| || |
Oxycodone Cold-Turkey Diary
Oxycodone Cold-Turkey Diary
It's almost midnight here in Mountain View, CA. I just took 30 mg of Percocet in a futile chase of that final high and flushed my remaining pills. Tomorrow I will voluntarily go cold-turkey from a 3-year, ~100 m.g. daily Oxycodone habit.
It all started off so similarly to so many on these forums. My wife was prescribed Percocet three years ago to manage pelvic pain resulting from the birth of our daughter. Because they are so devilishly pleasurable she'd sneak me a few here and there to heighten our days. Of course, and as you all could have predicted, this rapidly spiraled out of control. My wife was able to stop; I was not as strong.
Three years later and now with back problems of my very own I need to take 100 m.g. daily just to be able to get out of bed, go to work, and be a good father to my little daughter.
I must have done something right in a previous life because thankfully my back problems have subsided and I don't need to manage my pain anymore. Now I just need to stop taking these damn pills.
I've flushed the rest of my supply, made sure I don't have any more around the house, and am eager to go through withdrawal and get it over with. However after reading everyone's withdrawal stories on here I most probably will change my tune once I'm in the midst of my detox.
Wish me luck! Any tips are appreciated. My doctor is aware I'm doing this and prescribed clonidine. Hopefully that will make it less terrible.
P.s. I originally posted this in the wrong section of these forums. This one seems more appropriate.
Hi freyed, Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your decision to be free of the pills. You should be over the worst of the physical wd's in a couple days, then you need to deal with the mental aspect. The more you can prepare yourself for that, the better your odds of success will be. Here is a link to the Thomas Recipe that really helps with the wd's. Keep us posted on your progress.
Thanks for the welcome and the link!
I've tried to quit before but have been unsuccessful. Mustering up the will power to leave the pills alone is tough enough, but when you throw withdrawal symptoms, job and money fears, a high maintenance toddler, the ease of getting my prescription filled, and what-have-you into the mix, it becomes nigh impossible.
Having said that, this time around I've been preparing for this moment for a while and I feel blessed that I've been able to set things up this way:
- My doctor is very understanding and has prescribed me Ambien, Xanax, and Clonidine to reduce the severity of the withdrawal symptoms and to allow me to get some sleep.
- Before my planned quit date, I interviewed with various other companies in other states (far away from my dealers, including my doctor) and am starting a new, better job in a month. This allowed me to quit my job last week and have no work responsibilities and no fear of losing my job.
- I've saved up enough money to hire a nanny to take care of my daughter while I am just holed up in the guest room.
- I've saved up enough money to hire a maid to support my wife so I don't feel guilty about leaving a mess.
- I've saved up enough money to live for a month until my new job starts.
- My wife is fully on-board and supportive of my effort.
Jeez, most of those points are about money, huh? It's going to be expensive to get clean, but at this point I am more than willing to do anything.
I really feel like this time I have a shot at getting clean; hopefully that isn't just addict talk either.
My major concern is what'll happen after I beat the physical dependence. I'm terrified of having developed a psychological dependence on these pills. Not having gone with my little boosters for the past three years has made me forget who I really am. I'm not looking forward to meeting the old me.
I'd love to hear all your stories about how you've successfully gotten your lives back on track after breaking the physical dependency.
So that's some of my story. Withdrawal so far hasn't been too bad, more like a bad case of the flu. The worst must be the burning, restless sensation in my legs. Even with my pharmaceutical crutches, sleep is restless and not restful.
Hiring a nanny is the best thing I ever did. On previous attempts, my sudden irrational fury when my little girl just did normal little girl things, and how lonely, bored, and scared she was just made it so easy to pop some daddy's little helpers.
However I'm not fooling myself into thinking that it won't be so bad. It sounds like the first day is the easiest, and that day two through four are much more difficult. But I am prepared to pay that price.
Some questions for you all:
- Is a 100 m.g. daily habit pretty nasty to withdraw from?
- What is life like one to two months after stopping?
Frey, That's the hardest part: Learning who you are again. It's scary. Many people go to NA, CR, whatever, because everyone understands and knows what you are going through. But you will meet YOURSELF again and you'll be surprised what you find when you are clean. The fear is worse than the reality (easy to say, I know). As far as the 100mg., depends on the person, but it's totally doable. Just have to be determined, really HATE those pills. It will be hard at first to be without your "crutch" that's why NA, or some other group is important. You will go through the mood swings, etc. but you can get past them. However, really, NA or CR helps. Always remember that addiction is an equal opportunity disease: doctors, lawyers, teachers, engineers, factory workers, to people on the street. We're all addicts and always will be, even when we aren't active in our addiction. Fellowship is important to recovery.
Post here, even after you get through the w/d. Maybe make a thread on "need to talk" which gets more traffic. Always: HANG TOUGH.
Tags for this Thread