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I quit suboxone, starting to feel like a human being again
I quit suboxone, starting to feel like a human being again
Hello, My brother and I have been using suboxone for about a year, illegitamately. I weight about
130 pounds and am in my early twenties.
Before that we were hooked on Opana 40 mg (oxymorphone) and oxycodone 30 mg for about
3 years, a couple years or so for the opana though. We jumped off at about 1.5-2 mgs of suboxone a
day, closer to 2. heres my log.
Day one was pretty easy because the suboxone was still somewhat in effect.
I didnt get any sleep in the night time though, RLS was starting to set in
This is where it started to get challenging, but still not so much.
i had RLS on and off throughout the day, particularly upon sitting in
one position. I had a very upset stomach. I took potassium to what may have been somewhat of an effect,
although that could have been a placebo effect. Once again not a wink of sleep.
Day 3: Welcome to hell
This is where it got bad, i was able to fall asleep once for about 30-45 minutes in the morning.
Potassium tablets and over the counter pain relievers seem to be having no effect.
My stomach calmed down a little but the RLS kicked in to high gear, worst part for me, debilitating.
I was pretty depressed, couldn't move but couldn't stay in one place, hellish. the night was all of
that amplified, although at some point in the morning my body shut down, i dont even remember when but
i do know i got about 6 hours of sleep, miraculously.
due to the sleep i had an excellent day for half of the day, i was able to get up and go to the store
and play some games for a while, albeit only small amounts of time before i had to take breaks to pace around
to help ease the RLS, which was relatively mild for the first half of the day. although time has been moving at a
creeping pace, which scares the hell out of me to be honest. Nothing lasts forever, the second half of the day felt
more like day 3, as far as sleep goes that night its a little tricky, i was uncomforatable and in pain the whole night
and dont remember at all being able to sleep, but time kept skipping so i assume i got some small semblence of sleep.
Lets call this a reverse day 4. the first half of the day was horrible, probably the worst yet. It was the depression
that was really getting to me. My brother and i eventually forced ourselves to walk to the store for some supplements and
vitamins, mainly some L-tryosine, which the store didnt even have. we bought some B6 and some sublingual B12, some bananas,
green grapes, red bull and poweraid. The walk home about killed me, at least it felt like it, although i must admit finally
making it there did feel good. Got home and immediately ate a banana, about a half hour later i took one of those B12's,
i actually felt pretty decent, the grapes helped too later. Still cant sleep but at least the only WD im currently feeling is
insomnia, which i can handle fairly easily.
Some RLS early in the morning, although it passes quicker, it seems to be happening less and less frequently, im sure the B12
has something to do with that. I must admit i am extremely tired, but at 2 points today ive gotten bursts of energy that allowed
me to enjoy things, the burst of energy today seems to have been stronger and longer then yesterdays. We went and got some melatonin
today, hopefully itll help with sleeping, although im not counting on it. so far so good though today, could be a lot worse. The melatonin
made me sleep for about 2 hours total, 1 at a time though, seperately. i was also extremely groggy from it for a couple hours.
Once again quickly passing RLS in the morning, after that its smooth sailing, my brother and i practice playing music for a good portion of the
day. it was a pretty feel good day, besides a couple downer moments. I didnt sleep really through the night, except one hour. but in the morning i
fell asleep for 4 hours!!! i was amazed to have had a vivid dream that morning, and to have been sleeping long and hard enough to have a real dream.
ive missed dreams so much.
Woke up groggy from sleeping so much after scarcely sleeping at all through this time period, but i know its going to be a great day from the get go.
The day itself was a little slow, but it wasnt bad at all. Although that night I only got 1 hour of sleep.
I made myself do a lot of things that day, walk my dog, hang out with family. ate a great dinner, some fish cought in the mountains by my dads friend.
The day was pretty easy, the only thing that bothered me was the exhaustion from lack of sleep, but im pretty use to it at this point. This night i
got the best sleep so far, a solid 8 hours straight, beautiful.
Waking up is a little slow from getting so much sleep, but itll happen, today were going to go hang out in nature with our dad, which weve been planning
since yesterday, itll be a good day. Tired all day, but still capable of functioning. still eating decently and drinking a lot of red bull and poweraid.
slept for 4 hours that night, not bad at all.
