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Opiate Addiction-need advice
  1. #1
    DreamALittleDream is offline New Member
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    Default Opiate Addiction-need advice

    Hello. i am a new memeber to this forum but i have poked around on this site and many others like this when I am feeling down. I have decided to tell my story because I get hopeful when I read other threads and I am hoping their are people out there that can give me some advice. I guess I should start with my story first. I am a young female, 23 in August to be exact and I have been addicted to opiates for about 3 years now. I started dating a guy 4 years ago and we got addicted together I guess you could say. It started out small, his mother had a prescription to vicodin and that's how we first started taking them. It didn't happen fast, we could go days or even weeks at first without taking any. I didn't see how people could get addicted, but the more we took vicodin and the more people we met that sold rx illegally, the worse it became. We became a garbage can for opiates, whatever we could get our hands on, percs, vics, oxy, morphine you name it. Never >>>>>> I can say that though. It got really bad when we moved out together and my boyfriend went to a doctor for back pain. After xrays & c/ts it came back that he had spine abifida accolta (sry for spelling errors typing in a hurry) and that's when our lives went down hill. He got started off with vicodin and in the 6 months he was seeing this doctor he was able to get 60 15mg Opanas and 180 7.5 percocets for breakthru. He told me his Dr literally took out a pill book and said, "what do you want?" It amazes me that over a span of 6 months he was able to get these strong of meds, and with the DR telling him he had this condition, it only made it justifiable in his head that he needed these meds for pain treatment.He was only 21! I knew we had a serious problem when refill day felt like Christmas, every month. When his refills would be out I expierenced hororible w/d's, especially in my back. I believe I have a worse time with pain during w/ds cause I was in a car accident at 17 that broke my pelvis and required a stint in the hospital and it seems exponentially worse with pain when I am out of pills. I never went to a Dr for pain before the addiction because I knew OTC drugs would help, and at that time they did. Now I feel like it has snowballed out of control. He was put on pain management where the new doc looked at his rx history with disbelief, even the pharm techs at CVS, I think were confused how this young man got on these meds. needless to say after he got cut off the meds, we started having to acquire them illegally more and more. I wish I had just one pill I could say I abused rather than any opiate I could get my hands on, but unfortuantly I have to admit now that I am a junkie. I cannot afford to miss work, (I am a bartender and i am on my feet all the time) and I need to be able to pay my rent. We have tried the at home detox and been succcesful a few times but the longest our sobriety lasts is a couple weeks and then we stumble accross them again. I have even taken off a week of work saying that I was going outta town, just so I didn't have to go into work while W/D, I absolutly dread w/d while at work. It is so hard to get energy and not to sweat and shake and sneeze while talking to customers. Not to mention I have always been an anxious person and while w/ding I experience TERRIBLE anxiety. I guess I came here to seek advice from people that have been there. I have heard of the Thomas Recipe and I am always willing to hear peoples advice when it comes to an at home detox and what helps them. I do take immodium and when i can get my hands on xanax i buy them to help me sleep. I want to make a full recovery, and getting my boyfriend on board for this has been a feat in itself. I want my life back, I was a straight A student, athlete and I have am amazing family that I don't want to loose. I told my mom about the problem but I know I didn't stress the severity in it. I honestly don't think she thinks its as bad as I say it is. She doesn't think her sweet baby girl would ever do anything like that. I dunno I am sorry to ramble, my head is full of mixed, jumbled thoughts and I am probably not making any sense. I took my last dose of opiates at 5 pm today and I feel like ???? now and I know with my double I work tommorrow I am going to be feeling it even more. What has helped you guys in similar situations to detox? I know if I can make it past the initial 4 days I will feel a lot better. I have let myself go to far, and I need some guidance. Sorry to bother, I am starting to feel like the relationship I have with my boyfriend will never be the same as it was when we first got together. I resent him somewhat for being such an enabler and not supporting us as much as we should. I just feel trapped.

    p.s. going to a doctor is out of the question, for me atleast. I just got health ins. and I am way too scared to admit to anyone the problem I have. I know doing it at home and not seeking professional help isn't the best way of doing it but I just cant bear the thought of my entire family finding out.

  2. #2
    Sundwn is offline Member
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    Default

    Dream, you are not rambling. You are being honest and telling us your history which is absolutey imperative if you want help. Believe me when I say the help you want is right here. You have come to the right place. You say u have been using for around 3yrs. But you haven't said how much you are using on a daily basis. So, what is the answer ? Are you using daily? If so, how many pills a day, or better yet how many milligrams a day. Since you are using different varietys of meds. You can get off these things dream, you already know this and have done so. What I am hearing is that ( and this is what we all suffer from in our addiction ) is staying off them once you get through the WD,s. This is where you are going to have to seek an " aftercare " program such as NA. Meetings to remain clean and sober. I ???? you not, without some program this yoyo will continue. Your boyfriend also. But that's a different story. It's YOU that is asking for help. So lets see what we can do to get you clean. First ....daily? Milligrams?...

