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Good Morning everyone!! Today marks the 9th day in my recovery process!! I feel so many different emotions as I type this but the most prevailing feeling is happy.. Happy for the first time in a very long time. Surf and Sun- I know you guys recommended not to start new threads so I apologize- The new threads mark new days for me as I move forward in my recovery process. You guys have been such an inspiration to me- a god send if you will. I would never be where I am right now if it were not for your posts and your uplifting words. I truly mean that. So thank you a million times over!! Surf- If you're still interested in that round of golf I'm heading to South Carolina- Myrtle Beach Area in August with my family. I would love for you to join me in a round of golf if that's OK with you. I would even love for you to meet my family as you are one of the main reasons I am where I am today. Again- Only if you're cool with that. Sundwn I think you live in that area as well right?? Would love to have you there as well. Just a thought- No pressure obviously..
Just a quick update on the situation with my wonderful wife- We had a nice long talk last night as she was able to share with me what she has been feeling the past few days- We connected on so many different levels last night and it felt great!! She was the missing piece to my recovery puzzle- Her support in helping me get better means the world to me. It's amazing how we build misconceptions of people- even the people we are closest to. I've been married to her 9 years this coming June 22 and for all this time I've felt she was someone I couldn't talk to about certain things- I think that's what hurt her the most. She asked me why I felt I couldn't come to her with my issues before.. I always felt she was unable to open up herself- That she was incapable of seeing from other people's perspective. In the past it got me thinking how we ever got married in the first place since we were so different. Opposites attract I guess.. Who knows.
As for the golf league that starts tonight- I'm going- I need to go- I need to get back into the "swing" of things so to speak. Tomorrow night at 8pm I'm attending my first N/A meeting.
I can honestly say that as each second ticks off the clock the desire to use gets less and less- For those of you who read these posts and you still find yourselves stuck in that bad place- Try anything and everything to get out of it!!! What works for some does not work for others- What works for others can possibly work for you- Find what works and stick to it.
Thank you for reading- Thank you for posting-
Keep Moving Forward-
Dean, everything you have posted is all positive and I congratulate you on your process in recovery. Someone posted this several months back and I have adopted it for my on use. They said, " in thirty days it's going to be a good idea to take a pill." lol. I really liked that so I am passing it on to you. Just think man, you will never have to go through this again. So, again, congratulations on a week and 2 days. Many do not make it that far. It's a big deal bro. Stay vigilant friend. And I appreciate the golf offer, but I don't swing the irons. Myrtle Beach? Nice place. It's raining here right now......lol
LOL I like that as well.. We just started going to Myrtle Beach last summer- My wife knows someone through her part time job and he gives us a great deal on his condo/co-op down there. Not sure which one it is but it's in a nice building and on the beach. You know what I remember most about last year's trip? Trying not to run out of my vitamins so I wouldn't experience w/d on a family vacation. I was actually able to ween myself down to like 1 and half pill a day towards the end of the trip. Oddly enough I felt great when I got home but during that week I had already planned to have a shipment waiting for me when I got home.
Not this time around though!! This time around I'm going to truly enjoy that trip and I'm very much looking forward to playing golf again down there.
Seems as if it's raining every where!! What's up with this Weather?? It's rained everyday here in NY forever it seems like.. Not all day rain but always a sprinkle or something.. Crazy.
Well Sundwn- Thanks again Brotha!!! Now I get to spend the rest of my afternoon at work trying to figure out something to do- We had a half a day today with the kids but staff has to stay and either do their grades or go to meetings- I get to sit in my office- Read- Call some friends- and I guess just plain ole' relax!! You know I'll be on here reading away..
Dean, man I'm cool with just about every thing! Dog Goning to meeting be back on later
see there was a way to golf and go to a meeting. always more than two options regardless of situations tough to stop thinking in twos but need to do it. use pen and paper write down all options even negative, helps realize how many choices we have. have to stop thinking like a neanderthal. lol God Bless surfdog
Thanks for the post. I know your well past day 9 now but im on day 9. My wife too has become more aware of the situation. I have the urge to talk about my problems with her. I went and played golf on sunday myself. First time in two years. Ive been scared since the c-7 injection. That pain was so bad I never want to feel that again. (not the injection but the buldging disc). Legs were not as heavy on my morning walk into work. I drive 30 min to work, when I was using >> literally bounce into my office. Now its like im dragging a ball and chain. My first couple hours of my day seem to be fairly emotional. I love music and it seems to help. Venting hear has helped the last couple days also.
When I go home in the eveinings and my daughter comes to the door I feel a happiness that ive been lacking. So much more real then the happiness of my wife after I cleaned the house or garage, or the inlaws property because I had so much false motivation.
I can feel my body and my mind changing little by little. My mind is very confused. Happy, Sad, Angry, Sad, Happy. Music Music Music even if it makes me cry. Ive got a couple of close friends who have gone through recovery. Two years ago a good friend was revieved on the 4th of july after an OD of H. Another close friend has been clean over two years ago from roxys. They are there for me when I need them and thats so important but at the same time I feel like im reminding them of there addiction. Bringing it forward as they are trying to move past it. When I stopped smoking cigs there were stages of the process called the icky 3's. 3 days 3 weeks 3 months. After 3 days your mind tells you its ok you can stop when ever. At 3 weeks you start to feel so good you tell yourself its "ok" and again at 3 months similar thoughts. These are mile stones that scare me. Im not someone who can have just 1. Knowing this is part of the battle for me personally.
I love my wife. My 4 year old daughter means more to me then anything. I will win this battle. Ill need help.
Curtain suggest you start your own thread on need to talk. Hang in there this does get better. If you the want to, that is the most important part, not the need to. The support is here and people are willing to help. hang tight man Dog