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Coming off Vicodin...
Coming off Vicodin...
I am on day 4 maybe 5 not sure I haven't slept so it's all running into one big loop...I haven't really had many wd symptoms other than the pain they were first given to me for is HORRIBLE and restless legs *OMG* that's horrible and no sleep (I have always had sleep issues so that's no biggie for me YET) and the mental.
I was first prescribed vicodin 5/500mg for cysts/tumors on my ovaries and took them 4-5 times a day for over a year I got pregnant with my son and stopped taking them. I then had him and the cysts/tumors came back we decided on a hysterectomy during the surgery they some how managed in their words "knick" my intestines ya this doesn't feel like a "knick" it effin hurts! They upped the dosage to 10/325 after surgery to help with the surgery pain and then kept me on them 5 times a day for the pain from their "knick". My brother was murdered shortly after the surgery and they added in xanex during the day and klonopin at night. I felt HORRIBLE on these things after 3 years of xanex/klonopin I stopped just stopped I couldn't handle it anymore. Felt fine afterwards but couldn't get off the vicodin I hurt hurt hurt then I realized am I really hurting or am I "hurting" because I want the vicodin. My doctor seems to just hand them to me 120 10/325 on the dot every month I know this I have managed to NEVER take more than prescribed except a half pill more once/twice a month after like a big meal or working out and the pain was worse. But never more. I have never taken them from another doctor a dentist the hospital or anything unless I let my doctor know and he ok'd it. But I am done. I don't want them I don't NEED them but I am scared. I am sure I am through most of the wd symptoms I have 2 wonderful kids and a husband that I have hid it from probably not as much as I thought I have but tried. I have no one to talk to my doctor seems to just want to keep me on them and says I need to see a counselor for my brothers murder and that will help (how i'm not sure) so I just want to be done on my own.
I need ideas how to keep busy. I own my own business so I work constantly but I am so used to getting busy going to my purse popping a pill going back to work or slowing down popping a pill etc...I have 2 kids one school age one not so I don't have time to just be like okay i'm going to the gym (nor the money) I am just at a loss I just want to be done NEED to be done. What I can do to keep the mental cravings down, what to do for the wd symptoms that may persist idk idk idk
You're doing exactly what you should be doing. You're facing the facts and you're fighting to make a positive change in your life and the lives of your family members. This is a rocky road, of that you can be sure. BUT, you are through the most trying physical part. It will linger for days but soon, very soon, you'll see massive relief as your body starts to harmonize in a healthy way again.
To deal with the mental aspect I would name the demon in your brain. Mine is "Demon"(original, right?). I talk to it when it tries talking to me. I know his tricks. He still tries to surprise me sometimes...the car and the shower seem to be his favorite ambush sites, but I literally say aloud "Demon, back off. You've got nothing I want and nothing that will help me regardless of your promises. I'm not letting you out of your cage for anything. You're mine now, not the other way around." (or something of the sort...whatever is relevant to his demands). Making it 'real' enables you to fight it easier. When you internalize everything it is hard to commit to a consistent stream of thought...you'll have tons of overlapping inner dialogue and 'white noise' that will cloud some of your thinking and muddle your judgement. Make the problem a real thing. Once it is real it is easy to fight. You kids afraid of the dark? How do you show them there is nothing to fear. You explain the dark and show that light works to cast it out. Show them through positive reinforcement that the sun always comes and dark always gives way to light. With time, your children understand their fear and can let it go. You need to do the same thing for yourself. Understand that this addiction has a hold over you. With commitment you can learn that you are able to break that hold and with time, you'll begin to feel better emotionally. The physical stuff will just pass. I know in the first week it doesn't feel like it but it is the easier part of withdrawal...the emotional fallout is very complicated but using the strength and the tactics you develop NOW during the physical stage you will just continue to build more and more momentum and within days, just DAYS, your life will be yours again. Stay committed, be honest with yourself, and please come to us for any/everything you need. We've all been where you are and we all have things to share that might help you to gain ground. That is all we want for you. Never be ashamed, there is no judgement here. We've all suffered enough, anything we can do to save somebody else a measure of pain is our highest priority.
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