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And here I go again....
  1. #1
    icandothis12 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    4

    Default And here I go again....

    I have battled pain pill addiction for 13 years now off and on. I was even on Suboxone for 4 years and then weaned off and was playing with pain pills again a few weeks after I was clean from sub for months. Then I got pregnant and had to stop and swore I was done. Then had a c-section and they floated in and out of my life the past 5 months. No real big supplies like before and I'd still go through a few days of slight w/d's each time I ran out so you'd think I would stop. Oh noooo..... Funny thing is, after being on sub so long, I don't really get high still from them and they usually make me really nauseous and I still want them. That makes NO sense... I'd like to get back on sub and just stay on it, a small dose forever to stop any cravings and temptations but I don't think they let you do that. I have stooped to such lows you wouldnt believe to get them. Well today is day 2 off my last batch and I spent all last night crying and anxious. Woke up at freaking 5 am wide awake. I know this drill so well. I wasn't even taking that much this last time but made it last for 2 and a half weeks so I'm sure I will feel "weird" for a few days. And most of the time, I'd throw up a couple hours after taking them so not sure if they even "registered" in my system. Now is 100 percent mental but that sucks most of all. Thanks for listening to me go on and on...... It helps to reach out.

    -Lisa

  2. #2
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    3,157

    Default

    Lisa,
    Welcome to the boards! Post as often as you need to! Just STAY away from the pills. We've all been there. You cannot use again. if you get tempted find something else to do. Someone here used to swear at the pills, get mad at them! Don't let the regret and fear creep back into your life. That will happen if you use. We've all done things we wish we hadn't. Lost time we wish we hadn't, on on on on...... But you just have to let go of it. Go to NA. You might want to post on the need to talk forum, as it gets more traffic and more people will see your posts. But post you should and often. Especially when your mind gets to playing with you. Stay Strong!

    Peace

    IloeRose

  3. #3
    wanttobemeagian is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    6

    Default I am right there with you.

    [deleted - duplicate post]
    Last edited by ddcmod; 04-05-2012 at 03:27 PM.

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