And here I go again.... I have battled pain pill addiction for 13 years now off and on. I was even on Suboxone for 4 years and then weaned off and was playing with pain pills again a few weeks after I was clean from sub for months. Then I got pregnant and had to stop and swore I was done. Then had a c-section and they floated in and out of my life the past 5 months. No real big supplies like before and I'd still go through a few days of slight w/d's each time I ran out so you'd think I would stop. Oh noooo..... Funny thing is, after being on sub so long, I don't really get high still from them and they usually make me really nauseous and I still want them. That makes NO sense... I'd like to get back on sub and just stay on it, a small dose forever to stop any cravings and temptations but I don't think they let you do that. I have stooped to such lows you wouldnt believe to get them. Well today is day 2 off my last batch and I spent all last night crying and anxious. Woke up at freaking 5 am wide awake. I know this drill so well. I wasn't even taking that much this last time but made it last for 2 and a half weeks so I'm sure I will feel "weird" for a few days. And most of the time, I'd throw up a couple hours after taking them so not sure if they even "registered" in my system. Now is 100 percent mental but that sucks most of all. Thanks for listening to me go on and on...... It helps to reach out.
-Lisa
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