didn't want to spend any more of my money, I was tired of living a lie. No one knew about this, none of my friends, and I only told my grandmother. I made an appt. with a sub doctor, he prescribed me 2 (8mg) strips of suboxone a day. I was so joyed by the fact that all my withdrawals pains went away with two of the 8mg strips. I stayed on the suboxone for another 2 months, then was forced to get off because my prescription was running out, and with no insurance the subs were $350, plus the $150 fee to see the doctor. I tapered for a couple weeks, then the withdrawals kicked in. NO energy, DEPRESSION, CONSTANT FATIGUE, then these HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE stomach pains, I tried to stick it out for another two weeks, I had gone to the ER 6+ times, I had lost 20 pounds, and I was only 140 pounds and 5'9 before this, at the ER they didn't do anything for me because they had known I was on the subs. previously, they gave me nausea meds, and sent me home every time. I found a new ER and they gave me a morphine shot and I felt better immediately. I was sent home with about 20 vicodin, and that's where the trouble started again. After the vicodin I started back on percocet, 150 mg+ daily, no morphine I swore to never take it again. This lasted for another 6 months when I wanted to stop again. I'm so young only 22 and I have my whole life ahead of me, I had to stop for myself, I was so tired of this life, I didn't want to keep counting pills, I couldn't take a trip home to see my family or friends because I would have no access to pills. So I cold turkeyed off of them, and by day 3 I gave in on the suboxone, I had 30 strips to last me, and I was taking 2 mg some days, others I would take 8 mg, then began my taper for about a week. I skipped a day between my last two doses, and I got down to a small strip of the subs, and jumped. Well today is my third day off. So I'll describe my symptoms.
Day 1-Felt very tired, and had some trouble sleeping but that's it.
Day 2-Felt even more tired, but forced myself to get off the couch to do some stuff, took a drive and blared music which helped bring my spirits up, appetite was completely gone, had the yawns and sneezes throughout the day, hot and cold, forced myself to eat some cereal, no nausea, but the sleep thing sucks. I took two benadryl, a muscle relaxer, and took a hot bath, and still woke up four times throughout the night.
Day 3(today)-Woke up with the yawns, I feel very tired and no motivation at all. Haven't yawned or sneezed yet, no nausea yet, loose stools have begun. I will update later tonight on how the rest of the day goes!
I'll also tell you what I'm taking for the withdrawal. I found these pills from a vitamin store that have st. john's wort, 5-htp, tyrosine, sam-e, b12, and b6. They seem to help with my mood and energy a little bit, but by NO means does that mean i'm not incredibly tired. I have immodium, and muscle relaxers/benadryl also for sleeping. Stocked up on gatorade and bottled waters, I'm staying away from the soda right now I don't want to do anything to upset my stomach. I'm always on the computer, so anyone feel free to respond, or make any suggestions.
Last edited by AH123; 05-15-2012 at 05:52 PM.
Glad you are hanging in there from your posts you sound very positive you can do it hopefully in a few more days you will be done and then you will have your whole life to look forward to and the best part will be that you are sober in a few weeks I will be there to just keep thinking all that extra money I will have
Thank you! Well it's 10:30 p.m. here where I'm at, today went well. Got out of the house, cleaned a bunch, and didn't have many w/d symptoms. Hot and cold here and there, some sneezes, and some stomach issues, took some immodium for the stool issues, but nothing major, thank God! Bring on day 4!
AH, sounds like the worst might be over. Takes a while to get past it, but worth all the effort. If you have trouble from the subs Robert 325 is the best source of advice and taper. Hang in there if it dodn't get better nobody would be clean. Good Luck Surfdog
Good Job Ah....sounds like another successful day for you....you might have got lucky and had a painless kick but don't let that fool you. The lure to relapse can be very tricky and patient if you don't stay on guard and keep learning to love yourself. You might be one of the lucky few who had a brief love affair with the drugs and then outgrow it....if not you know where the community is and it will always be there for you....I just got out of my hot yoga class....felt so good to sweat out the poison and loosen up the muscles and joints.....lots of love your way Jeff
Hello everyone, day 4 went pretty good. I went to sleep with no problems last night at around 12, and I woke up around 8...pretty good night sleep. I had a struggle with some depression this morning, but put some music on and took my supplements and was feeling good soon after. The "lazy feeling" is kinda still there but much more tolerable. Anyone who is doing the taper, or cold turkey from subs, the supplements that are recommended on the "thomas recipe" work wonders! The immodium as well!
The one thing I am worried about is that I've been using a muscle relaxer, and benadryl before bed to help me sleep, I'm going to try tomorrow without the muscle relaxer, but as far as the benadryl, does anyone else take this nightly? Or should I stop after tomorrow and let my body learn how to sleep on it's own without anything? I feel fine during the day with anxiety and depression creep in every now and again, but when I'm laying in bed I can fall asleep, but then when I wake up falling back asleep is a problem because it's SO hard to get comfortable. Any advice on this would be GREATLY appreciated!
Thanks Jeffrey and surf dog for your posts!
Whats up AH123 have you ever heard of WITHdrawl Ease. does it work. anyone you no used it. Just started it tonight Im on day 5 of SUB detox. Feel ok, cant sleep, supplements work alittle. putting all my faith in that Withdrawl Ease night time dose hope it helps. Would like to no if it worked for anyone else or did I just blow $100 Let me no if you got any help for me. thanks goodluck
Sorry grassblue, wish I could help you, but I've never heard of it. Maybe try searching online for reviews, I'll take a look and let you know if I find anything!
Thanks AH. NO worries Hope all is well
Originally Posted by GRASSblue
You're putting all your faith in something you know nothing about. This is why people usually relapse doing this kind of thing and then blame it all on jumping off abruptly from subs instead of using them properly.
I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.
Hi Ah...how did your day go today...is your energy getting any better....Hope all is well....sending positive vibrations your way...I take the benadryl also...and lots of advil...might not be the best but I figure its alot better than the stuff we have been taking...remeber this doesn't happen over night....sometimes easy does it isnt a bad idea......Jeff
Well I woke up today and felt ok, only woke up once last night and fell back asleep within a couple minutes! I am getting out of the house as much as I can, trying to surround myself with good people! My energy isn't 100% but it is only day 5, and like many have said, I didn't get myself here overnight, so I'm not going to get out of it overnight. I realize it's going to take my body and brain some time to get back to normal, just have to keep being patient and positive! The depression is always lingering in the back of my head, but keeping busy helps a lot. Just going to take it day by day and be happy I'm SOBER!
How are you doing now? It's been a few days since you last updated so I'm curious how your days have been going.
I read all your updates so far and you're helping to inspire me!
Best wishes to you...