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please help me with my boyfriends addiction
  1. #1
    helpme17 is offline New Member
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    Default please help me with my boyfriends addiction

    i need help my boyfried started snorting perks about 5 to 6 years ago and about 6 monthes ago he turned to opanas and now he turned to snorting herion probably around 3 bags a day and idk he says its better than doing a couple thirties or a very strong opana but i know its not good and i just need somebody to talk to about this and give me advice on how i can help him overcome his addiction. he has an addictive personality and anything he does he takes to extremes it all started with drinking then to this. i also need help bc he is taking almost all of our money to do drugs with which is from $1500 to $2000. now idk if thats alot to you but it iks to me wen im sitting at home and i have nothing to eat and i lost my car and i work my ass off and have nothing to show for it and i have never been addicted drugs or alcohol. i drink here and there and i get incredibly sick when i took a baby vike, which was prescribed to me when i had a tooth cut out, so i never had the urge to go and snort ???? up my nose.

    now i need help bc ive been with guy for 7 years now. we started dating back in when we were in middle school and now we r 22(me) and 21(him) and i love this boy with all my heart and i do want to be with him for the rest of my life but his drug addiction is taking a toll on me physically and mentally, i hate seeing where his addiction is taking us and im so sick of going without food or cable or a phone or just having a clear mind bc all im worried about when he isnt with me is if hes ok or am i going to come home and find him dead or what if he doesnt have it is he going to rob someone or is he gonna get robbed...idk i just need help or at least someone to talk to who has been i my shoes as the one who is suffering and isnt even addicted to drugs and wants there loved too get clean

  2. #2
    amberharwell is offline New Member
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    HelpMe- I have only been clean a few months but I know exactly what your going through. I was on pills and left my husband for a few months and stayed with a guy that was exactly like this. I think seeing how far it took him is what made me decide that that kind of lifestyle wasnt for me. I worked and worked and it all ended up in his hands. I thought I knew when he would buy pills or cocaine or whatever it was for that day but I found out that while I was at work he was spending more then I thought. He would make 1000-1200 a week and be broke by that night or the next day. Im here if you need to talk.

  3. #3
    Matt Mandel is offline New Member
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    I understand where you're coming from. Being addicted to pain killers for about six years definitely took a toll on my body, mind and my family. I've been clean for about 5 years now and I've never felt better. I think more clearly and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. I will never forget when my now fiance told me that she was pregnant with my daughter. I couldn't believe it and I didn't want an innocent child coming into the world and witnessing what her father was doing. So I decided to check myself into rehab and went CT. Going CT was tough but I kept thinking about my soon to be family. And just in time I got clean and my fiance had our daughter and I never looked back.

    What I'm trying to say is that maybe your boyfriend needs a wake up call so he can stop snorting and leave drugs alone for good. Try enrolling him in a rehab and go with him. Let him know that you're there for him. Right now, he needs all the support that he can get. Also, try having an intervention with him. It could possibly be you, his close friends and family. That's another wake-up call as well. Try to be supportive. If you have to hide your hard earned money then do that. If you give him money, you're only enabling him, and that's something you don't want to do.

    If you're supportive now, that's great. Continue to be supportive! All will work out for the both of you! Best of luck!!
    Sundwn and thalia45 like this.

  4. #4
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by helpme17 View Post
    i need help my boyfried started snorting perks about 5 to 6 years ago and about 6 monthes ago he turned to opanas and now he turned to snorting herion probably around 3 bags a day and idk he says its better than doing a couple thirties or a very strong opana but i know its not good and i just need somebody to talk to about this and give me advice on how i can help him overcome his addiction. he has an addictive personality and anything he does he takes to extremes it all started with drinking then to this. i also need help bc he is taking almost all of our money to do drugs with which is from $1500 to $2000. now idk if thats alot to you but it iks to me wen im sitting at home and i have nothing to eat and i lost my car and i work my ass off and have nothing to show for it and i have never been addicted drugs or alcohol. i drink here and there and i get incredibly sick when i took a baby vike, which was prescribed to me when i had a tooth cut out, so i never had the urge to go and snort ???? up my nose.

    now i need help bc ive been with guy for 7 years now. we started dating back in when we were in middle school and now we r 22(me) and 21(him) and i love this boy with all my heart and i do want to be with him for the rest of my life but his drug addiction is taking a toll on me physically and mentally, i hate seeing where his addiction is taking us and im so sick of going without food or cable or a phone or just having a clear mind bc all im worried about when he isnt with me is if hes ok or am i going to come home and find him dead or what if he doesnt have it is he going to rob someone or is he gonna get robbed...idk i just need help or at least someone to talk to who has been i my shoes as the one who is suffering and isnt even addicted to drugs and wants there loved too get clean
    Helpme, nothing is going to change until HE wants to get clean. His addiction does not have to destroy both of you. I don't mean this to be critical, but, he is using you to get what he wants. We as addicts are selfish and will use anyone to get what we want . Love has nothing to do with it. You cannot save him but you can save yourself. Try some Naranon meetings or NA/AA meetings you need a support system now more than ever. God Bless Surfdog

  5. #5
    Comeback Kid is offline Advanced Member
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    This coming from a man who met his wife in 9th grade. We have been through literally everything. Im 29 now. I can just tell you that your well-being is first and foremost important obviously. If he is endangering you then you should seek professional help.

    You need to be able to show him what he is doing to your relationship. Tell him how you feel about him, and how you imagine the future with him. Be supportive as much as you can, even though he is hurting so much. This is if you truly do love this man and want to be with him for the rest of your life. It is true he HAS TO WANT to be clean, but there are ways of making him realize this while in his fog. Good luck to you.

    Oh and open your own bank account if you are bringing in income he is spending. It will show him you are serious.
    surfdog likes this.
    Hi my name is Adam, i'm an addict
    "Do you have another day 1 in you?"
    “If I can't win what sense does it make to fight?”
    Do tomorrow what you did today, you get tomorrow what you got today
    Clean as of 05.30.2014 (4:00pm CST)

  6. #6
    TheBSly is offline New Member
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    Surfdog was pretty close. Only left out the part that you need to do. Comeback Kid had some good suggestions for an ultimatum speech. The bottom line is that with a person like that, you need to make the speech, see a change, or the the F out of there quick. Open a new bank account at a different bank. Don't get a debit card so he won't see it and know where to go. Do all of ur bills and such in cash and cashiers checks. If you cut off the means, the ability will follow. If you keep giving him access to ur cash, he's gonna take u for what you've got. These are the cold, hard facts nobody likes to face. Addicts are demons. They have no conscience about how their actions are affecting other people. Before you confront him, you need to be 100% prepared to pack ur stuff and bounce. Make sure u have family or friends that will let u stay with them before all of this so he knows it's not an empty threat. If you let him sweet talk u back in the first time, he'll know he can do it every time. Addicts have to hit rock bottom before they can get back on their feet.
    surfdog likes this.

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