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Hydrocodone withdrawal and depression :(
  1. #1
    Dgkallday49 is offline New Member
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    Default Hydrocodone withdrawal and depression :(

    Hey everybody, my names brian, im 18 and from buffalo ny. Ive been battling a hydrocodone addiction for about 4 months now. Maybe a bit longer. When i was 16 i was an addict for about 2 months before my parents caught on and got me into group drug counseling. Ive been sober for 48 hours as of right now. The withdrawal is bad, but over the course of my addiction ive went 3 days at the longest, multiple times without any hydro, and this time seems to be a LITTLE easier but not much. I remember starting out and only taking 15-20 mg to get high. Now im at the point of needing 70 mg to get there. So the past month and a half i have been taking pretty large doses every day just about. I work a dead end security job which i hate, i go to college, and i work for a volunteer fire dept. ?The withdrawal right now is bad, i can over come the physical pain with some ibuprofen but mentally i am not ok. I see no beauty in anything, im scared because i feel like without hydro, ill never be happy again. ?I dont know how to enjoy life anymore. Basically i want to know how long this depression will last. Im still craving, i have 60$ and my dealers out for the next day or 2. Im scared ill relapse when he re stocks and that il wind up where i am now all over again or even worse. Im looking for a day to day breakdown of withdrawal and just some love and support. Help me guys please.

  2. #2
    oscarcody1 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dgkallday49 View Post
    Hey everybody, my names brian, im 18 and from buffalo ny. Ive been battling a hydrocodone addiction for about 4 months now. Maybe a bit longer. When i was 16 i was an addict for about 2 months before my parents caught on and got me into group drug counseling. Ive been sober for 48 hours as of right now. The withdrawal is bad, but over the course of my addiction ive went 3 days at the longest, multiple times without any hydro, and this time seems to be a LITTLE easier but not much. I remember starting out and only taking 15-20 mg to get high. Now im at the point of needing 70 mg to get there. So the past month and a half i have been taking pretty large doses every day just about. I work a dead end security job which i hate, i go to college, and i work for a volunteer fire dept. ?The withdrawal right now is bad, i can over come the physical pain with some ibuprofen but mentally i am not ok. I see no beauty in anything, im scared because i feel like without hydro, ill never be happy again. ?I dont know how to enjoy life anymore. Basically i want to know how long this depression will last. Im still craving, i have 60$ and my dealers out for the next day or 2. Im scared ill relapse when he re stocks and that il wind up where i am now all over again or even worse. Im looking for a day to day breakdown of withdrawal and just some love and support. Help me guys please.
    Brian,

    If there's one thing I know about addiction for sure is in order to make it through to the other side, you have to WANT to get clean and STAY clean. If you're withdrawing because your dealer is out it is likely you will succumb to the urge to use once your dealer is back in business. A different approach is necessary in order to beat this disease and you must take it VERY serious. I know it's hard to realize right now because you're in pain but leading a drug-free life is extremely rewarding. To have the ability to feel emotions and not have something control your every action is a wonderful thing. We have all been where you are right now but in order to begin the recovery process you need to change your focus. I wish you the best of luck and keep posting on this site, it certainly helped myself to get through the emotional roller coaster ride.

    Best,

    OC
    shawn156 likes this.

  3. #3
    Dgkallday49 is offline New Member
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    Thanks for the help, today was day 3, its been a little over 72 hours and i feel... Decent i guess. I took some immodium to help. It definatley helped the cravings. As more time passes i feel like i want to stay clean. I think ill try and tough this out. The worst thing about w/d to me is the insomnia

  4. #4
    oscarcody1 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dgkallday49 View Post
    Thanks for the help, today was day 3, its been a little over 72 hours and i feel... Decent i guess. I took some immodium to help. It definatley helped the cravings. As more time passes i feel like i want to stay clean. I think ill try and tough this out. The worst thing about w/d to me is the insomnia
    Take a look at the Thomas Recipe... It has helped many people before you and should certainly help with some of your symptoms.

  5. #5
    Dgkallday49 is offline New Member
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    Ive done a lot of research. The thomas recipie sounds great aside from the fact that im pretty much broke and cant get any benzos

  6. #6
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    Brian,
    Congrats on 3 days!
    One of my brother's got clean at age 16 it's difficult I know but you can do it.
    I can't give you a day by day road map but I so remember the dark cloud....it's one of the things that keeps me from using.....after fighting through that and the lack of energy I never want to go there again. But first you have to fight through and it is doable.....hang in there it is now or later..do it now kiddo! Exercise, listen to music, go to NA or AA, you will meet others fighting the same battle and many who have made it to the other side. Toss the numbers for the dealers and replace them with those you get from the 12 step halls. You won't be alone.
    Best of luck!

  7. #7
    Dgkallday49 is offline New Member
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    Thanks for the support! You guys are actually making me feel alot better. Ive been considering na. Idk whats holding me back.

