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End of day 2 w/drawls. INSIGHT PLEASE- DESPERATE
  1. #1
    mokey101 is offline New Member
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    Default End of day 2 w/drawls. INSIGHT PLEASE- DESPERATE

    I posted earlier about what I'm going through and how I've taken vicodin, percs, trams, for at least 5 years when the car accidents, back pain, knee and 2 ankle surgeries began. Home detoxed 2 years and ago and absolute nightmare, but I made...until after a few weeks I relapsed. Euphoria, masking my pain from losing my mom. Pills made it all better. Now I find myself in a black hole. I checked out the Thomas recipe and it has been a lot more tolerable...until now. The xanax aren't helping as I hoped, lotsw of hot baths, vitamins, but can't sleep, concentrate, sit still, aggetated, my skin is tingling in the wirst way, etc. Does anyone know how long this might last.
    Offers are coming in left and right for pills and $$$ in my pocket, but I have not caved. I'm just looking for some extrea support because I know if I just popped a couple magic pills I would feel great. THE LAST THING INWANT TO DO! I want my life back!

  2. #2
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    How long this lasts depends on how much, what it was, and how long you've been taking it. Lots of people have made it out without xanax anyhow. Drink lots of fluids: Gatorade, OJ, will help with the restless leg stuff, you can also use hylands restless leg, potassium as in bananas. Hot baths. Try taking a walk or doing some light exercise everyday, especially before bedtime, however short the exercise it will help get your natural endorphines flowing again. Usually, the bad part lasts 3-5 days and you will come out of the worst of it, again depends what it was, how much, but that seems about about standard time. DO NOT CAVE. YOU ARE ALMOST HALFWAY THERE. POST HERE. Scream, cry, whine, whatever. That's what we're here for. But you can make this and get your life back. You know there's no such thing as a "magic" pill. You are stronger than you know and it'll be over before you know! And you'll never have to use again! HANG TOUGH!

    Peace,

    Iloerose
    stuckonpills27 likes this.

  3. #3
    mokey101 is offline New Member
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    Thanks so much again. I did go for a walk and had a cup of chamomile. I feel pretty relaxed compared to how I could be feeling. I've also been taking hot baths as much as I can and eating lots of banans. After reading the Thomas recipe I see a big difference this time. Thank you so much for the support. Only one of my friends knows and it's hard not to have anyone to talk to. I also have pictures of my mom all over the place to give me some motivation. Thanks again...having someone to vent to is extremely helpful
    Dove

  4. #4
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    You probably are old enough to be my kid. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, but I know in my heart she would be so proud of you! I know I would do anything for my son if he were in your position. You will certainly get over this and you will feel better and better as time goes on. I don't know what exactly you were taking or how you were getting these but you need to delete all your contact numbers. The motivation for you should be (next to your mom) is that you will be CLEAN. YOU will dictate how you live and not the pills. STAY STRONG. POST. Like I said cry, whine, yell, scream whatever, no one here takes that seriously and gets hurt by it, it's part of the process. But whatever you do HANG TOUGH. You will never have to use again. Dove: what a nice name.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  5. #5
    mokey101 is offline New Member
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    Thank you, Iloerose. Thank you for the kind words concerning my mom. I prefer to think that she knew it has been such a hard time for me and she would hate to see me in so much pain and have so much guilt. I'm 36 years old, but with her health conditions I lived with her until the day she died (on my birthday). I know I used these pills to put my heartache on the back burner, but it's time to face it all. Honestly, better than living the way I have been. I've been hit with a ton of emotions this week and luckily I have been up and about to take walks and make calls to get to seeing my therapist. I have also been having a lot of anxiety attacks even before I quit the pills. Saw my PCP today and he bumped me from klonopin (which didn't do a thing for me) to Ativan. I'm hopeing that is a light at the end of the tunnel that I see, ha. Even with all the pain and agony I'm at least doing well enough now to laugh.

