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single mom needing advice on tapering down off of Oxy Neo
  1. #31
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    ruff night... bad day already today.... just trying to stick with my plan... even tho it doesnt feel like i have any support.... its probably just all the messed up head space im in but all i'n hearing from those that say they are all about supporting me is that i have to be there to help them deal and cope with the fallout of my addiction and forget my needs or if i'm even able to cope with this additional stress.... just trying to keep my head on straight and not take enuff pills to make me feel nothing....

  2. #32
    almosttoolate is offline New Member
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    Mira,

    You're not alone. 7 days ago I was feeling the same things you are. Reading on this forum helped me a lot. Just have to have your mind set and strong and hang tough. It's not easy, but if you're determined you will get thru. I'm now on day 7 after 5 yrs of use and haven't felt so great in a long long time. With each passing day it will get easier and easier to deal w/ the physical w/d symptoms. Good luck and stay strong. The calm after the storm is well worth it, I promise you!!!!

    Take care friend

  3. #33
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    thanks...

    i keep checking the clock to see how much longer to my next dose...

  4. #34
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    this day,... not so good... i want nothing more than to relapse like its retro 80s night....

    not long to my dose now... grrr i hate this.... i feel sore and tierd... i want to go soak my head n "da nile"... ok enuff of the pity party... on to the next....

  5. #35
    Kikker is offline Advanced Member
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    u need to keep busy so those thoughts are not there so much.
    get out if possible and go for a walk.
    watching the clock can lead to trouble in a hurry.

    u have to WANT THIS real bad!
    more than ANYTHING else in fact.
    it's certainly not easy.
    bit u CAN do it.

    get mad at those drugs for messing up ur life.
    think of all the problems they cause.
    and how ur life is on them.

    watching the clock to dose is NOT a good idea.

    staying busy is key.
    exercise and listen to music.

    anything just don't use!

  6. #36
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    thanks... seriously it helps to just see the thoughts written down to remind myself of all the reasons i want to get clean and all the disasters that using has caused.... trying to stay positive.... sometimes bad humor'd sarcasm is the only defense i have left...

  7. #37
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    made it thru to my afternoon dose... here starts a new day.... 24hrs or whatever...

    deep breath... paste a smile on my face, fix my hair (cause i look like i slept on it) and take my daughter out for some retail therapy.... there is nothing a new dress or a portable hard drive can't fix (i'm waffling between winners and staples...)

    big smile out to all those fakin it just for the chance for it to be real one day!... jokin again lol at least my sense of humor hasn't left me!
    Eileen67r likes this.

  8. #38
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    ok, still no sleep...

    friend told me to try something new for times like this... so i did and it seems to help... we are all adults here.. masturbation... no one ever explained to me how an orgasm can help with w/ds before, and i'm not real sure on the science behind it but it might just be the ticket to help me over the ruff spots!..

    anyways here's hopin for some ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzsssssss

  9. #39
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Chamomile tea. melatonin. hot bath. You are going to have some w/d between drops. What I've read so far is that every time you drop you are experiencing some w/d symptoms. Don't mean to be negative, just real. You just need to be prepared for those drops. I wish you all the luck in the world and hang tough through the drops.
    Yes, everytime you drop, you're head is going to mess with you. You need to stay in the game and stay committed to getting clean. Hang Tough.

    Peace,

    Iloerose
    Krazedkat likes this.

  10. #40
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    thanks! i did manage to get some sleep... even slept past my dose time wich i like... it takes about 2-4 days before i have any serious discomfort from a drop.... is this because of the new formulation of the oxy neo's???

  11. #41
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by almosttoolate View Post
    Mira,

    You're not alone. 7 days ago I was feeling the same things you are. Reading on this forum helped me a lot. Just have to have your mind set and strong and hang tough. It's not easy, but if you're determined you will get thru. I'm now on day 7 after 5 yrs of use and haven't felt so great in a long long time. With each passing day it will get easier and easier to deal w/ the physical w/d symptoms. Good luck and stay strong. The calm after the storm is well worth it, I promise you!!!!