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    shawn156 is offline Member
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    You are doing great.The physical w/d isn't to bad,been there many times.The mental part is the hardest but in a few weeks,you will feel like a new person. We all know it's tough right now and the struggle you are going through to stop using. Just think of all the money you will SAVE from not buying the pills. I have spent my fair share of money on them to keep my habit going and glad those days are behind me. I am still taking them,but I have a medical reason why and a wife who controls my meds since I am an addict and would take my whole script in a week. I really hate taking them and wish there was something to fix my back problems so I could be clean and sober.Those little pills really mess with your head while you are are on them and during w/d. You are doing the right thing and trust me,life will get better when you get through with this ordeal. Good Luck

  9. #9
    Kikker is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dgkallday49 View Post
    Thanks for the support! You guys are actually making me feel alot better. Ive been considering na. Idk whats holding me back.
    hello Brian. i can promise u that every single person that has gone to NA/AA has had reservations about going, and most have been scared out of their mind entering a meeting. but i can also promise u that it will be the very best decision u will ever make. there is NOTHING that can take the place of those support group meetings.

    i was so terrified about going the first time i was literally shaking as i sat down. some very wise member recognized that and came over and gave me one of the biggest hugs i have ever had. i'm a pretty big guy, but this man was HUGE. he held me tight and whispered to me that everything would be just fine, and that i was definitely in the right place. he was soooo right.

    there is NOTHING better than to be able to speak to other addicts face-to-face Brian. NOTHING is better than that because they truly understand what ur going thru, and better yet, what to do about it. we addicts know EXACTLY what ur going thru at any given moment because we have all been there right where u are.

    just find a meeting in ur area and go. all u have to do is sit and listen to what is being discussed. don't have to say a word if u choose not too. sooner or later u will discover someone that gets ur attention and maybe u can approach them nd just explain ur side of things. u will be talking to the person that can help u the most i promise.

    this forum is truly awesome, but it can't get u clean, and it can't keep u clean. but those NA/AA meetings can. please do the best thing u have ever done for urself and just go to one meeting. if u find it's not the one for u then try another. u will find the right place for u.

    u will get phone numbers of people u can call anytime day or night if ur struggling for any reason. that kind of help is absolutely PRICELESS Brian.

    i hope u go my friend and congrats on the 3, now 4 days clean! that is awesome!

    Kikker

  10. #10
    BrokenAngel36 is offline Member
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    Kikker could not have said it better. I can not live without my sponsor right now. It is very overwhelming however you will find the support you need there. You will also leave with terrific friends. I have called at 2 in the morning and received the help I needed. Stay strong this will pass.

    All the best,
    Brokenangel

  11. #11
    Dgkallday49 is offline New Member
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    Thanks again everyone! Im just getting out of bed its day 4. I dont feel too bad, deffinatley getting a little better. Whats is everyones opinion on using poppy tea once a week for cravings? And im going to look for an na meeting in my area in a little bit

  12. #12
    BrokenAngel36 is offline Member
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    I google searched poppy tea not sure that would be best. I read a bit on blue light.com. Visit that site & read. Good for you on 4 days, that is great. Stay strong and please get involved in NA. They will help you tremendously. Take care. You are doing great.

  13. #13
    Kikker is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dgkallday49 View Post
    Thanks again everyone! Im just getting out of bed its day 4. I dont feel too bad, deffinatley getting a little better. Whats is everyones opinion on using poppy tea once a week for cravings? And im going to look for an na meeting in my area in a little bit
    that poppy tea can be addicting. as a newly clean addict u need to stay away from any and all mind-altering substances. i wouldn't mess with it if it were me. instead take the advice of Oscarcody and use the items in the thomas recipe minus the benzo's that are suggested. they can be addicting even if they are used as directed. and u should always check with the doctor before using any kind of those drugs.

    here's the link to the thomas recipe if u need it.....
    http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...wal-35169.html

    hundreds of people have used it here and most say it definitely helps. just remember that u just quit drugs and they don't like that. they want u back in their grasp and will do everything possible in the way of symptoms/cravings to get u back. fight those cravings and any withdrawals off. get mad, get angry at the drugs for taking control.

    stay busy and get lots of exercise to get those endorphins going....

    each day clean gets better and better i promise. ur on day 4. by day 6-7 u will feel so much better.
    iloerose and shawn156 like this.

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    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Brian: You are getting great advice here. You do not need the Benzos on day 4, those are only recommended if needed and for the first few days. Second, using another opiate, even tea, is a recipe for disaster. One of the things that we need to learn is to fight the cravings as kikker pointed out. They will lessen, though not got away completely. Stay busy and get to NA/AA.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  15. #15
    mrs franklin is offline New Member
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    hi brain my name is lisa and i have been on pain killers for 10 years the best way i got off pain meds was to go cold turkey i know the withdraws sucks i took over the counter pain relief for the physical pain in my body and sleeping aid at night and anti- diarrhea for the loose stool and drank hella water to flush my system it takes 7 days for the meds to leave your body and about 10 day total to feel a little better after that it's mental stay focus a day at a time and in about a mouth u feel like living again the only thing that keep me not want to take a pill is going threw those dam withdraws and i started going to NA meetings i been sober for 6 months that not long but it's a start i lost ten years of my life sleeping and now i want to live not exist i lost a freind to pills and depession he shot his self in the head his was only 24 years old R.I.P CRIS u will make it

