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- 1 Post By humjez
So here I go...
So here I go...
Hello, I think I have lurked for the whole of today and finally built the nerve up to post for myself. I have had a Norco (10/325mg) habit for about five years that has steadily grown into a monster that attacks me ever single day. I want to stop but I don't want to go through the madness of wd's. I have tapered down. Well let's put it like this: I get a 90 day supply that I chomped through in about three weeks. That was an eye opener for me. I am married to a wonderful man for 10yrs in April and we have two beautiful children. I'm tired of the pill cycle and want it to be over but like everyone I am scared to death. Luckily I'm not working per se at a real job. I left my job as a nurse to homeschool my children while my husband works and is gone for unspecified amounts of time. When he is home it is wonderful and I get lots of help and support from him but I have not been completely honest with him and I want to with all my heart.
I took my son to our family dr for an upper resp infection and while I was there I mentioned that I didn't want to be taking these pills for the rest of my life. He said that's good but I felt like he wanted me to make an appt so we could actually sit and talk about it. Anyways he gave me ambien to help me sleep for the meantime. But I will most likely need to go see him next week.
I am at times a mess! Yes I have chills in fact they never seem to leave nor does the freezing hands and feet. I have gotten myself down to 15mg twice a day and I know there is much worse to come. I bought b vitamins, l-carnitine with lipoic acid, I found hylands restful legs for the rls which works actually, immodium, and of course my 7 pills I have left.
Point is I'm scared! Not only for myself but also for my kids. I have no energy whatsoever to complete our lessons and we are just getting by with the grace of God. My husband should be back for a couple days on Monday and I plan to let him know it all. My mom knows somewhat and is supportive in her own way. I just feel so distanced from everything. I feel like I need to go to my dr and see if he can give me anything to transition from these demons. This is the first drug Ive ever taken and abused. Of course I've been through wds a few times but now I want off this crazy train! It's hard and I know u guys/gals know this as I've read as many stories as I can find.
I feel I have reached the end but the beginning has not even started. The questions that run through my mind constantly : should I go to my dr for relief of we symptoms? Should I just go ct? I don't know if I can handle that. There's so many more. It I'm tired from lack of sleep despite ambien
I just don't know right now.
I know I just registered but I would really appreciate some feedback. I hope I posted this in the right place even.
Originally Posted by TheEndYet?
Originally Posted by TheEndYet?
It's been a quite weekend for this board, I am sure you will your questions answered soon, just keep checking. I am an addict, have been for the past 17 months. I take anywhere from 10-18 pills a day. Vicodin, percocet, roxicet, as long as it is a painkiller I have taken it. I have been trying and trying and trying to quit only to find myself throwing in the towel after a day or two of going cold turkey. I want my life back. I am tired of this roller coaster ride that leads to hell and it sounds like you are too. You did the right thing by mentioning this to your doctor and if I were you I would schedule an appointment to meet with the doctor so you can discuss your options.
I am going to do this cold turkey and do my best and try my hardest to deal with the WD's. At least when you do it cold turkey the worst will be over within 5-7 days. I ruined my relationship with my gf, have gone into debt, maxed out credit cards, lied and stole all in the name of pills. Not that it matters but I come form a good family, college educated, grew up in a not so bad area and this is where I am now. I thought I would never become addicted, I thought I would never steal, I thought I would never take such a high number of pills but my life revolves around pills.
I'm just really tired of this. I have so many things I want to accomplish in life and I am not going to do it while on pills. My story is out there if you want to read it. Its under the "need to talk" forum and its called "I'd like my life back." I think you should keep posting your thoughts, feelings and what you decide to do. There is a lot of great support, advice and guidance on this website, its just sometimes quiet on the weekends.
Well hi! Thank u for responding. U know I actually think it does matter about the home. I come from a good environment and I'm telling u they would be shocked! My husband will be home today and I am nervous about telling him but I'm going to do it. I have did some crazy things myself, spending our last bit of money or lying about where it went.
I actually have done quite well with these wds. Yesterday I took 20mg for the whole day and I was ok. I'm waiting to see what today has for me. I'm not taking anything so I'm a little nervous. Yesterday I did manage to clean and wash clothes. I did smoke and that seems like it helps a little at least for the mental stuff.
Good luck to u and I pray that u succeed and stick to it. It is great to actually be honest with someone btw.
If you want to stop you can stop! It's not easy but it gets better with time. For over 3 years I was using Vicodin, Percocet, Fentanyl and Oxycontin. I also took Ambien for sleep. On 12/13 my partner found out my secret and told me to stop or she'd leave me......so I stopped. I had about 7 rough days, although Immodium, Gatorade and lots of water helped. I tried to stay busy and not think about the withdrawal's too much. It took me close to 3 weeks to start sleeping well but now I'm getting 6-7 hours every night. All the discomfort of withdrawals were worth it, I feel like myself again.....I had forgotten who that was. I had stopped dreaming, stopped being the creative hopeful person I had once been and that person is coming back. I didn't even realize how much I had changed until I stopped using and got some perspective. Tell your husband so that he can support you. I don't think home enviroment has alot to do with drug abuse. I was raised by a teacher and a cop. I never used street drugs and for a long time thought I wasn't an addict because I didn't use street drugs. Addiction is addiction, regardless of your education or drug of choice. I am educated and have worked in healthcare for nearly 12 years. I still became an addict.Good luck to you!
it hard for moms
I feel your pain girl. havin kids and dealing with pill addiction is so very hard. you can do it, i just came off an oxy, vicoden, morphine habit and it was hard for the first days but that is not the hardest part. staying clean and not taking pills when things get hectic is harder. Hectic days are a part of every mothers life and we need to learn not to rely on the "pill crutch" as i have learned to call it. Even on pills i didnt have the nrg to keep up with my little ones and now it even harder but ya know what at least they get a sober tired and even a little cranky mom but thats better than a mom who is medicated. it will be a journey that will last more than seven days but just take it one day at a time and when thats not enough take it one hours at a time. good luck and i hope this helps some.
No problem and I will plan to follow your thread and try to help you out as much as I can. Glad you didn't feel any WD's yesterday but it was because you used. How did it go today, did you use anything? You will feel like poop for a few days but it will go away. The sooner you decide to get off this roller coaster ride the faster you will start to feel better and get your life back.
Originally Posted by TheEndYet?
You want to do this together? I am here for support. My thread is under "Need to talk" its called "I'd like my life back.." Were all here for you, you are making a great decision in wanting to get clean. Best investment you will ever, ever make. Talk to you soon.
I'm Ok today although I feel like I've been hit with a train. Everyone is saying wow u look....tired and like you've lost weight. My only response is yes. I can't really manage more than that. This ambien is kicking my but tonight. I'm going to have to tune in tomorrow
Best of luck and my prayers are with u.
Hi...I am new to this board also. I also want to kick my habit. I was taking as many as 5 perc 30's in a day. I have weaned a bit down but tomorrow morning will most likely be in full withdrawl. I plan on using the Thomas recipe minus the benzo's. Please keep posting...there might not be replies but someone like me or even you who was lurking may see it and use that as inspiration to take this leap.
I also have two kids. One 12 one 5. I am scared what it will be like for them for the next few days but can it be worse then what they have when I am coming down from my high? I dont think so.
Anytime you think you might break just think of them and the "old" you and know that that person is still there and she will win this battle!