  3. #3
    thekid0138 is offline Member
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    Default Hello

    Hi dream i have also been going through alot to try to get off roxis and alotof other meds it is very hard i know that for sure i am on at least 300-400mgs of oxycodone a day so that is a problem if you want go read my threads that i have started and you will get a history on me also melinda and robert have alot of very good advice so it will be alot of help to you and i have alot of good advice for you to help you get clean its just i dont use my advice myself it doesnt make sense at all but im still on this rollercoaster as of today so gota do something so how many miligrams are you and your boyfriend on daily mainly you and whats your drug of choice if you could pick one we will help you ok dont worry i have a long story if you read my threads i have lost 2 close friends in last 12 months its so sad and im very close to being like them so we can try together
    Sundwn likes this.

  4. #4
    hlfway2sumwhere is offline New Member
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    Default Need someone 2 talk to regarding percocet withdrawal etc

    Hi dreamalittledream I am not sure where you are at in your journey since you posted this awhile ago, but I would really like to talk to you. I am not sure how to contact you since I am new to this websitel] I am feeling very scared and alone and would like to talk to someone who is going through this and/or who has been through this. Again, I am new to this website so I don't know where to look for help, so sorry if this is not the proper channel
    Last edited by ddcmod; 09-08-2011 at 01:53 AM.

  5. #5
    hlfway2sumwhere is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thekid0138 View Post
    Hi dream i have also been going through alot to try to get off roxis and alotof other meds it is very hard i know that for sure i am on at least 300-400mgs of oxycodone a day so that is a problem if you want go read my threads that i have started and you will get a history on me also melinda and robert have alot of very good advice so it will be alot of help to you and i have alot of good advice for you to help you get clean its just i dont use my advice myself it doesnt make sense at all but im still on this rollercoaster as of today so gota do something so how many miligrams are you and your boyfriend on daily mainly you and whats your drug of choice if you could pick one we will help you ok dont worry i have a long story if you read my threads i have lost 2 close friends in last 12 months its so sad and im very close to being like them so we can try together
    Hello there, I saw your response to dreamalittledream and was wondering if you would be willing to talk to me and give me some advice. I am really struggling right now and am not sure the proper channel to post on. My email is listed in this thread so you can contact me there. I dont really know how this forum works and there doesnt appear to be a place to send private messages. I really hope you are willing to talk to me. If I can figure out where to post my 'story' I will do so.

  6. #6
    kristinagoode is offline New Member
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    Default doinitalone

    hello, looks like nobody has been to site in while. i am 41 yr old woman who has been on lortab & perc 30's for past 5 yrs now. i am on withdrawl day 5 now and have woke up feeling little normal. i dont want to mess up have had to turn off phone and lock up house to keep people from bringing them to me. the only reason they bring them to us is because we are paying thier bills!!! im so sick of this life and want to stay clean but usualy relapse after about 5 to 7 days because i can't deal with depression i feel. i have not been to dr bcause i dont have insurance or the money. im so stupid in that fact because i used to have the money before i spent it all on stupid pills!! i live in middle tennessee area and am looking for support group. does anyone out there know of any?? for those of you making the choice today or tomorrow to quit I encourage you to do so. you dont want to be dependant on something that will only bring you down and ruin your life!!! besides you are also paying someone elses bills if your buying off streets!!!i even owe my drug dealer 100$ for fronted pills...do you make amends with a drug dealer??? someone please answer that good luck

    THANKS!!!
    Last edited by ddcmod; 09-08-2011 at 06:27 AM.

  7. #7
    Catrina is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi All!

    All of you who have posted your stories on this thread need to start your own. That way, you can post and get support and it's a whole lot easier for others to find you and keep up with your progress. Just go to the top of this page where's there's a "thread starter" link. Just fill in the blanks.

    I've always got lots to say so I'll watch for your new thread. There are many amazing folks here that are honest and will share their stories and "hints" and tools to getting and staying clean. Now, go start that thread and we'll see you there!

    Peace,

    Cat
    "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahil Gibran (1883-1931).

  8. #8
    Drizzt is offline New Member
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    Question Kicking

    I have recently been w/d'ing off of methadone and the w/d's are just as bad as ever i tapered down to 20mg's of methadone and just quit and the w/d's are just as bad as they were when i went without my dose when i was at 120 mg's daily i recently went to another doctor to get soboxone/subutex(all buprenorphine's) and im seeing alot of posts stating that the half life and the w/d's are worse/longer. The doctor told me to go 3-4 days without my methadone before taking the subutex but hell if im gonna go 3-4 days of w/d why am i going to subutex???so i can do it all over again??? so since this is the case im just gonna keep on trucking and fight through it i have been on every drug possible and opiates are by far the worse i have ever dealt with. Before the methadone clinic i was using whatever opiate i could get my hands on vics,lori's,perc's etc etc etc.... and got to the point i was taking 200 mg of roxies a day. So at the time 15 dollars a day of methadone was alot cheaper than 150 dollars etc a day but now even the 400 a month on the methadone is to much so trying to kick all this ???? sick of being a prisoner to these substances worrying about getting sick and ???? it really sucks to pay all that money to feel normal when i can just fight through this and eventually feel normal for free! boy wont that be the day!Good luck to all ill be checking in from time to time.....