  6. #6
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Wonderful, Dove, You are getting there. I know how hard it was to deal with your mother's illness and death, but it is also a special thing too: to be there and to be able to see her into the next world, I'm sure it was a comfort to her to have you with her, so let that be some comfort to you. I'm glad you're laughing: it's a wonderful thing to be able to feel again, the grief, the pain, the love, the laughter, all of it. Keep going to your counselor. Believe this also: the pills can cause anxiety attacks. Watch out for the benzo drugs. No need for the guilt, just face life for what it is and just begin by trying your best to do the next right thing. And you are doing it by getting off the pills now so you can live life to it's fullest. CA used to tell me that a clear conscience makes a soft pillow, and you are getting there. The past is the past and it's time to move forward. I don't know what day you're on now, but you should be feeling better and better. Let me know how you are doing! I'm real proud of you.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  7. #7
    WalkThroughTheFire is offline New Member
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    I am shocked that no one here mentioned clonodine and benzo's.

    I went through my first withdrawal on my own cold turkey without ANYTHING. Yeah, it was hell. And when I fell in to it again a year later, only this time it was for 4 weeks (but still), I was terrified and sought medical help. The first time I detoxed my doctor asked me why I didn't go in. I told her it was because I didn't know what they would do.

    Second time around, I shamefully went in and they prescribed clonodine, which virtually took away ALL withdrawal pain and makes you drowsy. DO NOT TAKE UNLESS PRESCRIBED because it affects your blood pressure. Most of us think, "blood pressure?? Eh!" But depending on your weight, heart, current pressure, it could be bad. I'm just putting that out there. The benzo's (I recommend Valium and NOT Ativan which is way more addictive and mind-f*cking) helped greatly as well. You were in withdrawal but you just didn't care.

    And obviously the diet.

    I know doctors prescribe this, but I'm going to stand firm and say do not take that suboxone or whatever the hell it's called. Does it makes sense to anyone why they would switch you from one addictive substance to another? Let's be honest why people are addicted, folks. It's because of doctors and the drug system. I'm not a conspiracy nutbag, the truth is right there. I didn't go to medical school to learn about the medical compounds in a drug, nor the various risks. But I was prescribed painkillers relatively young and no one told me it would be addictive. If you're supposed to be on it heavily for more than two weeks, don't you think they would tell you?

    Darlin, I've been there and I literally mean it when I say I feel/felt your pain. Please do not relapse again darlin. I have no idea who you are but I don't want anyone to have to deal with this. Not even my worst enemy. It is such a humiliating thing, it feels like. It gets so easy to depend on them. I had no choice but to go back on them two months ago, but only for a week and I threw the rest out. I was terrified of them. But I was in agonizing pain so I finally agreed. It was like greeting an old enemy/former lover. I call Vicodin the stripper-b*tch for reasons I won't go in to cause many would deem it to be inappropriate (and for the record, I hold degrees from a world renowned university and am a successful businessman, I just enjoy colorful language as much as "South Park" does). But I was proud that I did not crave to touch it.

    I'm still young so who knows if there will be another relapse. But keep yourself in check. Find a doctor to establish a relationship with. All will be right. It is always darkest before dawn.
    mokey101 likes this.

  8. #8
    justjess is offline Member
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    Wow! you are doing great if its day 2 and you can laugh. Hang in there! If you cave you have to do it all over again. Try to remember that. I tried to go to rehab today and their are no beds open plus they feel I dont qualify and want me to do outpt. Been through that several times and my family is against me going back on suboxone. I go for outpt assessment 2morrow. Guess we will see what happens from there. I caved in tonight and used. I know how bad trying to detox is and have it in my head that I just cant do it. Its not worth living day 1 over and over again. I hope I find the strength and determination to try again 2morrow. Best of luck to you!

  9. #9
    justjess is offline Member
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    How is it going today?

  10. #10
    justjess is offline Member
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    Went today and they want me to come to outpt mon. That sure is a long way away. They wont put me back on suboxone plus my mother refuses to let that happen. I gave in today so tomorrow I have to live day one over again. Its so not worth it. Was hoping to see a post on how you were doing. I really need the inspiration.

  11. #11
    justjess is offline Member
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    I just saw the dates of these posts.

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