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Dr. Appointment 2morrow. Scared to go (Advice Needed)
Dr. Appointment 2morrow. Scared to go (Advice Needed)
This may be long but I really need the advice Im 21 now. On Thanksgiving "10" I was walking down the stairs and my grandma left her purse on the steps, when I was walking down I tripped over her purse and fell. After that my ankle and my foot start swelling but I figured It was just a sprain so I got some motrin and put an ace bandage on it. After a few weeks it didn't get better it only got worse so my parents wanted me to go to my primary care doctor. I did and guess what, he said it was a sprain but took x-rays and prescribed me vicodin for pain. Weeks went by but no change so I made another appointment wit my primary doctor December 27th he then referred me to a ortho doctor. I had my appointment with my ortho doctor on Jan. 17th he took x-rays and saw that I had a crack in my ankle so he put a cast on prescribed me 40 vicodin 5/500 mg and a refill. I had to keep the cast on until Feb. 28th. He told me if I was still feeling pain that I need to come back. But he still made me schedule an appointment to see him next month for a follow up. Which was March 15th 11. At that time me and my parents noticed my foot wasn't healing that now when walk or stand for some time I get really bad pain, bruising, and swelling But it was now radiating from my ankle to the arch of my foot and like the lower part of my leg. It was really unusual to me. So when I saw my ortho doctor he asked me to stand. but he noticed that when I stand my feet go inward instead of staying straight he then told me I have a severe condition of flat feet. He diagnoised me with Tibialis Posterior Tendinitis. Pes Planus, Hyperpronation. He said that I had ligament and soft tissue damage. And that I would have to get surgery. My next Appointment was April 28th but my insurance ran out on March 31st so I was no longer able to go to see him. He was still filling my meds because he knew the pain I was in but told me after May 26th he could no longer do that which I understood. Now here Is where the Concern comes In. In June I ran out of medication and Im not gonna lie I was dependent on the vicodin but I was still in pain. I couldn't see any other doctor cause I didn't have $80 to $200 a visit to be seen. So i was going to emergency rooms. I went twice in June. four times In July. And Once In August. I was getting 20 pills each visit and Took them as directed. 2 tablets every 4 to 6 hrs as needed. But In Aug an er doctor called me out on my ????. He then told me what I was doing was iilegal and that I could go to jail and to never come to his hospital for pain meds cause He wouldn't give them to me. And on the discharge paper It said controlled substance diversion. And he told me that Department of Justice will be contacting me. I was so so so scared and I realized This was it I had a problem and the last thing I ever want is to go to jail over pills. the next day I couldn't get what he said out of my head so I called the hospital. I talked to the lady who was there the night and she said that no one would be contacting me and I wouldn't have to worry about going to jail but I couldn't get pain meds from them again because they could lose their license which I understand completely. After that I never went to a e.r seeking meds & no one has contacted me. but on Sept 16th I was having the worse pain ever but I didn't wanna go to the hospital and I couldn't tell my family why. That whole day I stayed in bed crying. My mom who Is a nurse checked my blood pressure and noticed it was really high so she took me to the E.R. It wasn't the e.r I went to and had control substance diversion on my chart. I think my blood pressure was more high once I got there because of how scared I was. I thought they were gonna put in my social and see something about being red flagged or something But once I got checked in they asked me what my pain level was I said a 6 and the nurse said that could be why my bp was so high. they took some blood to check to see If I had a thyroid problem and diabetes but it was negative. They gave me some medication in my i.v called Dilaudid which made very nauseous and xanax to help with the anxiety I was having. The doctor was very nice to me. I told him about me not being able to see a reagular doctor because I don't have insurance or $$ to be seem. He came back and gave me a card and told me that he told a doctor about my situation and he agreed to see me. He said they were just gonna treat my foot as a sprain but when I go to the doctor I would need an M.R.I cause that can tell them whats going on in my foot. He gave me pain nd blood pressure meds. and told me to make sure I follow up with that doctor monday. Monday comes, I call they make me an appointment for October 5th. Oct comes I call to confirm they said they don't see my name in the book so I made another for the 18th. but the next day it was that time of month for me and I suspected I could be pregnant I was having these horrible cramps. I couldn't use tampons cause It hurt and I was experiencing big clots. I called my mom and she said it sounded like a miscarriage or eptomic pregnancy so i went to the county hospital. the doctor said my symptoms sounded like cysts on my cervix so he was going to referr me to the womens health clinic to get checked out. He took my urine. But when he was looking at me i got this feeling like he must remember me when I was coming to the e.r. about my foot. So i knew right then he wasn't gonna believe me about what I was feeling. The nurse called me to get discharged and he just diagnoised me with painful periods but when I asked her about the referrel she said the clinic will call me. Which they never did and now i can actually feel the cyst on my cervix but I cant blame the doctor for not believing me. Its my fault. but off that. Around that time a friend told me about medical coverage called M.I.S.P and if i fill out a application while Im pending in their system I can been seen By any clinic or hospital that is covered by them. So I did that. But on oct. 17th I called to confirm my appointment they said they didn't have me down in the book and by that time I was upset and the doctor didn't even remember who I was. So I made an appointment with the family care clinic in the county medical group that is covered by the pending insurance I have. that appointment is tomorrow. And Im scared to go because the clinic is in the same building as the hospital. What if they type my name and see how many times I've been to their e.r or any comments that doctor put on my chart because Im a new patient there. Im just so disappointed in myself because I did all this to myself and now that my pain is getting worse I fear that im not gonna get the help I need. I don't need/want opiate medication now I just wanna get this surjery done to my foot. I know their are chances that the doctor wont go through my medical record but what if he does. Should I even go to the doctor. I screwed up big time I know
Well, I have been through everything you have talked about. I think your guilt and shame are causing most of the anxiety. I am going to be very honest here. It seems to me that you do not want one doctor to know about the other because you still want pain meds or is it just embarrassment. I am kind of confused. If you do not want pain meds there should not be a problem. Doctor's who are good are thorough in assessment and through testing they will know you are being honest. A doctor who is good will treat you regardless but will not prescribe opiates. Now, you must be honest with yourself. Is the fear embarrassment or fear he will know you have an issue and not prescribe? I have done the doc shopping and er thing but have never been told the authorities would be called and never to come to the hospital again for opiates. That is very harsh.