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Adult Daughter - Percoset addiction - help?!
I'm at a loss...I don't know what to do anymore. I'll apologize in advance for any rambling......My adult daughter who lives with me is addicted to percoset (i believe it may have escalated to smoking the pills). It all blew up on Mothers day when her sister (minor) told her she was a bad mother. Resulted in a huge fight between the two of them and my little granddaughter standing by watching it all go down. I've confronted her about the drug use and possible sales of drugs going on in my house. I got the typical addict responses to everything.....told her she needs medical/proffessional help, which she refuses, other than so far one visit to her regular therapist. Initally she left the house, with her boyfriend and my little granddaughter (4), they stayed at a hotel for about a week and then one day just showed back up at home....in order for her to stay, i made her sign a contract saying there would be no further drug use, selling, violence, visitors kept to a minimum and mandatory therapy....she signed it, but, i don't think it meant sh*t to her.
She wont go to therapy, and i'm fairly certain she is still using - of course she's saying she can handle this on her own, that she's "doing better", "doesn't need rehab", and even said she was selling the drugs to "take care of her family", even though they live with me and most of their basic needs i provide. She's blaming her sister, blaming me, and her personality has changed so much i barely recognize her. She has lost at least one job due to drug use, along with MANY friends who just vanished...it is all just heartbreaking and I wish she would get the help she needs, but, she is an adult and i can't force her to do anything, except to kick her out, but, then my granddaughter is not safe.
Right now my other minor daughter doesn't even want to be at the home, she feels unsafe and uncomfortable. I work full time and cannot keep an eye on who is in and out of the house when i am not home....so here i am stuck between a rock and a very hard place.
what do i do? Call Child services and report her and apply for guardianship of the grandchild? Wait for her to crash and burn, while this deeply affects my other daughter and grandchild....and me for that matter.
GAH...i just hate all this, no matter what i do, it all hurts.
BTW - she is "admitting" to doing 5-6 30's a day, but, since she is lying about so many other things i believe that is way under the amount she is/was actually doing....and if she is smoking them, problem compounded.
elphie, If she is dealing out of your house and gets busted you can/will lose your house, confiscated and sold by the police. I would suggest child services for you daughter and grand daughter 's safety. What ever she admits to using a safe multiple is usually 3-5 times that much. At this point the only thing she cares about are the drugs. Contract or no contract she is going to do what she wants. And yes I would apply for custody of the grand child. Your daughter is headed for crash and burn and will take whomever with her. Good luck Surfdog
thanks surfdog...the response is much appreciated.
She claims to have cut way down and is trying to taper off them, but, then yesterday vanishes for hours on end and won't explain where she's been....which as we know is just a sign that things are not improving...as her mom i desperately want to believe she is trying, but, she is so involved in having her own gigantic pity party and ultimately blinded by the addiction that she cannot see what she is doing.
I've got some big harsh decisions to make here, and nobody really wins.
You are right.. Any decision you make is going to hurt.. Which decision is the best to get her help?? Users do tell people what they want to hear just get what they want.. A Fix.. I became very good at this during my time of using.. I'm not an expert.. But the quicker you make the decision that is best for you and your family the better.. Think about your grandchild first.. Young children seem to get effected the worst and it's not even their fault because the rely on the adults around them to guide them.. Hope this helps.. Good Luck..
BTW- I am a Dean in a Middle school and I unfortunately see first hand what happens to kids who have parents as addicts.. It's heart breaking because none of it is their fault!!
elphy strongly suggest Alanon/ Naranon meetings for you support there ffrom people going through the same things take care of yourself God Bless Surfdog
found more evidence in her room last night of continued use, confronted her and told her if she did not go to rehab i would involve the authorities. She's got a child and I have to protect my grandaughter..........
She said if she had to go to rehab she would kill herself, then said she was going to pick up child (at the fathers house) and leave, take her out of state and we would never see them again.........i did what i had to and called the cops/emt's. They took her to the hospital and tried to convince her to go to rehab, she still refuses....i even had a family friend offer to take her for a few days to help her detox safely, she refuses, said she can do it on her own. The released her at about 1am, she came home and slept, but, now what the F^%& do i do??? I have filled out paperwork for temporary guardianship, but, due to work i cannot make it to the courthouse until at least tomorrow......in the meantime, she is capable of almost anything, she is REALLY angry with me for calling the cops on her. i have had no sleep and corporate visitors today, so i could lose my job if i spend the day at court....(not the most understanding of employers to say the least)......
i worry about her safety and my granddaughter if she manages to pick her up from her father....i'm not sure he has the strength to do what i did and call the cops if she shows up there.
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