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I DON’T THINK I CAN DO THIS. REALLY! Robert help me please.
  1. #1
    Anonymous Guest

    Angry I DON’T THINK I CAN DO THIS. REALLY! Robert help me please.

    I am posting a new thread with all my info. I apologize for the lenghth. I would honor any advice from this group.

    Here is my history. I was on pain management medications for the last several years (Opana, Percocet, Soma, etc.). I nwouo longer wanted to take those. Therefore, over the last year I reduced the pain medicine I was on by nearly 100%. Although that is where I hoped I was heading, I had not reduced the medication a 100% because I require lengthy IV treatments once a month. These treatments induce pain and migraines that I have not been able to kick without assistance. I also require back and spine treatments every four months that require anesthesia, etc.
    A primary care physician I trusted suggested I try Suboxone (now I do not think she really knew what exactly the drug contained). I scheduled an appointment with another primary care physician that could administer Suboxone. This physician was very adamant that this drug would help me for pain management. She stated that this was unquestionable the medication that I needed to be on. An added bonus, I wouldn’t need (or be able to) take sleep medicine and muscle relaxants. That was exactly what I needed to hear. I have tried so many different methods to reduce pain in the last several years. I don’t think there is anything out there I haven’t tried. I scheduled an induction appointment.
    Fifty hours before my induction appointment I went off of all pain medications. I had withdrawal for two days (most unpleasant but nothing I couldn’t handle). On the day of my induction appointment I was nearly free of all symptoms. And, I didn’t have that much pain!!! I decided not to go on Suboxone but kept my appointment anyhow to discuss the possibility of doing an induction the following week if my pain levels did not stay in reasonable abatement. At the appointment the doctor basically strong armed me into going ahead with the induction. It is clear to me that she lied to me and my husband about direct questions we asked. I was told that I could reverse my decision to go on Suboxone at any time and go back to pain medicine within 12-24 hours (for reasons stated above this was a very important question for me). She said there was “nothing to lose by taking it now … I could stop it if I didn’t like it and that would be that.” “She had people try it for a week and drop it all the time, no problem.”
    My bad!!! (I am not an idiot. I have two Master’s). This was sure stupid! I should have done more research. The research I did do focused on the drug and pain management. I made a bad decision, obviously. To make matters worse, I was induced with an 8mg. My hand was still a bit shaky so she had me take another eight. I told her okay but that was it. After the second eight I got sick. I was very, very nauseated, dizzy and irritable. She said I needed to take another one. I did not want to but she insisted it would help and I had nothing to lose by not trying it. She said it couldn’t hurt at all. I took the next eight. I got even worse. She encouraged me to take one more. I refused. She sent me home on that dose (24) and said she would see me back in a week. I violently threw up the entire hour and ½ drive home.

    6/12 Induction of 24.
    6/13 I took (20) in hopes I would do better on it. I was sick all day. I decided to go off and reverse back to my pain meds (I was told it would be no problem … just wait 12 hours). I decided I would see if I could find more information. Yes, this should have been done sooner!!! I found this site.
    6/14 (20) Very sick … hooked up with Robert_325.
    6/15 (12) Very sick … I had appointment with Primary Care Physician. She saw how sick I was from this. She was horrified. She consulted with the Suboxone specialist the hospital E.R. referred her to. They recommended I do as follows:
    Day 1 (my 6/15) take 4mg am and 8mg pm. This is what Robert had me do. I am following him.
    Day 2 (would be today) take 4mg am and 4mg pm. I have not taken anything yet. I hope I will hear from Robert.
    Day 3 take 4mg in the pm.
    Day 4 take 2mg in pm.
    Day 5 take 2mg in pm
    They said I should have minimal withdrawal from the drug after day 5 and be able to return to pain management if desired. I was so so sick last night. I can't think right on this stuff. I can't sleep. ...I feel a bit better at the moment but not much. My physician prescribed me Zofran, Tizanadine, Cypriheptadine, and Clonidine. I am scared to take anything!!!
    Robert … what should I do??? I really need your help and would consider myself blessed beyond belief if you would help me.

  2. #2
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Digger .... I thought that I told you to do 12mg for a couple days and we would see how you feel. I have to see your symptoms after that before telling you something else. Can't just pull a dose out of the sky! RELAX!!! We will work this out, have to take it one day at a time after that dr messed you up.

