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please help
  1. #1
    john3434 is offline New Member
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    Default please help

    heres my deal..I was addicted for Vicodin for 5 years..took between 18-20 750"s a day..I quit cold turkey and literally thought I was going to die! fast forward two years and I was a in my opinion a complete idiot and in legit pain and thought i would be ok and took two..here I am 2.5 years later and im taking between 55-60 (sometimes more if i have them) 12-13 at a time...I know I could not quit cold turkey again..ive more then doubled my intake since last time around..I have no problem going to rehab but im on probation for a owi charge Vicodin is the only thing im addicted to and im scared to take suboxin or anything cause they drug test me randomly..(I have a script for Vicodin) but obviously im taking WAYY more then prescribed...ive tried weaning myself down but I don't seem to have to strength this time around to take the withdraws...I 100% want to stop that's not even a question..any suggestions would really be appreciated

  2. #2
    toni.s. is offline Senior Member
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    hey john.
    first off..i just want to say welcome to the forum.
    if you're looking for help, you're in good hands here.

    but first things first,
    let me just get this straight..
    ok. yes.. u are taking WAAYYY more than prescribed.
    safe to say you have a problem here.
    no worries though,
    nothing that we haven't been through too.

    but i don't understand what ur asking for help with?

    i'm not trying to sound rude..
    but u said u don't want to wean urself down.
    nor stop cold turkey.
    nor take the sub route?
    is that correct?

    so what exactly do u want suggestions regarding?

    i just don't understand what ur trying to say.
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  3. #3
    Comeback Kid is offline Senior Member
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    Not to be harsh, but you say "you want it" well take it. You have to work for it, we don't have a secret way of bypassing withdrawls. You just have to accept that is what it will take to turn your life back around. At that rate of opiate intake, your liver doesn't stand a chance much longer. Try to sit back and think about what it's going to take, and can you do it? If the answer is yes, then please continue posting. We are here to help, but are also realistic more often. Good luck, and let us know what we can do for you.

    One thing is for certain, you will NOT die from the withdrawls. You can however die from prolonging the inevitable. Just ponder that.
    Last edited by Comeback Kid; 09-18-2012 at 09:13 PM.
    Enso, Sunny mom, sdonna68 and 1 others like this.
    Hi my name is Adam, i'm an addict
    "Do you have another day 1 in you?"
    “If I can't win what sense does it make to fight?”
    Do tomorrow what you did today, you get tomorrow what you got today
    Clean as of 05.30.2014 (4:00pm CST)

  4. #4
    Sunny mom is offline Member
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    Amen, Kid, and Toni...John, if any of us had the secret key to get clean easily, we'd all share it with you! Sadly, that doesn't exist. Look up the Thomas recipe...it is a list of supplements to take that can ease withdrawals. It's not fool-proof, but it does help some. I would THROW OUT any pills you have left...it won't kill you to go cold turkey, it will just feel awful but in the big scheme of things which includes your life, 5 or 6 days of feeling like cr*p is a small price to pay...post here as often as you can, we will be here for you, will be supportive, and will nicely tell you what you need to hear, maybe not what you always want to hear! Good luck to you, please set your mind to WANTING TO BE CLEAN!

  5. #5
    Sunny mom is offline Member
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    What's an owi charge, if you don't mind my asking?! I'm a dummy!

  6. #6
    Comeback Kid is offline Senior Member
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    Operating while Intoxicated. They typically issue those if you aren't drunk, but under the influence of something while driving.
    Hi my name is Adam, i'm an addict
    "Do you have another day 1 in you?"
    “If I can't win what sense does it make to fight?”
    Do tomorrow what you did today, you get tomorrow what you got today
    Clean as of 05.30.2014 (4:00pm CST)

  7. #7
    Sunny mom is offline Member
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    Thank you, Kid!

  8. #8
    Comeback Kid is offline Senior Member
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    Owi=dui : Dui=owi
    Sunny mom and sdonna68 like this.
    Hi my name is Adam, i'm an addict
    "Do you have another day 1 in you?"
    “If I can't win what sense does it make to fight?”
    Do tomorrow what you did today, you get tomorrow what you got today
    Clean as of 05.30.2014 (4:00pm CST)

  9. #9
    nomer28 is offline New Member
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    Hi John, I'm still lost on what kind of help you want. You said you don't have the strength to withdrawal either you don't want to stop. It's almost the same. I'm sure many people can help you in many ways yet I'll straightforward to say this. The biggest help that you can get is your decision and determination to stop it before it is too late. We can support you but the bottom line is are you really willing to help yourself? So, the best help is your determination to stop it slowly.

