My one week anniversary starts today.. The day has just started I know.. But today starts out as the one week anniversary since I've swallowed any pills.. I feel amazing as I sit here with my family in the backyard of my house while my wife reads the paper.. My big guy plays on his Inno-Tab and My lil guy runs around causing trouble.. I feel more awake today than I have in the past.. I feel.. More alive basically.
I'm still getting a sort of cold shoulder from my wife but that's to be expected and no.. I'm not asking her if she is OK.. lol Of course she's not ok.. She just found out the other day that her husband and father of her children was a junky for the last 5-6 years.. I keep saying 5-6 because I truly cannot remember when I really officially got hooked.. I just know it was around the time my first son was born and he's turning six this coming September.
I did a lot of research last night on prescription pain killers and the spikes in the usage over the years.. How bad it is.. How it's basically Heroin made in a lab and distributed to pharmacies across the country.. How there are Doctors all over getting fined/arrested because they keep prescribing them.. Clinics providing help in some areas of the country are over flowing with patients where they are turning people away yet I think a new CVS just opened somewhere just now.. I was amazed these past few years how fast and how often a new cvs was opening up in my area.. When I was using I just laughed at it. I used to ask my friends.. Do you think there are more Dunkin Donut shops or 7 Elevens? One of them said how about CVS?
Here's what I did in the past week to get clean of Prescription Pain Killers- I am far from a Doctor so this quick recap is not for everyone as everyone's body and chemical make up is different.. What works for one person just might not work for another.. Started weening myself off Percs.. Took my last one a week ago today.. I even had a couple of Tramadol Pills that day as well.. Total of three pills last Sunday- Monday I was able to make it to the afternoon and took one hit of Mary Jane.. Day one I had two total hits of Green. Tuesday went to work and made it through my day of work which was a huge challenge- Took a ride- One hit of Mary Jane- Two in total for that day. Was able to sleep through the night.
Wednesday I got cocky and took a total of 3 hits through out the day as I felt some signs of w/d settling in and I didn't like it at all- Then again.. Who does?
Thursday- 2 total hits to help with w/d.
Friday- One total for the day.
Saturday- One total hit for the day.
Sunday- None so far but I don't plan on having any just because I'm meeting with my AA friend later this evening and I don't think it's a very good idea to have anything in my system when meeting him..
My theory behind the Mary Jane was this- After reading what Suboxone has done to some on here I didn't want to try that.. I did not want to go to any DR and ask for something like that to get me clean. Let me be clear that is just me and only me.. Whatever you feel will work for you DO IT!!!! Everyone is different- Everyone has to tackle this their way and try new things- This is not my first time trying to get off the pills- This is the first time I'm trying it this way. Every other time I went about quitting alone with no help what so ever.
Putting the Mary Jane use aside I cannot stress this enough.. The thing that has been working for me the most is finding this blog. I didn't stop here either.. I reached out to people close to me including my wife- and I shared my addiction problem with them. The more I talk about it the more empowered I feel.. Hence the reason why I post some long drawn out stuff sometimes on here.. I enjoy typing as well so it's perfect for me.
Thank you all for reading and commenting- Find what works for you- Stick to it- Don't give in- Don't do it alone-
Keep Moving Forward-