    Take care friend
    just wanted to take a few minutes and thank you for your support... yesterday? not a good day... but with the support of everyone here and spending my time reading about others here on this board that are stuggling with simillar issues has helped me make it thru another day without changing my plan or falling into a relapse... BIG THANKS!!!!!!!!!!

    i was a bit negative and angry yesterday... as well as feeling desparate for something to change... but i didn't fall into using like i really wanted to... i cracked off wise about all the cruddy stuff running thru my head and got thru it... today i feel great! i have plans with my daughter and i'm really looking forward to me when all this is past, and i can look back on these days and see that i was able to accomplish my goals! i have always had problems with following things thru... too many times in life i have just thrown my hands up, and given up any self control i had... now, i'm a mom and that crud is no longer an option. my daughter deserves all the best i can give her... and that starts with a sober mom!

    thanks again everyone for putting up with my random ramblings, and my negative cow-turds yesterday...i'm staying on track, and with your continued help, i will beat this and get my life back!

  12. #42
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Just wanted you to know that's normal, nothing new. I'm so glad you're feeling better today. Go ahead: Be negative, make cracks at the w/d symptoms: It's good therapy and that's what this board is all about. I really admire your spirit and how you are sticking by your plan no matter what! I have good feelings that you will get through this. So, keep rambling and honestly say what you feel.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  13. #43
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mirabellesmom View Post
    thanks! i did manage to get some sleep... even slept past my dose time wich i like... it takes about 2-4 days before i have any serious discomfort from a drop.... is this because of the new formulation of the oxy neo's???
    Probably not from the oxy neo's, that's about the time the worst of w/d hits for most pill opiates. You have about a 24-48 hour window before the storm, so to speak. It is what it is. You are just going to have to be prepared for this.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  14. #44
    Kikker is offline Advanced Member
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    hey mirabellasmom...doing any better now?

    iloerose said everything i was going to say.
    she nailed it perfectly.
    she's a very wise member here among others.

    as u reduce ur dose ur gonna feel some discomfort.
    just deal with the symptoms.
    they are never fun, but manageable...
    and necessary.

    ur mind is gonna fight ur body all the way.
    the drugs are so devious.
    they will try any and everything to get u to use one more time.

    hang in there.

    u have to remain firm...
    u have to deal with the symptoms as they come up...
    u have to believe in urself at all times...

    U HAVE TO WANT IT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE!!!
    iloerose likes this.

  15. #45
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    ok, thanks... i have been down this track with the oxy contin and the w/ds are different with the neo's... they just are... the w/ds start sooner and are more intense with the neo's, and i find it harder to keep my emotional equillibrium... but i have never done a concerted taper with the contins so perhaps its simply a symptom of doing this the long way... i have to say, tapering down is harder than c/t has been for me... maybe because it was a single decision to stop and just make it thru the first week and then move on with my life... where as tapering requires making that decision every day and sticking to a long term plan... anyways, thanks for the input and the support... i WILL make it this time! and stay away from narcotics for as much of my life as i can... my dr. says that i may need to consider going back on a narco regime later on when the degenarationin my feet spreads up the rest of my legs... already my knee is falling apart... but i have been lobbying to get mobility support instead... i'm not ready for a wheel chair but if i can talk someone into helping me buy a scooter so i can get around without walking, it will let me keep the use of my legs longer...