  10. #10
    Catrina is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi John,

    Much good advice here. That's what you'll almost always get. Honesty, with alot of compassion thrown in for good measure. Read around. You need to find the resolve and right frame of mind to do this thing however and as soon as you can. There are those of us with much longer, heavier habits and we did it! Easy? Not so much. Worth it? You bet! I found that for me it was much more mind over matter and a huge streak of stubborness, refusing to fail at this that fueled me to my last cold turkey, almost 3 yrs ago in Jan 2010 after 20+ yrs of abuse. In the beginning it was one minute at a time, graduated to 15 minutes eventually to 1/2 day and then watching the clock until it was simply too late to get ahold of anything. Besides, no way was I going to admit to another junkie that I couldn't do this! Yes I could! And I did! Soon, I was saying, just gotta get thru today. I can cave anytime I want but as time passes, the desire to cave lessens and I've learned that I can get thru today and it makes me proud of myself (with money in my check book!).

    I was never a weaner (gobble gobble). Cold turkey was the only road and I took it with enthusiasm and hope. I new what was waiting. I had been thru cold turkey plenty of times with limited success, clean for a few days to a few months. Eventually, I guess it stuck (so far). It's the memory of the symptoms that keep us from Day 1. Remember, time does warp our memories sometimes for the good but often for the bad.

    Use this forum as a journal, I wrote til there were blisters on my fingers. It saved my life and my clean life!

    Peace,

    Cat
    caughtagain and Comeback Kid like this.
    "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahil Gibran (1883-1931).

  11. #11
    john3434 is offline New Member
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    well i would love to take the sub route but then that would mean >> have to admit my addiction to the courts and that's would take my probation to a another level..im about 3.5 months from finishing up (been two years) if I tell them now they will make me go back to therapy and prob extend another year onto it...im all alone here nobody but my partner knows and he just says "just stop just quit" then when im laying there about to kill someone he thinks im being a prick and cannot figure out why I dont want to go to dinner! I guess what I am asking is..well I really dont know I think im just looking for the strength to do it again..the last time I did this I chatted on some forum and it helped a lot..even it to only take my mind off running out and getting some and giving me the courage..I have a drawer full of weak xanax .5's..im not a fan of em but I keep thinking well..I have probation today ill drug test today and know I wont have to for at least another month..should I come home start taking those and sleep for a week? I also have a good friend who is a pharmacist and her husband is a DR..they work in the city and im sure see all kinds of stufff I could probably talk to them and get on sub legally with a script then if it came up in drug screen i would have a reason for it..I dunno im going on and on it feels like my heads going to explode...btw I typically take 13 at a time I had 13 left yesterday..I only took half 6.5 last night and trying to wait till I cant take it any longer to take the other 6.5 tdy im nervous wreck about these withdrawls

  12. #12
    winged eagle is offline Advanced Member
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    John, you can do it! Just post, post often, get it all out here. We'll be supporting you all the way.
    I don't know much about the technicalities of the courts in the states, but I would recommend a sub taper for sure. Beats cold turkey any day. Plus, you'll be able to work through it, move around, almost be normal.
    We have a taper plan here by a man named Robert who through trial and error perfected the process. It's a six to eight week plan, after which you'd be completely clean.
    I can vouch for it myself. Did it two years ago, and yes there will be symptoms, there will be some stuff to deal with, but nothing not do-able.
    I'd post the link below, but I'm on my iPad, and not sure how... Maybe I'll try, or maybe one of the other members can come along (guys? Hey guys! A little help here?)
    Think about it.
    Whatever you decide, we're here for you.

  13. #13
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

    Welcome and I have some thoughts, just finishing up a meeting.. Will come on soon. Above is Roberts link, although I understand your trepidation with respect to the courts; however, not sure how they feel about you showing positive for benzo's... All my best, Reid
    winged eagle likes this.

  14. #14
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    o.k. .... john, here is my opinion, take it for what it is... I was taking a bunch of vicodin... as much as you were taking... The tthing is, you got to pay the piper to get clean, and that pay equates to 5 or so days.. Period.. I would $ack up, realize you are going to feel lousy and go for it.. End of story, and trust me, if you want it as bad as you say you do... It is doable. I did it, so I know that if I can, so can you.. I would not go the suboxin route, I would not take the xanax, as the courts include Benzo's in their randoms.. At least I think they would.. So its your call. but remember, the key is DO YOU WANT IT... All my best, Reid
    john3434 and winged eagle like this.

