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- 2 Post By madeitthru
It can be done- my story with hope
It can be done- my story with hope
First off I want to say that I am not a medical professional and in no way am I giving any type of medical advise.
I wanted to tell my story so that it may help just one person. I have been an addict since I was around 19. I am now 30 and my addiction started in my earlier teen years where I experimented with LSD , shrooms , and so on. I am still a smoker and I will say however I will always be a strong supporter for marijuana. It helps a lot of people with pain and you never hear about someone robbing for weed or other stories.
Okay , back to how I got hooked on Prescription Pain Pills. When I was 19 , I started on meth. I LOVED it but it quickly became an addiction that spiraled out of control.
I had a hard childhood and I was out on my own as a teenager. From the outside looking in it did not change my appearance , it did not make me lose my teeth or go to jail , but I was lucky. I have been told by many that I was one in a million. But it did ruin years with my family , my relationships with friends and with ex's. When I was 25 I met someone that changed all of that and just like that and about a week of sleeping I was done with it. You have to have Will Power and really want to stop or you won't. PERIOD.
A couple years went by I was completely clean , we had a baby , got married and then stress started to happen. I had never really taken pain medication before and if I did one norco would knock me on my ass. One day my husband brought home a couple of your Hydro 10's and that was it. I found myself going to a doctor and being able to get them with ease. It was so easy to get these pills that my own doctor told me I had RA ( rheumatoid arthritis ) just to be able to write a script to me. What went from 30 pills ended up at 360 10's per month that I spilt right down the middle with my hubby. This went on for 2 years. My mom had passed and I wanted a to numb pain from things I could not cope with. You have to learn those coping skills somehow. Well as most addicts know your tolerance goes up , so my hubby was out getting them and then we moved up to oxy , roxy , oxycodone. You know how the story goes. When we would run out , we would feel like we were going to die. Over the last 3 years detoxing from those happened about 7 times so imagine the runners we would be on.
I want to say this as well , we are normal middle class people , my husband has a job worked thru all this while keeping it , my child is normal , never neglected and we are homeowners. This can happen to anyone , your not a bad person or a terrible parent just because you become or are a recovering addict.
Finally I could not take the chase of all of it , it will consume your life. People that want to get off of these long for that feeling of freedom , not having to worry if you can attend a family event , or something for your kids or keep a job , because you have to make sure you have pills. That is being a slave to your addiction and you can quit.
I started researching things I could do to help get clean , I could not afford rehab. I think rehab can be great but along with the fact that these people are getting rich from it not everyone can go. Insurances don't cover it and if they do it is a very small percent. I read posts on here about the thomas recipe , which I tried. I read negative posts and positive ones. I think at one point I drove my self crazy with fear from the things I read.
I heard about suboxone because for me the withdrawals were to much. I as a person felt like it was too much. So I went and saw a so called "trained" doctor that told me he would keep me on it for life. I thought this was a wonder drug. It can be and if it is done the right way it could work for you. This is the truth about suboxone and I don't care how many people tell you different. If you are taking more then 8mg a day your wasting your money , it has a cap in your system that anything over 8mg will not do anything for you. I have read stories of people being on 24mg a day and up , this is a SERIOUS strong drug , the withdrawals from suboxone lasts weeks , not days and I can tell you this because both my husband and I withdrew from it. On day 7 I felt like death , at that point I would have taken the 3-5 day hell of straight pain meds. Suboxone has a half life of 72 hours. So it could take you up to 3 days to start your withdrawals. But everyone is different. I could not handle that withdrawal either , so my hubby and I made a plan. It's called tapering , my hubby stuck with the withdrawals of the suboxone and has been clean since last summer.
This is how I did it. First off you have to want it and find a way that works for you. I tapered on suboxone for 4 months. I was down to crumbs and then funny thing i noticed is the .015mg I took every day then any other day would get me a buzz. Yes suboxone gets you high. Not as high as your pill of choice but it does. So when I jumped I got a three weeks prescription for oxy and oxy codone. At the end I felt really tired for about 3 days but it was nothing like taking 20 10's a day or 80 mgs of OXY. I took ambien for sleep and klonipin for anxiety and a multi-vit. I took hot showers and watched comedies.
I did not go to NA or AA or rehab , but thats me because this worked for me. I got sick of it and I wanted to be done so I quit. This does not work for everyone. Some people need help , but I believe that everyone is stung enough to quit if you really want to.
Research PAWS , Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms , because they are real. It can take your poor little brain to learn how to rebuild itself. Your going to have things come up that suck. I know that when my hubby and I have those days we talk to each other about it. It helps , find some one that understands what your going thru so you can talk to them on the days where something bad happens or when things get to be too much.
Today I feel free , clean happy and I can make appointments and be excited for birthdays and holidays because I am clean.
One other thing I learned about all of this , I do not trust doctors , they will help you get hooked and pills and drop you on your ass quicker then you can blink and tell you that your going to be fine. The medical professionals need to change this and help addicts taper.
I hope this helps anyone and i am open for questions.
Last edited by ddcmod; 03-22-2012 at 02:36 PM.
Thank you so much for posting what you both have went through,it really gives me hope,i am wanting to get off these 100mcg fentanyl patches,they are very powerful and i have read all kinds off horror stories of the wirhdraws from them.I am getting some things together to prepare myself for this withdraw,supplements and things of that nature.I wish the doctor never ever had me put these damn things on.,i have to be able to do things during the day,and that worries me the most.But thank you again for your post...
Thank you very much for sharing your story. It really helps me to read these and gives me hope that it can be done. Everyone wants me to go to a traditional rehab and I have many issues with it, the biggest being my responsibility as a mother. It was nice to read a success story from someone who is also a parent that was able to do this. It is great that you have someone to talk to that understands! That is one thing that I am missing that I still have to try to figure out in all of this...
Minivin - that is a hefty dose. Is there anyway to taper to a smaller dose before you detox from that patch? Either way, Hang in there!
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