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I need help detoxing! I have no support :(
I need help detoxing! I have no support :(
Hi i been a lurker here for awhile and been addicted to oxycodone for about 2-3 years on and off> since about april last year i been in it daily spending about 90$ a day . my brother got into it heavy been on them for 4 yeears my mom has no hands or feet (born an amputee) and is on heavy heavy doses of pain meds. which for me and my brothers rough up bringing prolly seemed like a comfortable way out of "pain" well hes trying to detox by using suboxone wiythout professional help obtaining them off the street. i am trying to go cold turkey and have tried a few times and failed. i made it 5 days once and then i got sucked back in to it. this was a cpl months ago. ive tried 2 other times but i give in so easily pawing or giving away expensive electronics just for a fix... and worst of all my bf is in law enforcement former DEA to be exact so he cant find out.. good thing its kinda a long distance relationship.. i been seeing him for 8 months now. so I just called a NA line and thinking of attending a group but i been to those as a teen but never really affected me. I have serenity coins and stuff still as a reminder from my troubled past. i have attempted suicide in the past week. adn been thinking about it daily and i cant do it cuz ill start a chain reaction. my mom will off herselfand my brother will too. so i need help please im practically in tears over here cuz i dont knw what i can do. I do not want to go to a treatment center because i need to stay confidential and ihave a leak in confidentiality at a place before for suicide attempts at 15. ruined my whole high school experience ....
please help? i am totally weak and im doing this on my own. im a day and a few hours into it cold turkey.. im trying to get something now, but i dont want to. i had to go home sick from work. im a cashier and i was sitting in the corner behind the counter crouched up... i have to work tomorrow theres no getting out of that morning shift 7am to 3 pm and i am up al night in sweats and pain.. please help ? im so embarrassed to admit i have a problem but i finally realize it now since my good credit i worked so hard for is now being ruined because im getting worse and worsely addicted. and i get like 300$ a week extra from my bf and he doesnt know where its going he thinks hes helping me with my bills ....
oh, I meant my brother gets the sobos, not me. I dont do them and never will. I tried it once and it was worse than withdrawal symptoms. I want to quit cold turkey but i have so much stress on me daily that its nearly impossible to go more than 2 days without....
I am the last person to advise you on quitting, if you look at any of my posts, but PLEASE don't try to harm yourself again. I too have attempted suicide in the past, more than once. After seeing the devastation I was causing my family and how it would kill them if I would have succeeded in taking my own life, I vowed to never try to attempt suicide again, no matter how bad things got. I am currently struggling to even get to day one of being clean. I feel ashamed, hopeless, worthless and pissed at myself because although I want to get clean, I dont want it bad enough, and I have a 3 year old. I have hit rock bottom in so many ways in my 31 years of life. Suicide is never the answer, no matter how much hell we go through on earth. Although I am having a bad time now, if i would have killed myself years ago, I never would have been able to experience the joy of being a mom. Just hang in there, IF it gets so bad you feel like your going to hurt yourself, go to the ER. I have more than once. Nothing is worth suicide, not even trying to stay clean. You can always come back from a relapse, you cant from suicide.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I do understand what your going through completely.
i can't say i have THE solution but i remember one time when i drank alcohol all the time, started to smoke pot, and drank a lot of coffee and tried to dry out by myself, i had a siezure. So this stuff i am extremely sensitive to. It's not as heavy but apparently some people respond to lighter stuff as if it were heavier. My psychologist has told me my coffee sensitivity is that to someone taking speed. So, The best way i found out is to get medically detoxed. i have had to get that done a few times from a combination of alcohol and over the counter pills and stuff and coffee. They gave me plenty of valium when necessary and other related and essential drugs for withdrawals. It's taken a couple of years and alcohol rehab, and getting the right medication but things are pretty good now. The first step i recommend is medical detox at a professional centre (hospital even will do it). It's up to you just to ring the ambulance and tell them everything. That is what i done more than just a couple of times. All i can say is it's voluntary and confidential this way. It might work. give it a try. You will be free to leave the hospital whenever you want. Hope this helps
how ya doin matey? please keep posting, dont worry bout anyone who thinks theyre gonna get in trouble talkin to you, thats just not gonna happen.
mate, check out my thread, sub taper <2mg. weve had 3 suicides in my small town where i live (only 400 people), and i have seen the devastation it leaves behind.
even yesterday i found out about another one, like shybabe says there is no coming back from suicide.
actually i think its a gutless way to sort things out, i had someone close kill themselves when i was a youngun, and i was angry, and seen all the hurt he left behind, children and grandchildren.
how are you doing on the detox, google the THOMAS RECIPE FOR OPIATE WITHDRAWL, it has some things to help.
if you have stuggled with addiction for some time, maybe subs would be the answer for you, i know for me, they have allowed me time to sort out some heavy issues in my life, i have scars too on my wrists from silly attempts as a youngun.
it is not worth it pal. you should check out a NA meeting, there you will meet real people, with real support, you dont have to be clean yet, only the desire to be clean. talk to someone about this.
i know you said you wouldnt take subs, but they might just be the way out of this mess for you, give you a chance to work on the stuff makin you feel so down.
come back and post tho, no one here can get in any trouble for what you are doing, so what if the dea monitors this site, were anonymous. please get some help, you are stronger than you think, look at whats been goin on in your past, and your still wanting to get clean. good on ya.
youre a fighter mate, keep fighting, you deserve a good life, fight for it.
all the best
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