  9. #9
    slosippa is offline New Member
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    Default i know exactly how you feel...ive been there.

    hi dream. let me start by saying that ironically at age 21,my life begun with opiates.when i was 21 i fell at work and was sent to an orthpedist and after x-rays and mri's,i was Rx'd (90)vicodin Es and (90)soma per month.keep in mind this was in 1999 and this was considered ALOT.drugs like oxycontin,ms contin,and opana was not even a bleep on our radar yet.the pills sat in the container for about 2 weeks until one morning my back was KILLING me!! bad! so i took a vicodin and within the hour the pain was not only gone but i felt GREAT physically and mentally.i thought i found the miracle drug! well,i should have known that after 10 days,when i had to take 2 pills to get the relief just 1 would give me,that they were habit forming.
    long story short,i was operated on,and sent to pain management where i was placed on several opiods for pain.i too became addicted.i enrolled in a methadone maintenance clinic and it saved me.cut ALL my cravings but i still had physical pain from my back surgery.for that i took prescription-strength naproxen and it worked.soon i was weaned down to a dosage of methadone that my dr. is able to Rx me a months worth at a time.

    Sorry for the long story..i just had to tell you.in my expierience,most people find GREAT success with suboxone or subutex although it is costly.methadone is another alternative if you have limited resources. for me, i chose methadone because not only does it deter you from taking other pain meds,its strong enough to handle most pain(if taken correctly)and also has an EXTREMELY long half-life...close to 100 hours in some cases. do a little research on the pros/cons of methadone maintenance and suboxone treatment and im sure you should find one that works for you! good luck!

  10. #10
    Anonymous Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Drizzt View Post
    I have recently been w/d'ing off of methadone and the w/d's are just as bad as ever i tapered down to 20mg's of methadone and just quit and the w/d's are just as bad as they were when i went without my dose when i was at 120 mg's daily i recently went to another doctor to get soboxone/subutex(all buprenorphine's) and im seeing alot of posts stating that the half life and the w/d's are worse/longer. The doctor told me to go 3-4 days without my methadone before taking the subutex but hell if im gonna go 3-4 days of w/d why am i going to subutex???so i can do it all over again??? so since this is the case im just gonna keep on trucking and fight through it i have been on every drug possible and opiates are by far the worse i have ever dealt with. Before the methadone clinic i was using whatever opiate i could get my hands on vics,lori's,perc's etc etc etc.... and got to the point i was taking 200 mg of roxies a day. So at the time 15 dollars a day of methadone was alot cheaper than 150 dollars etc a day but now even the 400 a month on the methadone is to much so trying to kick all this ???? sick of being a prisoner to these substances worrying about getting sick and ???? it really sucks to pay all that money to feel normal when i can just fight through this and eventually feel normal for free! boy wont that be the day!Good luck to all ill be checking in from time to time.....
    been there done that mate. the reason you have to be in moderate to severe withdrawl is so you dont get real sick when the bupe binds on to your receptors. its called precipitated withdrawl.
    and you should know too, the withdrawls from methadone kick in after day 3 or 4. you would be in a world of hurt.
    i know how hard it is to get off methadone. done it couple of times. went back.
    subs for me were the turning point
    i used them to taper down to zero. and have been off them since december

    they are a good tool.. use them

  11. #11
    freedom11 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheekysod View Post
    been there done that mate. the reason you have to be in moderate to severe withdrawl is so you dont get real sick when the bupe binds on to your receptors. its called precipitated withdrawl.
    and you should know too, the withdrawls from methadone kick in after day 3 or 4. you would be in a world of hurt.
    i know how hard it is to get off methadone. done it couple of times. went back.
    subs for me were the turning point
    i used them to taper down to zero. and have been off them since december

    they are a good tool.. use them
    agree with Cheeky - i went down to 4ml meth a day and couldn't hack it coming off - just start low on the subs - as low as poss. love jay

  12. #12
    fibro_patients is offline New Member
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    Wink Hi all

    Went to doctor and they were no help to me, after all thats what HELPED me get here in the first place. As for suboxone, I would only be putting myself into another frying pan! Switching to a long-acting synethic is only prolonging someones habit. That is almost as hard to kick as Methadone. It was derrived from BUPERNEX, which is only avaiable i.e. injection so they came out with subatex/suboxone. Been there, done that. Please understand what you are doing, before you do it, and if you still feel its the right thing for you then go for it. GOOD LUCK! and thanks for your reply!

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