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Need help, encouragement, I'm scared and alone, opiate addiction
  1. #1
    Chantal05 is offline New Member
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    Default Need help, encouragement, I'm scared and alone, opiate addiction

    Hello everyone, I am crying as I write this. I have found myself addicted to painkillers once again. I have been here before, in 2006 I was addicted to Oxycontin and was on Methadone for 1.5 years, tapered completely off to 2 mgs and was clean for over three years. An injury in October quickly found me addicted to vicodin, then percocet. I had surgery and then the painkillers stopped so I had to get them other (and wayy more expensive ways). I need to be done. No one knows about this. I can't bear to tell my family or boyfriend. they have already stuck by my once they do not deserve to be put through this again. My habit is small, only about 30 mg oxy a day but I can feel myself wanting more and turning into a different person. People at work are noticing, it's just not good. I have two 8mg suboxone strips that I can use and clonidine as well.

    Please someone tell me it's going to be ok, I just needed to get this out somewhere because I cannot hold it in any longer and refuse to burden my family again with this addiction. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chantal05 View Post
    Hello everyone, I am crying as I write this. I have found myself addicted to painkillers once again. I have been here before, in 2006 I was addicted to Oxycontin and was on Methadone for 1.5 years, tapered completely off to 2 mgs and was clean for over three years. An injury in October quickly found me addicted to vicodin, then percocet. I had surgery and then the painkillers stopped so I had to get them other (and wayy more expensive ways). I need to be done. No one knows about this. I can't bear to tell my family or boyfriend. they have already stuck by my once they do not deserve to be put through this again. My habit is small, only about 30 mg oxy a day but I can feel myself wanting more and turning into a different person. People at work are noticing, it's just not good. I have two 8mg suboxone strips that I can use and clonidine as well.

    Please someone tell me it's going to be ok, I just needed to get this out somewhere because I cannot hold it in any longer and refuse to burden my family again with this addiction. Thank you.



    Chantal ...... Glad you came back and this is not out of control yet! Can you get by without the subs using the Thomas Recipe for opiate detox? It's using valium or klonopin for about a week plus some vitamins and supplements. Your 30mg dependency is not that bad. it's your emotions that are out of control. You can be done with this and feeling better in less than a week if you stick it out. >>>> and lie your way through a flu story. You can do it!

    I'm glad that you realize the potential severity of this, but you know how to get clean. I would suggest seriously that you do this as quickly as possible and don't drag subs into it with such a small habit. I work with people on subs every day, but I do it responsibly and only try to use them when necessary. I don't think you are to that point. Let me know what you think. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  3. #3
    Comeback Kid is offline Senior Member
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    Please Chantel. Listen to Robert. He knows what he is doing, he's done it thousands of times. Good luck! It gets better!
    Hi my name is Adam, i'm an addict
    "Do you have another day 1 in you?"
    “If I can't win what sense does it make to fight?” -Father Martin on Step 1
    Clean as of 05.30.2014 (4:00pm)

  4. #4
    Chantal05 is offline New Member
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    thank you for the words of encouragement. I think the biggest part of this is being so dissapointed in myself and not wanting to admit to my family. I could probably get some benzos in like a week, i have clonidine now. i have to goto work now but will write more later thank you!

  5. #5
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chantal05 View Post
    thank you for the words of encouragement. I think the biggest part of this is being so dissapointed in myself and not wanting to admit to my family. I could probably get some benzos in like a week, i have clonidine now. i have to goto work now but will write more later thank you!


    Perhaps that relapse is what you needed to get your mindset right! Most of us have relapsed, it's the nature of the beast. Just get control of yourself and do the next right thing. Staying clean is a process and not an event! Everything will work out for the best if you follow through appropriately. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  6. #6
    Chantal05 is offline New Member
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    Thanks for the replies, I have 12 pills left and I would be lieing if I said I wasn't going to take them. I am going to get through this week, get the xanax and toughen up. The hardest part of this whole things has been emotionally, you are right. In fact, before my surgery (and after it too) I would go a few days without the pills (no by choice) and never really felt any severe withdrawal symptoms, the worst was just the obsessing and craving for pills and the high

  7. #7
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chantal05 View Post
    Thanks for the replies, I have 12 pills left and I would be lieing if I said I wasn't going to take them. I am going to get through this week, get the xanax and toughen up. The hardest part of this whole things has been emotionally, you are right. In fact, before my surgery (and after it too) I would go a few days without the pills (no by choice) and never really felt any severe withdrawal symptoms, the worst was just the obsessing and craving for pills and the high
    Chanta hang in there and listen to Robert, the important thing is you made it back. Not many do. The support is here. If you have done this once you can do it again. The emotions will settle after a while. The self condemnation is no good that feeds shame and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You have a choice here, beat yourself up about the relapse or learn from it and move forward. as Robert said sometimes relapse is what it takes to make us realize what we to do. God Bless Surfdog
    Robert_325 likes this.

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