    Don't take all that other garbage! Give this a day or so to get out of your system. Stay at 12mg today. Let me know tomorrow afternoon how you feel (I will be at church in the morning). We have to ride this out, I can't reverse what that dr did instantly. Has to work out of your system. Hope that helps. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    Digger .... I thought that I told you to do 12mg for a couple days and we would see how you feel. I have to see your symptoms after that before telling you something else. Can't just pull a dose out of the sky! RELAX!!! We will work this out, have to take it one day at a time after that dr messed you up.

    Don't take all that other garbage! Give this a day or so to get out of your system. Stay at 12mg today. Let me know tomorrow afternoon how you feel (I will be at church in the morning). We have to ride this out, I can't reverse what that dr did instantly. Has to work out of your system. Hope that helps. God bless.
    Robert, thank you for responding to my post. I did 12 yesterday as you instructed. I will hold at 12 until until you advise otherwise. I will try my best to relax! It isn’t the easiest thing for me to do right now. This suboxone has me so high and sick it paralyzes me. So yes, I will have to take it moment by moment. Thank you for helping me through this. I hope you enjoy your weekend.

  4. #4
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Hi Digger,
    You gotta relax a little bit. You know why you should trust Robert and listen to him?

    1. Because he is NOT compensated (being paid) for what he's doing here.
    2. He is NOT a Doctor.
    3. He does this out of the good of his heart
    4. I've never seen him fail anybody
    5. I've never seen him unsuccesful when the person LISTENED to his instructions - been here 2.5 - 3 years myself.

    All those things considered, the guy has to be doing something right. He can't undo what a mess these Doctor's make in a few days. It takes time. You didn't become this way overnight did you? Relax. Give it some time. Come into the Need to Talk forum and chat with us. I don't mean to sound like a witch. Just being straight forward. I trust Robert cause he's not being paid, and he's not a Doctor. You should too
    Crystalclear651 likes this.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by rxqueen83 View Post
    Hi Digger,
    You gotta relax a little bit. You know why you should trust Robert and listen to him?

    1. Because he is NOT compensated (being paid) for what he's doing here.
    2. He is NOT a Doctor.
    3. He does this out of the good of his heart
    4. I've never seen him fail anybody
    5. I've never seen him unsuccesful when the person LISTENED to his instructions - been here 2.5 - 3 years myself.

    All those things considered, the guy has to be doing something right. He can't undo what a mess these Doctor's make in a few days. It takes time. You didn't become this way overnight did you? Relax. Give it some time. Come into the Need to Talk forum and chat with us. I don't mean to sound like a witch. Just being straight forward. I trust Robert cause he's not being paid, and he's not a Doctor. You should too
    I was listening to Robert. I trusted him too. I just wanted him to have all the info I was getting as well. I believe I followed all of his instructions thus far. I was waiting for a response on how to proceed. He last told me to let him know how I felt in the morning. I was still terribly sick ... sicker actually. I didn't know if that would make a difference. He has reduced my meds twice in no time. Would he want to do it more or no?

    As I stated in my post, I have two Master's degrees; don't you think I know what compensated means? And yes, I did become this way over night. Yes, I need to relax. I don't think the best or type (from a phone) the best when I am sicker than spinning, high, etc. Forgive me for being a bit uptight. You may be use to this. I am not. But, I guess I would rather go it alone than here. Hasta. P.S. God will bless Robert; how could he not!
    Last edited by ddcmod; 06-16-2012 at 11:22 PM.

  6. #6
    iloerose is online now Platinum Member
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    Digger: Do not stop coming here. Robert helps people because that is what he does: Pays it forward. I'd be uptight, too, if I were in your position. I read your other thread. I do not like speaking for others, but the only thanks Robert really wants is that people to do what he tells them to do and you did that. Geez, I hope you feel better this morning!

    Queen: you are out of line here. Digger is listening to Robert and trying to follow directions appropriately. He thanked Robert for the help. Unfortunately, he was put on too high a dose by his Doctor. I feel for him being that sick: it is scary, scary, scary, especially after a weeks time. If I am taking your post in the wrong way, I'm sorry.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  7. #7
    thalia45 is offline Member
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    I haven't read this whole story but I do know that Robert is one in a million (billion?) who helps people selflessly, from his experience and his spirituality. I have no idea what he knows about "subs"; not been there ...yet... but all you have to do is look at all the people he has helped.