  15. #15
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    P.S.... CAT!!!!! How are you? I hope well. man is it good to see you on here!!! All my best, Reid

  16. #16
    toni.s. is offline Senior Member
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    john,
    i wasn't trying to be insensitive when i questioned u.
    but it seemed like u didn't really know what u wanted to do.
    and in this...
    well...
    i just don't want u second guessing urself.
    there are different ways to go about this..
    and we have all gone on our own paths.
    is one BETTER than another?
    no.
    in regards to which is easiest..
    if that's the answer ur looking for..
    prob the subs.
    yeah.
    but regardless,
    if u want one of these SOLUTIONS to stick..
    u have to be mentally ready.
    the subs can help AID in this...
    in regards to adjusting to sober living.
    but once they're gone..
    it's up to you and the foundation u've built to fall back on.

    am i badgering u, because you're not quite sure what route to take?
    h no! lol
    so please don't take it that way!
    oh my gosh..
    we can ALL relate..
    and we've ALL been there!

    but i do want u to take some time to think about this..

    this is a big decision.

    i don't think it's about which route u want to take..
    truly.
    i think this boils down to if ur READY to take this step.

    anyways..
    i only questioned u because i want u to take a step back..
    and think about what YOU'RE WILLING to do for ur sobriety.

    once u make THAT decision..
    all of the other ones just fall into place.
    and u'll be able to COMMIT yourself to a SOLUTION.

    oh...and in regards to the subs..and being on probation longer..
    (the possibility of) one more year..for a lifetime of freedom?..
    think about it.

    lol...or u could just quit cold turkey..

    lol..honestly..i don't know which one will work for u..
    i'm not going to pretend to either.

    but I DO know that u have to be ready..and WILLING to do whatever is neccessary..

    anyways.
    like wings said,
    we're here for u, whatever u decide.
    i
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  17. #17
    john3434 is offline New Member
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    im truly thankful for you(s) being (real) with me..I want this SO bad I can taste it and also know what it is like being sober..this website is really all the support I have to turn to...I do not work or have to work cause of a trust fund so money or time hasn't been the issue..the woman I get them from is all pissy acting with me cause I am no longer paying her mortgage with buying from her..I know its all a facade her acting like shes my best friend but at $3 a piece and 3-400 buying at a time 2-3 times a week shes tripping on me..I have started the slowing down thing..instead of having 400 in my house at ALL times ive been only getting 36 which is 3 doses (that's what I call it) at 12 at a time..I cut down from 13 at a time to 12 three times a day..that might not sound like a very great start but its a big deal for me..I just know I really want this again and will do whatever I have to do to get sober...I quit for two years and the second something tragic happen to me it was right back to the pills....it seems to make dealing with life a lot easier....a really good friend of mine passed away from cancer and I ended up being the guy to take care of all the pills BAD IDEA I had containers of drugs at my home that you would not believe..I thought oh just ONE Opana ill be ok..yea right! I blew thru 300 of those along with the morphine all the dilaudid perks and 20 other kinda pain killers in less then a month..well needless to say here I am three times worse then I was when I quit before..I am only 34 years old with a bright future i KNOW if I keep up this ill most certainly be dead by 40
    Comeback Kid likes this.

  18. #18
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    John addicts plus tapering does not work so well.. if you want it so bad you can taste it, then lets get it done.. post, post a lot.. google the Thomas recipe and lets get to it, we can support you but again, you have to want to do the work to get it done... All my best, Reid
    Sunny mom likes this.

  19. #19
    Comeback Kid is offline Senior Member
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    Agreed with Reid. You won't make it far at that rate. You should reduce your dose a min. of 25% in my opinion if you want a taper to even possibly work. I will tell you this though. You are not going to succeed in tapering from that amount. You should either go the Robert Sub Therapy route or just jump ship(cold turkey) NOW. If not now, then when? When you are down to 2 pills a day, you will be too scared to jump then. Who knows what could happen between now and then. You have to live for the day, but plan for tomorrow. Good luck sir.
    Hi my name is Adam, i'm an addict
    "Do you have another day 1 in you?"
    “If I can't win what sense does it make to fight?”
    Do tomorrow what you did today, you get tomorrow what you got today
    Clean as of 05.30.2014 (4:00pm CST)

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