    it's kinda ridiculous that the system would rather i be on a regulated pain medication regime instead of helping me exist without narcotics... i will have to fight with my disability social worker and cut thru miles of red tape and jump thru dozens of hoops, just to stay off the pain pills... and unfortunately, i have severe allergies to NSAIDs and anything containing ASA so my only choice for medicinal relief IS the stupid narcos... i'm hoping that someone in the circle of medical practioners i see will be able to point me in the direction i need to take to put my hands on one of those scooters... i borrowed one from a friend for a few weeks and it made such a huge difference in my life... just the ability to pop down to the store or go out for a coffee without having to think about how much this will cost me in pain and time needed to recooperate, was a huge relief... why is the system set up to make it so hard to get by without taking those darn little pills??? it just burns my butter to think that they would rather have me going to a methadone clinic and dealing with children's aid workers and all the other issues of being addicted instead of providing an easy alternative.. i know these scooters are expensive, but its way worse for me to be all addicted and dependant than it would be to have to deal with life sitting down... i could handle the stares and the difficulties with getting around non-accessible places... i just want to have an active life without having to depend on chemicals to keep me moving...

  16. #46
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    and one other thing, the last time (few times) i was taking the contins, my use was coniderably higher than with the neos... 5-6 80mgs everyday.... at least! and i only got up to 2 and a 1/2 on the neos before i realised that i needed to stop this stuff... again... i have way to much to loose to throw my life away now... my daughter means the world to me and it would kill me to loose her for ANY length of time!
    Krazedkat likes this.

  17. #47
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    I wrote a reply to you yesterday, but lost the post, I guess. I hope you're hanging in there. I looked up oxyneo and couldn't find anything except that they put a harder shell on the covering so people can't snort, smoke them, etc. I hope this morning finds you going good, Mira. Maybe you can check with the places that sell those chairs and find out if you would qualify for one. Are you taking a legal prescription? You do not want to go one methadone maintenance anyway, even apart from the children's services. Methadone has a much longer half life than oxy. If you stick to your taper and just deal with side effects you will be o.k. You've come so far! Hang Tough.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  18. #48
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    thanks, its been a tuff go this week and i'm not expecting it to get easier... walking is hard today... just have to remember how to tuff it out... i used to be really good at this! i could push myself hard and just cope with the pain mentally... as soon as i started relying on pills again, i lost that ability... HAVE to get it back!!!

  19. #49
    Kikker is offline Advanced Member
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    i realize ur having some issues.
    and walking is very difficult for u.
    sure hope it gets better.

    not sure about the scooter.
    can u possibly rent one for a while?
    or borrow it again from ur friend?

    u have to try and remain vigilant.
    stay strong and keep a positive attitude.
    do what u can to get through this.
    don't let the drugs beat u.

    i believe in u right now.
    u have courage.
    u have strength.
    u want this bad enough.

    tapering is sooo difficult to do.
    i give u full credit for even trying it.
    it takes so much strength and courage to taper.
    and ur doing it right now.

    i could NEVER taper.
    i would always gobble the pills if i had em.
    i had to ct each time.

    ur giving it an honest effort.
    and it's working for u.
    please keep going....
    and hang tough.

    it WILL get better.

    keep looking at that beautiful daughter.
    and know that she needs her momma at all times.
    that alone will give u the push u need.

    she's totally worth the effort.

  20. #50
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    oh dear! you made me cry!

  21. #51
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    my brain is trying to convince me to take my dose early to get Thanksgiving Dinner on the table.... but my innate laziness and hard won stubborness are winning! hope every one is OK with take-out tonight!!!

  22. #52
    Kikker is offline Advanced Member
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    i didn't intend to make u cry.
    ur just doing so well and i'm proud of u.
    be proud of urself.

    like i said, those drugs are so devious.
    try to get to u at all times.
    keep fighting.

    take it early this time and u will the next.
    stay strong.
    u got this!

  23. #53
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    just having one of those days where i'm prone to tears.... time and talking will get me thru it... so i will probably be poppin back here to babble alot right now! lol

    hugz everyone!