    Sorry that the word people have gotten in here re: "compensated" but email/posts have become a minefield of misunderstood comments, and things said innocently taken wrongly. Someone should come out with a book about the trouble this has caused (maybe they already have?) but I can promise that Robert doesn't hang around with this stuff; he is about saving lives.

    Trust him, Jana

  8. #8
    Halloweenhead is offline Member
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    I think rxqueen's post was taken the wrong way...that's the disadvantage of digital talk - no inflection or expressions. Easy to take the wrong way when you're in the state that Digger's in. I think Queen just overstated her opinion of the importance of this forum a little bit. How about if everyone forgives and does a little rewind? Digger - please stay. This is a good place for wisdom and support.
    Crystalclear651 likes this.
    Take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'm just an addict who knows a little about drugs.

  9. #9
    Crystalclear651 is offline Senior Member
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    Hi digger,

    I agree plz don't take rxqueens statement out of context....she didn't mean it in THAT way... N I can relate to ur experience in feeling sicker than u know what. I was on subs for the first time (decided to get off pain meds several yrs ago for my pain probs n saw sub dr who claimed they are a great lifetime pain med...I'm on here now for a different round of getting off subs n Robert n others have been so supportive, sweet, compassionate, n caring) n the dr had me on 32 mg a day for over a year...but when I went from my pain meds to subs I was extremely sick, anxious, and feeling horrible...just sayin I understand ur frustration n anxiety. But honestly the ppl who take the time to post truly do care for u n ur well-being. N I'm not sure what u meant by "you may b used to this but I am not"... Each of us on here has our own story, some have used >>>>>>, some have used prescribed meds, some of us are in pain n scared, some of us get addicted to pain meds, etc but we all share similar things: we want to get off the meds n need help, support, love n understanding. So please don't quit now, n try to not over think things n what has happened w the a$$hole sub dr u saw. U are in a great place for getting off them now, n u need to b more open n receptive to ppls advice. Also visit the forum need to talk section n u can see there are many of us successfully tapering off subs n you'll also see what a team we are! Rooting each other on, giving kind words of encouragement. So drop those defenses n know that ur not alone n u have ppl who actually care about ya. Hope to hear from u soon n hang in there, u can get thru this if u WANT it!! Big hugs n many blessings, Crystal

  10. #10
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Digger ..... I don't know for sure what's going on here but it doesn't matter! Bottom line is that addicts are volatile, we get consumed in emotions both real and imaginary, we lose control of the most important things in our lives over goofy misunderstandings or any number of things.

    I'm here and I'm ready to help you. What the hell else matters? Talk to me dude! God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  11. #11
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Hey Digger,
    Please understand how truly sorry I am! I did not mean any of that the way it was understood. Re-reading it I can see how you interpreted it that way, and I would like to sincerely ask you to please forgive me. I want to apologize sincerely and explain quickly and then BUTT OUT. I feel terrible now thinking I was mistaken for intentionally trying to disrupt you or be harmful to this process in any way.

    I wanted to encourage you to trust Robert and trust the process. For a long time I made the mistake of NOT doing that, and it was a bad call on my part. Please friend, extend the olive branch and understand I am here only to be supportive. NOT to be disruptive. I'm very upset with myself for not proof reading either! I don't know why I put (paid) next to compensated but I do know like Robert said, our heads and emotions get crazy during this time so I tend to speak very, very simply to others.

    I hope you'll forgive me or even not forgive me, but just move forward my friend. I am so sorry for interrupting! It's not even important to forgive me but to grab ahold of your chance at recovery and run. Forget me, exactly again as Robert said, WHO CARES? I just wanted to explain, I am not a troll. I try very hard to keep ego, emotion and arrogance out of my posts. Thank you to those folks who tried to back me up on this as well.

    Digger, I'm going now! Please, go on! We can talk more later if you like! Take care of what is most important, YOU...

    Your FRIEND!!!
    RX Queen
    Nadia
    Strong Desire likes this.

