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Vicodin Addiction
  1. #1
    wizzo01 is offline New Member
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    Exclamation Vicodin Addiction

    Hello. I am a 34 year old male. I think I am a fairly healthy man. I exercise, eat fairly healthy and get enough sleep. But I have an addiction to vicodins. I first started taking vicodins about 8 years ago when my doctor prescribed them for me for a hurt back. From the first time I took one I loved the high they would give me. Well after I finished the prescription, for the next few years from about 04 to 08 I would take them for fun every now and then, only when someone I knew had a couple which was pretty few and far between so I was not taking them that often. But near the end of 2008 my father got prescribed vicodins for his bad back and he would go to the pharmacy and get a three months supply which was about 100 pills each time he would go. So this is about the time my addiction started. I found myself visiting him a lot more often so I could go use his restroom, open the medicine cabinet and lift about 15 pills (he never noticed they were missing.) Soon I found myself doing this more and more often. Well from the end of 2008 to about November 2009 I was taking them almost daily. Then in November 2009 I was stunned to find out his doctor switched him to Tramadol. At first I was depressed because I didn't know what Tramadol was but after some research I started to lift some from my dad and found they gave me a similar high too if I took two at a time. So then I was taking Tramadol daily for till about May 2010 and then to my shock my dad one day said that he was going to get off all his pain meds. So he stopped and let me tell you the withdrawls I felt for about 2 weeks were hell! Restlessness, could not sleep at all, tossing and turning, it sucked! After that I thought it was great that he stopped because I needed to stop too. So I went from about May 2010 to January 2011 without any and then as fate would have it someone I know that has a bad back said that they get prescribed Vicodin and started sharing them with me. So I had access to them again. So I have been taking them again from January 2011 to now. Last year I would get like six here and there and then go without them for about a month and then get about six more and then go another month without them but this year for some reason now I get like six and then find myself calling my friend within about a week and a half for more. Everytime I call my friend to get more I tell myself this is the last time that I am never going to do it again but then when I run out I go for about 2-3 days without any and then my mind starts telling myself to pick up my phone and get some more. Through all this time of taking them I have mostly always taken just one at a time and space it about 6 hours and take another. Mostly just one a day though. I am too freaked out to take multiple. The high is definitely not as powerful as it was when I first started but I still feel pretty good taking just one at a time. I always justify it because I have friends who are stoners that smoke weed daily and have friends that drink daily. It is strange because everyone says to smoke weed to calm my nerves but weed makes my anxiety go up big time. I do not like drinking either because I feel too out of control when I am buzzed/drunk. Vicodin is the only thing that honestly makes me feel calm and content. I often get anxiety since I was in my 20's and Vicodin makes me feel calm and carefree. So I justify it by saying hey, they have their vices and this is mine. But I know I should not be taking it because I am not taking it for pain, I am taking it to feel good. I feel like a junky. I really want to stop. My biggest question is since I have been taking it for almost four years with some gaps in between and only taking one a day most of the time, have I done any damage to my liver? If anyone can answer this and if anyone can share how they got off it, please let me know. Thank you.

  2. #2
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Wiz you probably have not done any damage to your liver,however you are addicted and have developed a tolerance which will only get greater the longer you take the pills. Are you wanting to get off all the drugs? Dog

  3. #3
    wizzo01 is offline New Member
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    Yes I am wanting to get off. I tell myself all the time that I want to stop. I will go like 2-3 days without any and try different things to make me feel calm, like meditating and drinking green tea but then when the anxiety kicks in I feel like the pills are the only things that can make me feel normal and then I reach for the phone to call my friend for some more. Then when I have more I repeat to myself that this is it, this is the last time but it is a constant battle.

  4. #4
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    You best hit up NA and get some support. Work out, do what it takes you don't need the pills, But you need the help and support to STAY CLEAN. It's important to have someone around who will help you when you need it, but first YOU have to make the commitment. It's the only way this will work. You have to be able to say no.
    If you don't you will be caught in this vicious circle that will just get worse and worse. You are right it will be a constant battle, that's where NA comes in.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  5. #5
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    The anxiety will decrease, your body is craving the drugs that has become your normal. Again NA will be a great support and guiodance for you you are not that deep in right now stop before it cost you everythig. Dog

  6. #6
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Listen to dog, your anxiety will decrease over time. Get this under control now, YOU CAN DO THIS.

    Iloerose

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