  24. #54
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    yup, as you decrease your emotions are coming back. Ummm, did that mean you're bringing takeout for everyone? Chinese sounds good to me. Or whatever. LOL. Just take care of you. That's priority right now. Your pain may be more intense at this point because your body wants the medicine and going: oh dear, oh dear, i need the meds. Just your head screwing with you. You will also feel less energetic anyway, just one of the w/d symptoms. It will all even out in time. Just stay the course. Post on here, cry, get angry, just ramble, whatever. That's why we're here. Oh, yeah, and thanks for the take out.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  25. #55
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    actually thinkin Japanese but deffinately the orient... my stomache isn't taking to food real well atm so im thinking something really easy and innoffenive like vegetarian maki and some meso soup... will get ya'll what-eva ya be wantin! lol just trying to take some of the pressure off myself.. i'm only human, this is hard and there is only so much a person can take before they crack... i have to be responsible for myself and not try to do everything and be everyone for everybody... i know i put more pressure on myself than anyone else... no one but me really expects all that from me, but i do... i need to be everything i want to be for everyone i love... that way, if i'm consistant and dedicated, one day it will just come naturally... i know that no one is perfect and alot of my habits stem from my need to compensate because i know i'm just a high functioning addict... i know it wont be easy, but i'm going to get MORE out of life once i'm done with the pills... i wont be able to be as active, but i will be more present and remember things better and i wont be wasting any of my energy on thinking about using ... and finding ways to hide my usage from those i love... and pretending to myself and everyone else that i was doin fine, coping well and that there was nothing wrong with me.. i know now that no matter how much i'm doing FOR my loved ones, it wont count untill i'm doing it for myself...

    much love to all!!!

    P.S. this Thanksgiving i have alot to be thankful for... my beautiful daughter, my loving and supportive mom, and all my new friends i've met here... it means so much that you take time out of your life to help me thru this mess i made for myself..a friend of mine once told me that there is nobody more self-centered than a recovering addict... i don't want to be that person. so my gratitude to all of you and may a white healing circle of protection and love surround you and your loved ones. from my heart to yours, Blessed Be.
    Last edited by Mirabellesmom; 10-07-2012 at 04:20 PM. Reason: sp

  26. #56
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    I don't believe that about no one being more self-centered than a recovering addict. Perhaps that friend meant something else. You won't be that person. In order for you to be the person you want to be you have to cut yourself some slack during this period of getting the drugs out of your system. You have to. You have to do the best you can by others, but you need to put yourself and of course your daughter at the top of the list. Everybody else..... well they can wait for now. YOU have to get through this in the best mindset, doing the best that you can to push forward. THAT is what will matter in the long run. And jeez. the japanese sounds good, but I just made bean soup, as it is getting really into fall here. Take care of you, one day, one hour. Thank you for your kind words.

    Iloerose

  27. #57
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    Had a lovely dinner with my familly and a good nights sleep. even slept past my am dosage time... i did wake up actually, just talked myself into rolling over and going back to sleep instead of getting up and taking my dose.. i like it when i sleep past my dose in the am and i like trying to put that dose off as long as i can... gives me back a small feeling of control...

  28. #58
    Kikker is offline Advanced Member
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    that's so nice about the dinner.
    sounds wonderful.
    time with family is always precious.

    glad u had a great night's sleep.
    that certainly helps.

    it's a huge victory to miss a dose.
    leads to positive thinking...which u need at all times.

    keep right on going with ur plan.

    u CAN do this!
    u ARE doing it!

    proud of u!

  29. #59
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    You're getting it, Mira, you're in the positive! I still missed my japanese . But I'm so glad you're doing better. You are in such a good mind frame, as Kikker said, YOU ARE GOING TO DO THIS, HANG TOUGH.

    Peace,

    Ileorose

  30. #60
    Mirabellesmom is offline Member
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    thanks! just wanted to say, im not going to do my drop tomorow... i'm not feeling totally stable so i'm giving myself till thursday... if i feel better about it tomorow then i will drop on wednesday, but no latter than thursday... don't be disappointed in me..

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