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    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey, Lisa: A big woo hoo to you, congrats for choosing life instead of pills. I'm sorry about your friend. That's the price we pay sometimes: to anyone read this, you can exist and die a little everyday, or you can live. Only two things do you have to look forward to on pills: death or jail. At first those little pills pick you up and then they let you crash hard, hard. I know that depression first hand: can't let go, and can't move forward, pills make you feel hopeless in the end. Big congrats to all that have stayed the course and MADE IT.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

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    Link612 is offline New Member
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    Good afternoon to all with us on this day. I have been following a couple posts on here and one in particular invoved a lost soul whom lost her heart to addiction. I followed each and every post in this particular thread to find a happy ending. Just to have read the amount of pain and discomfort this woman had expressed, I quickly became a fan. This person was referred to as Angel. I was so sad to see you'd relapsed after almost a month of no contact with the thread. I too have endured much pain and sadness at the expense of these pills. But there was indeed a happy ending as you had found peace with rehab and NA. I see nothing but hope in these posts. I wake up and first thing I do is follow the opiate related posts. This one I am referring to combined with this had given me reason to join. I too have a lack of support during my detox. Great to see there are good people out there who can relate the good fight. I'm on day 1 after a brief 5 percocet relapse yesterday. Keep it up and the darkness will ber overwhelmed by the light soon enough. Peace.

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    bobbie1000 is offline Member
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    I am on day 7 of withdrawal from heavy hydrocodone and dilaudid use. I had 8 surgeries on my knee and a hip replacement from a car accident. I was on them for over 2 years. The depression is terrible. Wen I took the drugs all seemed right with the world. Now nothing is good, I cry constantly. I want to be the person I was before all the surgeries.....a happy one that loved to help people and make their life easier. Now life is so hard and I have alienated most of my friends, except my husband, and now my daughter just seems fed up with me. She is 35 years old and just doesn't realize what a long journey this has been for me. I need some words of encouragement that others have gone through this. I just sit here and cry while I write this. Thank You for any encouragement.

  19. #19
    pullagnm is offline Junior Member
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    Bobbie1000, hang in there. It does get better. Your mind is trying to heal its self, find the balance. Your emotions get altered, suspressed from the meds. I know how you feel, its extremlly hard, but it will get better.

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    bobbie1000 is offline Member
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    Thank you ,pullagnm. I feel better just reading your reply.When someone whose been there says there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I will believe them. I just wish the tunnel was not so far away at this time. How long did it take you to get your mental clarity back and energy? Thanks

  21. #21
    pullagnm is offline Junior Member
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    Mine tock awile and I'm still healing. I was on pain meds for 9 yrs and the last 4 on heavy amounts of oxycontin. Wish I was never prescribed that. Almost ended in a divoirce. But today its so much better. I still have days when I wake up crying and feeling so lonely and hopeless.

    It does get better, hang in there. Your family needs to understand that your brain is heeling just like your body does. It takes time.

  22. #22
    Catrina is offline Advanced Member
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    Bobbie,

    Start your own thread. It's a lot easier to find you and for you to find the posts that people write especially for you. The tab is on the home page "start a new thread" upper left corner (I think).

    Things really do get better. It just takes time and your determination. I also have a daughter and she is also 35! She's a nurse and deals with awful things everyday but probably the worst was watching her Mom abuse narcotics. I'm clean just over 3 yrs. It took my daughter time to heal and forgive me. Once you have lost someone's trust, you have to earn it back and that can only be done with action, not words. Your daughter too will take notice the longer you are able to stay clean. Believe it or not, as time passes she will notice and will begin to admire the strength you have for getting clean and staying clean.

    Addicts are not good in the patience department. We simply want to pop a pill and make things better. A big part of my recovery was to learn to be a lot more patient. Not everything can be instantly fixed. That's life.

    Good job. Keep at it and there'll be a reward waiting for you including healing your important relationships.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Last edited by Catrina; 03-31-2013 at 10:50 AM.
    james48 and gonebananas83 like this.
    "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahil Gibran (1883-1931).

  23. #23
    bobbie1000 is offline Member
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    Cat, Thank you for the words of encouragement. I spent and hour and half with my two grand-daughters yesterday at their house and came home with overwhelming anxiety. It stayed and is still here this morning.I've walked in the rain, drank chammomile tea and it won't stop beating me up. I feel like I'm going to explode. No crying yet, just walking around shaking all over... God help us all

  24. #24
    Link612 is offline New Member
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    Anxiety is a pain to weather. The most important thing to remember is that it's treatable with self-talk and realizing that it is temporary. Best way I deal with the near panic-attacks, is to just focus on everything in the "now" as the past did exist and the future may never. When you put it into perspective this way, the demons become easier to conquer. Anxiety and depression are my biggest fears and ultimately my main relapse triggers. We can't undo the past, however we can use our moments of misery as tools for gratitude. Try and find meaning and learning lessons during your "down" moments. Recovery is but a path to self-rediscovery.

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