  12. #12
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Hey Robert,
    I wanted to say I'm really, really sorry for interrupting you and someone your working with bro. I hope you know I wasn't trying to be rude or disruptive. I would never want to kick anyone when their down. I'm truly sorry for disrupting, and I will be sure not to do it again

    Digger I really hope your out there "lurking" somewhere man, and decide to join us again and post. I was really and still am kicking myself in the butt for insulting you during such a delicate time. I am truly sorry my friend. I am by no means any better than you, fighting the same fight! I was trying to be encouraging during a time when I know we second guess ourselves, second guess others. I'm not even really in a position to critisize people, I'm not truly clean myself. I still take Sub too! I usually just try to stick with helpful advice and stay away from "setting someone straight" or "calling people out on their bull". I let the more seasoned folks handle that! I'm really a fairly harmless person. Just another lil old junkie!

    I hope you'll reconsider my friend. This is a great place, and as I've already said, Robert is a great, great guy. I can't explain how much I admire him and respect him. That is why I put so much emphasis on his not being paid here, cause I can't believe someone would selflessly dedicate SO MUCH TIME to others. This guy is cleaning up mess after mess made by these "Big Honcho Mucho Bucks" Doctors!!! And for nothing! I truly admire that!

  13. #13
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Nadia .... all you can do is the best you can do! People get their feelings hurt by me all the time when that is the last thing I ever intended to happen. Let it go and focus on what's on your plate. Hopefully Digger will come back with a new determination to do this! Just do the best you can and let it go. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  14. #14
    PatrickB is offline Member
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    One of the things I've learned from going to meetings on a regular basis is that when I speak to someone I share my experience and try and leave out using "you should do this or you gotta do that". Two of the most common characteristics of a drug addict is defiance and resentment.

    Another thing I've noticed is that drug addicts who are highly intelligent or educated often have a harder time with recovery because they are often successful in other areas of their life and think "Hey I'm smart, I can figure this out on my own too". Unfortunately that is most often not the case.

    And of course as Robert pointed out, not only are drug addicts volatile, we're usually all surprisingly very sensitive when you take away drugs and alcohol. It's funny how tough and fearless I used to think I was when I was using, only to find out in recovery that I was afraid of pretty much everything and everyone.

  15. #15
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Hey Guys!
    Your both very, very right. I agree 100%. Thanks for your words, it does make me feel better. It probably won't be the last time I hurt someone's feelings or make them mad on here

    PatrickB, you brought up some great points. It reminded me of someone I know, used to be close to. Not super educated like you mentioned, but a little "uppity" maybe? Had money let's say! Anyways, he was a closet addict and a drunk. Constantly taking Oxycontin and drinking Vodka. He brought me to the Methadone clinic one day and made the typical rude remarks about all the "dirtbag junkies". I said "Ya know something...those dirtbags and junkies are ahead of you in life dude. Atleast they've admitted to having a problem and are getting help". Not even two months later he was in a Suboxone clinic asking for help.

    Good day to you both gentlemen. Stay cool tommorow! It's going to be very hot! 98 here, almost 100. Robert, it will probably be pretty toasty down there!

  16. #16
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by rxqueen83 View Post
    Hey Guys!
    Your both very, very right. I agree 100%. Thanks for your words, it does make me feel better. It probably won't be the last time I hurt someone's feelings or make them mad on here

    PatrickB, you brought up some great points. It reminded me of someone I know, used to be close to. Not super educated like you mentioned, but a little "uppity" maybe? Had money let's say! Anyways, he was a closet addict and a drunk. Constantly taking Oxycontin and drinking Vodka. He brought me to the Methadone clinic one day and made the typical rude remarks about all the "dirtbag junkies". I said "Ya know something...those dirtbags and junkies are ahead of you in life dude. Atleast they've admitted to having a problem and are getting help". Not even two months later he was in a Suboxone clinic asking for help.

    Good day to you both gentlemen. Stay cool tommorow! It's going to be very hot! 98 here, almost 100. Robert, it will probably be pretty toasty down there!



    Yeah it's supposed to be close to 100 tomorrow and sunny all day! I am glad as it's rained two days and cutting into my pool time! LOL

    Just one comment to add to what Patrick said about fear. Once you work the 12 steps and really do an inventory of yourself, most addicts find that a big majority of their actions while using are brought on by fear of some kind. It's not just fear when we're getting clean, but it's usually some kind of fear that gets us in this spot to begin with. God bless.
    Last edited by Robert_325; 06-19-2012 at 06:41 PM.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

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