Wasnt as hard to wake up but just as tired all day so far, still capable of functioning though... if necessary. I suffered from a major red bull crash
throughout the whole day, i think the last 10 days of slamming red bulls caught up to me, it sucked a lot. by the time night time came around though i
got a little bit of energy. I know better then to try to force sleep, even though i have to wake up at 7:30 AM to go to court with my brother. nonetheless
i managed about 3 hours of sleep that night.
Woke up a little easier then yesterday, still was decently tired though. fell halfway asleep in court, once that was over with i made sure to get my excercise
for the day, which i didnt really do yesterday cuz i didnt have the motivation. My brother and i broke down and bought a 12 oz red bull each, but it will be the
only one we have today. My energy isnt great today, but much better then yesterdays. RLS is virtually gone, if i get it while trying to sleep, its easily
forgetable at this point, very mild. no more hot sweats, no more pain. just exhaustion, so much exhaustion. but its progress, and im happy with that. The
dysphoria(pretty much the opposite of euphoria) wasnt nearly as bad today, i think it may be because we cut back on the red bull. drank only one, a couple
cups of cofee too though. i was able to take a short nap quite easily earlier, insomnia seems not to really be an issue anymore, but im not 100% sure about
that, time will tell. Got about 5 hours of sleep.
Woke up with a little less difficulty again, i feel like im almost back to normal, besides being a little drained and slightly unmotivated, nothing a little
push cant help. its not too difficult to self motivate, i did have a little bit of RLS in the early morning before i fell asleep, but when i layed down instead
of sat down it went away and i fell asleep pretty easily. This day was excellent, i felt the most normal i have yet, no rollercoaster of emotions, just an
even, normal but still good feeling. Slept for almost 6 hours that night.
Once again i feel very normal, i think this may be my last entry, ive been eating really nutritously, sleeping dcently. My emotions arent so much of a roller
coaster anymore, everything seems to be evening out.
I am surprised at how quick were recovering, theres still a little dysphoria every once in a while, but less and less and every day. My brother and i always
got suboxone illegitamately, so even at points when we did the most we never ever exceeded 5 mgs a day tops. and we were doing that about 2 weeks before we quit,
we saw the supply was going short so we quickly tapered down to 1-2 mgs a day, within about 2 weeks, and made sure to get a positive attitude about it. it seems to
me that all the people telling horror stories about getting off suboxone are the ones that came off of it kicking and screaming, without a possitive attitude. Ive
been walking in the hot sun on average about 3 miles a day since the end of the first week, that probably has helped accelerate things
Last edited by mistaclean; 08-08-2012 at 10:10 AM.
Today is day 15, i just felt the need to tell you guys that i went and partied with friends for the first time in years last night, i didn't drink or anything. I actually cooked dinner for my friends and brother, and then breakfast early that morning for all of them. Today im feeling normal again, i think besides not having quite as much energy, i am very close to being back to normal again for the first time in 5 years.
Day 16, last night i experienced some mild depression for a couple hours. I drank one beer for the first time in a year(never really been much of a drinker) and i think it was actually good for me, considering i didnt drink enough to get drunk. Today im feeling pretty normal so far, I think the depression hit me last night because im broke for another 4 days without anything to eat and nothing to drink but coffee. Having nothing but a hot drink in the middle of summer in a poorly air conditioned house is not my idea of a good time.
right now its day 18, greatest day yet. i feel more normal today then ever, theres not a bad moment in the day so far. Ive been trying to stay social, get in touch with friends and what not. It helps a lot to be social, really staves off the depression.
Hey guys, just letting everyone know that im still going strong, not sure if im helping anyone. but im on day 26 and feel right again finally, i even had to check the date of my last post to be sure of what day it was. ive been getting back in touch with friends, self motivating, all that good stuff.
Good Job Mista,
Keep fighting the good fight. It gets better every day. When you have the WANT TO, nobody can take it away from you.
COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12
"I don't like the drugs, but the drugs LIKE ME" Marilyn Manson
Last edited by ddcmod; 08-07-2013 at 02:10 PM.
hi, I actually got up and drank a 5 hr energy - cleaned up some of the house went to the grocery had creepy crawlers on my skin, i feel like i am here but not- weird but today is 75% better then yesterday, but still weak as hell.
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